The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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It's Monday Poll Time!

Mej Note: Just for fun, let's pretend it's Friday. If you can believe it, I actually had this written by 8pm Friday night, but wasn't able to fix a tag error somewhere (thanks, LJ for telling me there is one, god forbid you tell me where) before we went out for Dale's birthday extravaganza.

Friday was rough. I wrote most of the poll throughout the week, anticipating not wanting to spend too much time on my vacation in front of the computer. I did not anticipate spending most of today carefully nursing a monumental hangover. I guess I also did not anticipate the "one more beer" at the leatherman bar up the street from Dale's would turn into a beer, a shot, and a conversation with a man wearing nothing but a codpiece either. So yeah. Sorry about the delay.


First thing's first. A Big Friday Poll Happy [Belated] Birthday to Ms. calamine_tea! To mark the occasion, she will get first question.

Poll #823932 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

calamine_tea -- What's the secret to Mej's Mac & Cheese?

Using the cheapest generic box you can find.
6(35.3%)
Real butter.
3(17.6%)
Black pepper.
2(11.8%)
TLC.
6(35.3%)

bobwhite -- Why are the good concerts always on weeknights?

Because those are the bands that haven't sold out. Weekdays...weeknights...it only makes a difference to slaves of The Man.
8(47.1%)
To make sure the "all ages" thing stays under control.
1(5.9%)
Because "good concert" means something different to Ticketmaster than it does to music fans.
5(29.4%)
There's nothing more rock & roll than a Wednesday hangover.
3(17.6%)

anonymous1327 -- the wal-mart is a breeding ground for?

The tenets of National Socialism.
5(29.4%)
Ringworm.
3(17.6%)
Feeder fish.
5(29.4%)
D-list celebrity clothing lines.
4(23.5%)

ao -- At what point does a box of thin mints in the freezer become worth $100 to someone else?

It's a complicated formula. Take the value of the box, multiply it by the rarity scale (3% per day for the first week, 6% for the second, and so on), and add the $5 instant-gratification fee.
1(6.2%)
When you put $96 in with the cookies.
7(43.8%)
When they become Tagalongs.
4(25.0%)
When you're good and stubborn about selling them. $4 Thin Mints are an easy get. Those chicks are just begging you to buy them. But hoarded Thin Mints? Hot damn.
4(25.0%)

htothem -- What new and inventive prescription drug will I be seeing a commercial for next?

Halitosor. Taken daily, Halitosor provides effective internal prevention of bad breath.
3(17.6%)
If you or someone you know suffers from chronic laziness, from not wanting to reach for the remote to still living with their parents, talk to your doctor about Motivetra. Motivetra stimulates the brain's natural "get up and go!".
4(23.5%)
Do the morons you encounter on a daily basis leave you feeling frustrated? Irritated? Are you supressing urges to strangle the people who waste your time? Call now for a free sample of Chokinex.
7(41.2%)
You know it looks silly when you do it, but you can't stop. You've tried gum, smoking, and snacking, but nothing quite feels the same. When you're ready to finally stop biting your nails, you're ready for Cuticyl.
3(17.6%)

absolutcalm -- Man, I love when people die in ironic ways-- thanks Steve Irwin!! -- what's the next big, ironic celebrity death I can look forward to (who and how)?

Paris Hilton chokes to death on a hot dog (too easy?)
2(11.8%)
Aliens land, demand scalp of Tom Cruise.
5(29.4%)
Nicole Ritchie dies of complications resulting from food poisoning.
4(23.5%)
Oprah mowed down by one of those cars she gave away.
6(35.3%)

eideteker -- What glass splinters lie so deep in your mind?

Beer bottles, mostly.
5(29.4%)
I know...I know...I should have called it a loss when the mirror broke, but it was the last of my stash.
4(23.5%)
I'm sorry, what?
8(47.1%)
Feh. Give me Rio or give me death.
0(0.0%)

subbes -- What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you think I had no good ideas for the Friday Poll question? Because, uh, I don't.

Quote a movie or some internet joke. Everyone seems to love ones like that.
2(11.8%)
Make up a fight between a Thundercat and some dude who was in G.I. Joe.
6(35.3%)
You can just vent or ramble senselessly. That has never stopped anyone else.
0(0.0%)
Another good route is to go all risque, 'cause the least PC ones are the best.
2(11.8%)
Or you could bust on poor edieteker. No one's been doing that recently.
4(23.5%)
What can you do? Hey, at least you gave one, and we can't be upset about that.
3(17.6%)

twicketface -- Am I the only one who likes sleeping with a fan on year-round? The answer is no. Most of the people I know sleep with a fan or some other source of white noise all year.

Hey buddy, if you've got fans, it's your job...nay, your duty to sleep with them. Year-round.
7(41.2%)
Only in alleys, up against dumpsters, in buses/vans, or in mens restrooms.
3(17.6%)
Wrap it up, B. You better wrap that shit up.
4(23.5%)
You're a married man, dude. Be like The Jovi.
3(17.6%)

sublimal -- What will be the next breakthrough in the pornography industry?

Using those colonoscopy cameras to get the money shot from the inside.
3(17.6%)
Some kind of facial recognition (uh, huhuhuhuh. facial) technology that allows you to put any face you want on the actors.
2(11.8%)
Siamese Twins: The New Double Penetration.
4(23.5%)
XboX360 releases a line of porno games in which you can move the people around and decide what they do and where. Vibrate? On.
8(47.1%)

renob423 -- if they make pupies at puppy mills, is there a kitten mill to, or is that just a seperate wing of the puppy mill?

Yes, it's in the east wing with the Duckie Mill and the Bunny Mill.
4(23.5%)
The Kitten Mill was one of Ron Popiel's less popular inventions.
6(35.3%)
No. It's a horrible place where little kittens work for 10 hours a day under squalid conditions for a mere pittance. Think of all those pictures of kids working in factories from the 1900's except it's kittens.
5(29.4%)
Wait...if there's a kitten mill, there must also be a kitten farm! Maybe that's where Muffin went!
2(11.8%)

friendship7 -- I worked with a minor internet celebrity for three years and the world needs to know the truth. What should I do?

Expose the truth on the internet and make a minor internet celebrity out of yourself.
7(41.2%)
Suck it up and fume like a good minor internet nonentity.
3(17.6%)
Truth? What's the internet got to do with truth?
1(5.9%)
Seriously, just make up a website about it or something. It's the only choice.
6(35.3%)

soarjubs -- Which of the seven dwarves would be the best lay? I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed for knowing them all off the top of my head.

Sleepy. They couldn't call him "Fucky" or "Horny" in the 30's so they had to go with the standard euphemism.
0(0.0%)
Happy. A fun, bouncy, "tickle me there" sort of lay.
2(11.8%)
Dopey. It's sex, not philosophy.
2(11.8%)
Sneezy. That runny nose ain't from allergies. He can go all night and has the blow to do it.
2(11.8%)
Grumpy. The original grudge fuck.
2(11.8%)
Bashful. Remember what Revenge of the Nerds taught us about shy guys.
5(29.4%)
Doc. When you want it done right, call the doctor.
4(23.5%)

From Evan: What video game should be turned into a movie?

Loud, thumping, fast drums. Alternate shots and flashing words at a quickening pace. Tack. Pencil. Milk. Pumpkin. Basket. Child. Vending Machine. Car. Tree. Building. This summer, get caught up in it. Katamari Damacy. Let's Roll.
4(25.0%)
In a world were obesity has been conquered by genetically engineered foodstuffs, only one man has the skill and the pepper to fight back. Burgertime. This Thanksgiving, Get Fat.
3(18.8%)
Man opening dusty chest, inspecting items as he pulls them out individually. "A whip? Axe? Little bottles of water?" Eric Bana is Simon Belmont. Castlevania. Soft female voice: Do you believe in destiny?
4(25.0%)
A Warrior. A Wizard. An Elf. A Valkyrie. Four heroes trapped. Their fate in the hands of a demon. Magic. Speed. Strength. Endurance. They'll have to use them all as they face danger in every corner. Gauntlet. Someone Shot The Food.
5(31.2%)

On the eve of my friend's 30th birthday, I got the kind of drunk reserved for teenagers.

Grow up. You're nearly 30 also. You shouldn't be falling asleep next to toilets.
4(23.5%)
Rock on. You're only as old as you act.
13(76.5%)

It [was on Friday]'s calamine_tea's Birthday! Let us celebrate by commenting on her awesomeness.

YOUR QUESTION HERE

Tags: friday poll
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