friendship7 -- What's the best thing about living in the DC area?
Our semi-functional, somewhat-convenient public transportation system that pretty much allows us to get just about where we need to be most of the time.
No need to worry about rush hour traffic - you can expect on major delays everywhere at anytime.
You never have to be afraid to try out new things. No matter where you look, safe, reliable, sterile corporate chains are there to satisfy your every consumer need.
Whenever you travel outside the DC area, people assume you are both politically aware and active, and will eagerly await your lengthy and informed opinion on the subject.
anonymous1327 -- what ever happened to that kid from webster?
He washed down some Pop Rocks with a can of coke.
We're not sure. Please ignore the tiny skeleton in the dumbwaiter.
He's been touring Los Angeles doing speaking gigs as the "Original Brown Orphan".
calamine_tea -- Is identity theft as big of a problem as the credit card companies like us to believe?
Sheyah. Like credit card companies would embellish on their own weaknesses just to sell us protection against them.
Common? No. Bad? Remind me to tell you how much time my buddy Carl spent in court trying to clear off bills addressed to a lady Carla with the same last name, and oddly enough, same social security number.
I don't care. As long as they keep making those funny black people/white voices commercials!
This calls for science: post your credit card number on your LJ and we'll find out!
sublimal -- How can I represent pi as a fraction?
mmm...fraction of pie.
I'm not sure. I only know how to represent pi using interpretive dance.
I dunno. Ask one of those dudes wandering around college campuses with pi and other greek letters on his shirt. One of them should know.
subbes -- What's this Snakes on a Plane hype?
Great. First terrorists. Now snakes. Amtrak must be jumping for joy.
It's the future of marketing and it's staring you right in the face.
I'm still holding out hope that there really is no movie, and Sam Jackson & co. are going to make a press release commending us all for being such good media lemmings.
eideteker -- Is soarjubs waiting for me to ask my question first again this week?
He was, but you didn't really leave him much to work with, did you?
Paranoid much? Jeez.
twicketface -- What makes salsa so goddamn delicious?
Chips & Margaritas.
Paco the Sweaty Mexican.
clockwatcher -- It's my party. Should I cry, if I want to?
You can. I don't know if you should. I mean, way to crap up your own party.
No, but you should make someone else cry.
Do what you want, dude. Nobody's judging you.
Only if a resounding "I Love You Man" is involved.
renob423 -- your average human in a cage match against a very powerfull raccoon, who will win?
The human. Size matters.
The raccoon. The average human is kind of a pussy.
In the short run, the human. The only thing that can make a raccoon powerful is rabies, so he'll win in the end.
Powerful, schmowerful. Raccoons have cute fluffy tails, and humans have poison. And ya know, guns.
absolutcalm -- Last week, I made a reference to the Gremlins-- which no one 20 or under had seen, apparently. The rest of us oldies were appalled. What does that mean?
Having had seen Gremlins as children, none of us really realized how crappy that movie really is.
The first time I ever felt old was when I met a little girl who was younger than Ghostbusters. She could buy me a beer now.
You'll get to laugh someday when they're ranting at some whippersnapper who hasn't seen 10 Things I Hate About You.
The same thing it always means when you're on the Old-side of a debate: Young people are stupid.
soarjubs -- Hyphenated combi-curses are better than regular curses. Confirm/Deny you bitchfags.
To a maximum of two combi-curses and one adjective per curse. For example: "Filthy, jizfarting cockhog" and "Crusty, dick-dripping coozehound" work, where "Stanktwatted sperm-belching cumdumpster" is overkill.
ao -- "_______" is crucial for a good sandwich. (ex: I require tobasco & mayo)
I require cheese is crucial for a good sandwich.
I require a minimum of two slices of bread is crucial for a good sandwich.
I require Boar's Head meats is crucial for a good sandwich.
I require flavor-complimentary chips and beverages is crucial for a good sandwich.
From our guest questioneer: Dual-genitaled marsupials vs. quad-stomached ungulates?
Quad-stomached ungulates. Thanks to them, we live in a world where llamas and whales fell off the same family tree. That's gotta mean something.
Dual-genitaled marsupials. Two-pronged penises, people. Come. On.
While sitting at a bar the other night, I noticed a newscast on the TV that featured the best caption I had ever seen: Burglary Suspect Loses Pants in River. What could possibly beat that?
Hi-C Spring Discovered in Rural Arkansas.
Detroit Area Vigilante Identifies Self as Captain Save-a-Ho.
Experts Predict Domesticated Squirrel Monkey Pets Available To Mass Market by Early 2009.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Chosen as New Face of the Twenty-Dollar Bill.