The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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It's Friday Poll Time!

A special Happy Birthday goin' out to coldblackncold, rskipwo, piperlemons, and a day-early to bruthae

Poll #683938 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

coldblackncold -- It is my birthday today. What awesome things should I expect for 29?

Dollars? A CD, a pizza, and maybe a pack of smokes. Pesos? You're on your own.
3(15.8%)
One more year of being in your twenties.
8(42.1%)
Throughout the year, you will find yourself receiving all of the gifts you asked for as a child but never got, including, but not limited to: The Ewok Village Playset, a cassette walkman, and a pet hamster.
7(36.8%)
An entire year of surprisingly accurate daily horoscopes.
1(5.3%)

eideteker -- Hey, daddy-o. Dig the gams on that swell dame. She sure is cherry. Too bad she's such a square broad. It'd be nifty if she were groovier, instead of such a drag.

Whoawhoawhoa. Even tragically overlooked slang needs to be used sparingly. Take it easy.
3(16.7%)
Radical, dude. Totally radical.
2(11.1%)
Every week it's a new low. I'm almost impressed at how you can not only make me regret a single question, but the entire Friday Poll format.
6(33.3%)
Your question for next week better include the following words: lottery, shiny, dumptruck, monkey, viscous, plug, puppy, sack, and coupon.
7(38.9%)

petdance -- Can YOU wag your tail like an arctic fox?

Naw, but I'll give you some shake with those fries.
1(5.3%)
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
7(36.8%)
Arctic, Schmartic. I wag my tail like the American Fox I am.
7(36.8%)
Um, no?
4(21.1%)

htothem -- What truly is crazy delicious?

Sweet Tea
4(22.2%)
7-Layer Burritos
6(33.3%)
100 Grand Bars
5(27.8%)
Mej's Own® Macaroni & Cheese
3(16.7%)

pantload -- My one year old daughter likes me to read the same simple, dopey childrens book over and over every night. Try to draw a parallel with 'American Idol' fans.

If William Hung can earn his 15 minutes on American Idol, why hasn't he conquered the children's book world?
1(5.3%)
American Idol just goes to prove that Everyone Poops.
4(21.1%)
Like your daughter, American Idol fans don't really understand the words that are being spoken, they simply enjoy voices talking at them in soothing, rhyming tones.
7(36.8%)
Your daughter and American Idol fans also both enjoy randomly pounding buttons on the telephone.
7(36.8%)

absolutcalm -- Kurt Cobain died for my sins. Who died for yours?

'Grandpa' Al Lewis
2(10.5%)
John Lennon
6(31.6%)
Don Knotts
4(21.1%)
Some Joe you never heard of. Why's it always gotta be somebody famous?
7(36.8%)

veejay -- who are you people? where are my shoes?

And what have you done with my keys?
2(10.5%)
My kidneys better be right where I left them.
7(36.8%)
I'm gonna bring all of my shoes and my glasses with me. So I have them.
7(36.8%)
We were afraid of what you might do with the laces if we left you with your shoes. It's better this way.
3(15.8%)

knorg -- Why is there always an awkward silence when I talk about bestial necrophilia in british politics?

The British are a reserved bunch. You shuld use clever euphemisms, such as "Beating a Dead Horse" or "Wagging the Dog".
4(22.2%)
Americans truly never will understand British Politics.
5(27.8%)
While Americans pronounce the word like "Bee-stee-ull", the British say "Best-chull". It sounds funny to them when you say it "wrong".
6(33.3%)
Because treating allegations like facts is rude, no matter what the topic.
3(16.7%)

friendship7 -- There's been a can of spinach that has managed to make it to every new place I've lived since 1997. I'm getting tired of it, what should I do with this old friend to send him off?

Two words: Potato. Gun.
4(21.1%)
Do what the rest of us do when we have a can of food we've owned for nine years: donate it to whatever food drive will save you a dollar on admission to some event.
8(42.1%)
Squeeze the can in such a way that the spinach jumps straight into your mouth. Then punch somebody.
6(31.6%)
Remove the labels from this and all other cans in your pantry. Every meal is a gamble!
1(5.3%)

twicketface -- Why isn't SNL funnier?

Horatio Sanz is alive.
4(21.1%)
Phil Hartman is dead.
6(31.6%)
Rather than expecting guest hosts to act, they write sketches in which the guest host simply has to be themselves.
3(15.8%)
You're not 16 anymore.
6(31.6%)

observacious -- Fat Tuesday, Fat Albert, or Baby Phat?

Fat Tuesday.
2(10.5%)
Fat Albert.
6(31.6%)
Baby Phat.
0(0.0%)
Fat Albert in a glitter baby-tee at Mardi Gras.
11(57.9%)

calamine_tea -- Why can't chinese restaurants down south make decent egg rolls??

If the shit that passes for "pizza" sells in the south, why would the egg rolls be any good?
3(15.8%)
Why bother? Southerners only comprehend the food they created (i.e., biscuits, "Chicken Fried" things, banana pudding). Anything that comes from somewhere other than the former Confederacy is a mystery to them.
8(42.1%)
The heat and humidity make the usual wrappings mushy, so they have to go with a weird sort of cardboardy stuff that they always end up with too much of so the proportion of roll to stuff is all wrong.
4(21.1%)
For some reason, Chinese food isn't enough for the restaurants in the south. They have to be Chinese/Burger/Chicken/Sub places. It's the diversification that kills them.
4(21.1%)

clockwatcher -- Check on the gams on that dame!

That's some tasty sweatermeat she's got too!
6(31.6%)
Wait, what does 'gams' mean again?
2(10.5%)
Those stems are giving me the vapors.
10(52.6%)
Must be from all the hoofin' and ballin'.
1(5.3%)

renob423 -- why do the olympics suck so much?

All the ridiculous hype saturating every media outlet.
4(21.1%)
Bullshit qualitative pseudosports. Can anyone really "win" Ice Dancing?
9(47.4%)
Nobody gives a shit who wins the Croatia vs. Brazil handball finals.
2(10.5%)
Anything that features grown men shedding tears while wearing lycra.
4(21.1%)

funboytim -- What's the worst TV program to have lasted more than just a season or two?

ER
5(26.3%)
King of Queens
9(47.4%)
Mad TV
5(26.3%)
All in the Family
0(0.0%)

It's Oscar weekend, and the buzz is blazing! This year, most of the chosen films seem to have some GLBT theme. What's next year's Topic du Oscar gonna be?

Thinly-veiled metaphoric morality plays about the Korean War.
2(10.5%)
Subtitled foreign films that without the snobbery of their foreignness, nobody would have given 2 shits about them, but if you say you don't like them, people think you're an idiot who won't "read movies".
3(15.8%)
Retards! Retards!! Retards!!!
11(57.9%)
If the 2002 Oscars were the "Blackout"...get ready for 2007's Yellow Fever!
3(15.8%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

Tags: friday poll
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