observacious -- What happened to my red dry-erase marker?
Yeah...um...I, uh...why don't I just buy you a new one.
If you weren't such a Little Miss Corrects-a-lot, it may not have dried out so quickly.
If it was up your butt you'd know it.
Isn't that what we're all asking? Where do the red dry-erase markers go in all of our lives?
absolutcalm -- Did you hear? Robert Downey Jr. is playing Iron man!!! What other Super Hero roles should Robert Downey Jr. have played?
All of them. Robert Downey Jr. is the finest actor of our time. He should be cast in everything.
This casting is too perfect to think of him as any other superhero.
ao -- Is it "Black" or "African American" - I forgot.
Black. Not all blacks are African and not all Africans are black.
African American. It's a culture, not a color.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, it's "Black or African-American".
Is this the answer to solving all PC quandaries out there? Just putting it on the poll?
anonymous1327 -- i don't watch the nightly news anymore, where should i get my current information about the world and all that jazz?
Considering the caliber of journalism you're used to from the Nightly News, you may as well get your information from a Bazooka Joe wrapper.
Just randomly half-read the rantier posts on your friends lists. Why bother making up your own opinion based on facts and stuff when your friends have nice little soundbytes you can steal?
As far as I'm concerned, the only information about the world necessary is available on Defamer. Jazz? You're on your own.
At the top of each hour, the chick on the morning bozo radio show does about 3 minutes of news. Works for me.
renob423 -- is there really a missing link running around oregon somewhere? and if so, why have we not found the remains of one? does the missing link burry his dead? and does he fuck monkeys or other missing links to have baby missing links?
Yeah...and what if C-A-T really spelled "dog".
I've wondered this more than once. Why aren't there thousands of people in all sorts of stages of evolution all over the place? You'd think at least one other monkey has tried to stand up between then and now.
It's either monkeys or people, and I dare you to find someone willing to fuck the Missing Link.
Half the people I’ve met love to boast about how they're part Cherokee, since they heard maybe their father's grandmother's grandmother was 1/4 Cherokee or whatever. If Missing Links fucked people, maybe Missing Link would become the new Cherokee.
eideteker -- Have you figured out the secret message hidden in my questions for September yet? To refresh everyone's memory, they were: "What was up with that last guy's question? What's up with that guy, for that matter?", "I need a job. What field should I seek work in?", "What glass splinters lie so deep in your mind?", "Solve for y where y = -0.4n and where n satisfies the expression "Mr. T n my balls.", and "Take the L out of lover and it's ____."
"Here's a few decent questions for you assholes (other than one way too obscure reference). Now stop busting my nutsack."
You're in love with my boyfriend, Duran Duran, and Mr. T, and want to figure out how to make a profit off it.
If you use the old spy methods, it's either "What need splinters where of" or "Matter in mind balls _____."
I dunno. You got glass in your balls or something? I wasn't really paying attention.
veejay -- Can the Venture Bros. ever top a Scooby Doo parody, where they model the titular character after the satanic talking dog from the son of sam killings?
"When the gates open me, Poe, and me rush in. You got that?"
"I have made the purchase of this Homeboy figurine from the vending machine in your sitting room."
"Okay, one: you're totally gay. Two: she's hot, and you're an albino. And three: you're totally gay."
From Evan: If you could invent a new holiday, what would it be about?
The Mid-August There Aren't Any Federal Holidays In August Holiday. What's this 11 holidays crap? There are 12 months, people.
January 2: Still Not Quite Recovered Day. We really shouldn't be expected to nurse a hangover and drive home from wherever we were on New Years Eve on the same day.
The third Friday in September: National Greasy Breakfast Day. Like the Wearin' of the Green, the Eatin' of the Eggs is to be encouraged by all. Bosses are not to look down upon tardiness on National Greasy Breakfast Day - it's a holiday, dammit.
The Monday After Labor Day: Welcome Back to Work Day. To honor the first full week of the post-summer vacation season, all traffic and parking rules are relaxed to holiday levels to ease congestion and workshock.
The only downside of my job I can see from here is that my boss and the guys in my department think it's fresh and funny to joke about who is or is not a metrosexual, and whether or not certain actions make someone metrosexual, or turning innocent events into homosexual innuendos and then pretending other people are shocked by it. When I don't bust my gut with them over this topic, they seem to believe their zaniness is scaring me, and comment to that effect. What should I do?
Laugh until you cry. They're funny, they just don't know why.
See how scared they are when you show 'em a real buttsex joke.
Keep up what you're doing. Maybe it's better to be under some sort of comic incognito. If you're too funny at work, you might be expected to tell jokes on command and stuff.
Play along, and throw in some equally relevant comments like comparisons to Ricky Martin and Will & Grace.
And a last minute question submission from soarjubs -- What is the best flavor of genitals?
Is it "Black" or "African American" - I forgot.
Kind of like a good vodka: a little bitter and tangy but still spicy and aromatic.