frockazulu -- There's a party in my...
mouth, and everyone's coming.
mind, and I hope it never stops.
office, and I'm gonna have to pretend a relative died or something to get out of it.
basement, and they just made short work of a tribe of kobolds.
observacious -- When will they put "cliterific" in the dictionary?
Dictionary words are like the Rock & Roll hall of fame. They have to be around x many years before they get in. Cliterific should make it right around the same time as skeet-skeet.
When? It's already in there. Right after GULLIBLE lolz.
Right after gash replaces vagina as the proper medical term.
absolutcalm -- The WB is rerunning all the John Ritter 8 Simple Rules episodes. Am I the only one creeped out by Zombie Sitcom Dad?
If the WB actually had Zombie Sitcom Dads, I may just watch.
Zombie Sitcom Dad? No. Zombie Sitcom Fake Gay Roommate? Freaky.
No, but the thought of a white guy on the WB creeps me out a bit.
I'm more uneasy about the thought of that show having been on long enough to be syndicated.
chaoticgoodnik -- How lame is it that earlier today I thought, "Hey, today is Friday! That means another maeincarnate poll!"?
Hey, if that's lame, you can just call me Lamey McLamestein.
Not lame at all. The Friday Poll rules.
There's nothing lame about nursing your weekly hangover with coffee, a fried-egger, and The Friday Poll.
Lame like campy hairmetal and B-horror flicks, when lame really means AWESOME.
subbes -- How do I get my boyfriend to CLEAN UP AFTER HIMSELF? Short of death threats.
Past experience has taught me that most people are subject to "guilt cleaning". Start cleaning stuff while he's sitting around being a slob and he should follow suit.
Positive reinforcement. By this I mean blowjobs.
Negative reinforcement. By this I mean toothy blowjobs.
Make a trail of Chips Ahoys that leads to the vacuum cleaner.
funboytim -- How do YOU do how you do?
I got style for miles.
Dotting the I's and crossing the T's.
With the Three C's: Cool, Calm, and Collected.
soarjubs -- If every time you had an orgasm you randomly killed one living person, would you stop masturbating (frigid bitches need not reply with "I don't HAVE to touch myself", stfu slut)
So long as it's one of those brown people.
This mental picture is a lot less cute than that kitten bouncing through the field.
Don't even kid. I practically had hair on my palms around the time that Bird Flu thing hit.
If there's a better idea for controlling overpopulation, I haven't heard it.
eideteker -- Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? I mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a gonna be in motion. Y'see?
Shut up, hayseed.
demoninmyskull -- Why is Nintendogs so awesome?
It's a dog that doesn't smell bad or shit in your house.
It's a dog that you can turn off when you want to go to happy hour or on vacation.
It's a dog that doesn't express it's love for you with drool.
It's got all the socialization of taking your dog to the dog park without the pesky putting on shoes part.
twicketface -- How come you never find hair in food you prepare yourself?
I wish I did find it in the food I prepare myself. I hate it when my guests find the hair.
Unlike restaurant employees, amateur chefs rarely scratch their crotches with their bare hands while cooking.
It's a game between the cooks and the waitstaff. Each night, one of the cooks is chosen to hair one dish. The remaining cooks and waiters place bets on which waiter will get the winning dish. If the customer doesn't notice the hair, the jackpot grows.
Those aren't hairs.
coldblackncold -- Pudding?
My name is Barry, Sagittarius.
I thought I was your Snack Pack.
That's not pudding.
renob423 -- who sleeps in lee harvey's grave?
Lee Harvey's sad sad wife.
You don't mean Lee Harvey Feldman? Shit...he's dead?
bobwhite -- WHERE ARE MY NETFLIX MR POSTMAN?
UNDER A TABLE AT SOME SORTING FACILITY. BLOCKBUSTER GIVES US A KICKBACK.
DUDE YOU GOTTA RETURN ONE BEFORE THEY SEND ANOTHER. JEEZ.
EXCEUZE ME. THE PROPER TERM IS POSTAL DELIVERY ADMINISTRATOR.
THANKS FOR THE CHRISTMAS TIP, ASSHOLE.
pooplord -- What am I to make of a band called "Soul Sledge"?
A clever restaurateur in Memphis has already made a lovely entree out of it, so don't you go plagorizin'.
About a buck's worth of store credit at CD Cellar.
A bathroom/beer break.
You see...they've got soul...but not in like a subtle way. It's heavy and totally in your face like a sledgehammer.
friendship7 -- Want some candy?
Only if I have to go into a rusty Chevy van to get it.
Pope shit in the woods?
Naw, baby. I want some sugar.
Nigga, you KNOW I do!
Of the following movies, which one are you thankful that you saw as a child/teenager because without the nostalgia factor, you'd never have sat through that piece of crap:
The Breakfast Club
Pump Up the Volume
You want questions? You got questions!