absolutcalm -- WTF is with people not reading the forms they're filling out? It says MM/DD/YY. That doesn't mean write in "Mar 20th 2006," dipshits. I'll find and kill the next "per hour" write in that skips where the form actually says PER FUCKING HOUR!! ARGH!
Looks like someone's got a case of the eideteker
This is why there are government jobs. Shit, this is why you have a job.
They want to be absolutely sure you're not planning on paying them $6.50 a year.
Like they know when DD is.
observacious -- Why aren't there more songs about James K. Polk?
The K. initial throws the meter off.
With all the child molestation business, nobody likes to sing about Jacksonians anymore.
Isn't In a Big Country by Big Country about Manifest Destiny? Does that count?
coldblackncold -- Can anything be done about Harrison Ford's earring? Why are we being betrayed?
There will be no mention of Han Solo's earring. Han Solo wears no jewelery.
That's not an earring--it's Calista Flockhart's belt! (ba-dum-dum!)
If movies have taught me anything, if you take something away from Harrison Ford, he's going to get all wet and yelly to get it back.
George Lucas discovered Harrison Ford. If his judgment in other avenues is any indication...I hate to say it...maybe the earring is telling us the betrayal is finally over.
funboytim -- Who's the ugliest person alive? (That we know of, not counting Jiang Chang in Outer Mongolia with the twin thing grown into the side of his face.)
The twin thing on the side of Jiang Chang's face.
Now that Tiny Tim is dead, we may never know.
pooplord -- What would they call "Big Pussy" if the Sopranos was on network television (or maybe even basic cable) instead of HBO?
"Twatty Bird" D'ataglio
Large Italian Catburglar
Vinny "the Vag" Cacciabeve
clockwatcher -- What's your favorite kind of chocolate?
The chocolate kind.
knorg -- Why don't the nurses believe me when I have things removed in ER?
They all know you're not authorized.
Those people aren't nurses. They're actors.
The ER really isn't the place for trickery, sir. Those nice ladies have lives to save.
Let's just say your excuses don't really hold water. Nobody ends up with a mustard jar up their ass after falling down the stairs.
friendship7 -- Is there a better dinner than a salad bowl full of breakfast cereal?
A mixing bowl full of breakfast cereal.
Macaroni & Cheese
A salad bowl full of Total Breakfast cereal. You'd have to eat eleven salad bowls of Special K to get the amount of calcium in ONE salad bowl of Total!
eideteker -- Which was the better part of your average Beavis & Butt-head episode? The story, or the videos?
Then: story. Now: seeing those ridiculous videos from 1993.
twicketface -- Why are moustaches so hilarious?
Because the adjective form is mustachioed.
They're the one comedy edge that man has over monkey.
Mustache Rides 25¢
From Adolf Hitler to Geraldo Rivera, a mustache allows us to gaze upon the purest of evils with smiles on our faces.
renob423 -- if all the insects in the world decided to attack the humans, who would win?
I'd like to take this opportuinty to reaffirm my allegiance to this country and its human president. May not be perfect, but it's still the best government we have. For now.
Everyone who scoffed at the idea of the human population being too large.
In a world dominated by insects, the Beekeeper is King.
soarjubs -- What could possibly explain how a group of ruff and tumble orcs got into a forbidden underground complex, only to be slaughtered by hordes of fiendish darkmantles, dire rats and rat swarms? Also, can swarms smite good?
If renob's hypothetical ever comes true, let's hope swarms can't smite good.
Sounds like it's going to be a rough summer for midseason replacements. Forget how they got in there...the hijinx begin when they try to get out!
And seriously. How many weary adventurers did they think they were going to con with that whole "there's food behind the trapped door" trick?
They heard Paul Orkenfold was dropping phat breaks down at the WLD, but then Grok Thickneck spilled his blood ale on some stupid monsters and a brawl broke out. And yes, swarms can smite good, ask Evan. [Let's give it up for my DM, folks!]
My hairstylist is a gaunt French-Lebanese man at about 6' tall and 145lb, who smokes constantly and always wears courdory blazers with the sleeves bunched up. Guess his name:
If I told you that on my way home the other night, the train station looked like the end of Crocodile Dundee, would you know what I meant?
From the Big Boss' window, I can see about 3 block's worth of yabbos lined up to get into LuLus for St. Patricks Day. LuLus, for those of you who don't know, is a Mardi-Gras themed bar. While I appreciate getting up early on St. Patricks Day to go drinking, why LuLu's?
Seamus Thibedeaux's Zydeco Step Dancers.
The first person to find the Baby Jesus in the Chicken Pot Pie wins a six pack of Blackened Voodoo.
Bennigans may have novelty green beer...we've got authentic N'awlins Water!
Any drinking holiday is a good drinking holiday to trade a peep at your ta-tas for plastic jewlery.
At this time next Friday, I will be stepping off a cruise ship onto Key West. As such, these questions will be for March 31.