The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

  • Mood:

It's Friday Poll Time!

Poll #843968 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

bobwhite -- What's a better super power than being able to vomit on command?

To have an invisible eye beam that ranges from making people simply nauseous or completely crap themselves.
3(21.4%)
To be able to do the Jedi Mind Trick without talking.
3(21.4%)
Timestop. No question. Like on Out of This World or what I think that last Adam Sandler move was about.
6(42.9%)
To be able to make sounds with a hand gesture, like a laugh track or a rimshot, or a slide-whistle "mmmmmmmeeeeewwwwwwooooooooop" or one of those old car horn "awoooooooooooooga"s.
2(14.3%)

anonymous1327 -- how cool is it that it's oct and still 90 degrees in south louisiana?

And the humidity! Oh man is that sweet.
5(33.3%)
Your entire fall is being destroyed by treacherous heat. You poor thing.
3(20.0%)
Dude, Santa Claus is going to have heat stroke.
5(33.3%)
If I never had to alter my shorts/t-shirt/flip flops uniform, I'd be a happy camper.
2(13.3%)

absolutcalm -- Why is it that working in a restuarants is such a hotbed of indulgant homoeroticism, rampant sluttiness and blatant homophobia all at the same time?

Don't forget drug abuse!
9(60.0%)
Since everyone else works 9-5, those on the restaurant schedule become bound together in a closed society. They’re bound to fuck everyone in the group before too long, same-sex included. It's not really that slutty when you consider the ratios.
2(13.3%)
I never really got the homophoberotic vibe when I worked in restaurants. Rampant sluttiness, sure, but notsomuch the gay stuff.
1(6.7%)
Waiters and bartenders are essentially strippers whoring themselves for cash to the starving masses, except they have more clothes. I imagine backstage at Chippendales is a lot like the back of the house.
3(20.0%)

observacious -- Slash advertises VWs now. Who will be the next 90s icon turned corporate whore and what unlikely product will they sell?

In the latest Stove Top commercial, Fiona Apple sits politely at a quaint suburban kitchen table lovingly pouring gravy over a scoop of fresh stuffing. It's so good it's Criminal!
4(26.7%)
Nothing gets between MC Hammer and his Calvins.
2(13.3%)
Trojan Man replaced by Joe Camel. "My work here is finished!"
1(6.7%)
Bo Knows Online Bachelors Degree Programs.
8(53.3%)

twicketface -- What makes it 'cottage' cheese?

I'm not sure. It's not like other cottages induce vomiting so efficiently.
2(13.3%)
Only a poor person would think to eat rotten milk not quite cheese. "Cottage" is just a nice word for the kind of tiny dump houses poor people live in. But "Tiny Dump House Rotten Milky Not Quite Cheese" wouldn't sell in New York City.
3(20.0%)
To convince people to eat it, they had to make it sound homey and quaint.
2(13.3%)
I dunno, but I actually like cottage cheese.
8(53.3%)

eideteker -- Charles & Eddie were totally gay, weren't they? And I don't mean "crappy"; they were literally homosexual. With each other. Right?

Okay, I remember this song now that I'm watching it, but damned if I knew the name of the song or the dudes singing it. I know it's a gay song, but I've never given it enough thought to wonder whether or not it was the good kind of gay.
3(20.0%)
I always thought this song was only one guy. And one of them isn't black (or entirely at least). Who knew. Yeah, they're totally gay.
6(40.0%)
Shit, next thing you're going to try to tell me Color Me Badd was gay. I mean they were, but not Charles & Eddie gay.
3(20.0%)
No way, dude. They're singing about a girl. They say it over and over. And check out that beaver shot at 1:29.
3(20.0%)

renob423 -- if a regular monkey did try & walk upright to bridge the gap between the missing link & man, would the monkey be seen as a revolutionary and mimmiced by other monkeys, or would he be shunned by the rest of the monkeys and be all alone but upright

Probably a few of the monkeys would think he was a revolutionary and have t-shirts with crude portraits of him made up and think all the other monkeys thought they were edgy but all the other monkeys wouldn't give a shit.
2(13.3%)
Baby monkeys would all say they wanted to be like Link when they grew up, but we all know not all kids have what it takes to be a Missing Link but parent monkeys would encourage them anyway because hey, why crush your kids dreams?
1(6.7%)
Everybody would shun him during his lifetime and he'd be all frustrated and dark because of it but as soon as he died, all the monkeys would be like "hey, that standing guy was on to something. What a genius."
9(60.0%)
The Missing Link would hide his walking in shame, fearing the inevitable locker room beating and the other monkeys calling him a freak saying he thought he was better than them. Maybe someday he'd tell his girlfriend about it but she'd probably dump him.
3(20.0%)

subbes -- What would you do if your hair fell off?

Tattoo a big ass dragon or a halo or something awesome all over my head.
4(26.7%)
Different day, different wig. Preferably in Prostitute Pink.
3(20.0%)
All at once? In like a big showering hairstorm? Probably run around screaming shaking it off my body for a while.
5(33.3%)
You just HAD to rub it in, didn'tcha.
3(20.0%)

soarjubs -- Why do some black people hate white people because they think all white people hate black people?

If you thought somebody hated you, you'd probably hate them for it. It's why I hate Presbyterians.
2(13.3%)
Is this the title of the next Spike Lee joint? That guy is really running out of ideas.
7(46.7%)
They're only saying that they think all white people hate black people. They just hate white people. Just like the white people who hate black people. Nobody has a reason, but they had to make one up to seem rational or at the very least, reactionary.
2(13.3%)
All this racism is killin' me inside!
4(26.7%)

From Evan -- Why can't you buy broccoli in a can?

The Broccoli Farmers of America and the United Aluminium Brotherhood had a falling out YEARS ago.
3(20.0%)
Canned broccoli was discontinued in an effort to give train hobos cancer by robbing them of essential antioxidants.
3(20.0%)
Broccoli isn't a very space-efficient vegetable. In order to have a decent amount of broccoli in a can, the sucker would have to be the size of a pumpkin.
5(33.3%)
The same reason you can't get green bell peppers in a can: The Jews.
4(26.7%)

Bonus question for renob423 this week in reward for his concern over my telephone situation -- will there be polls after the apocolypse?

Yeah, but don't expect them up every week by noon. The lines at Kinkos or wherever are going to be obscene.
2(13.3%)
It could be like Costner in the Postman - I'd roam the countryside on horseback collecting questions and then coming back when I had them all together! Sure it's not the key to reviving society, but it's a start.
3(20.0%)
Everyone would put stones in the buckets next to whatver I put the answers on, whether they're written strips of old discarded junk mail, burned into scraps of wood, or carved in the ground with a stick.
6(40.0%)
Depends on the kind of apocalypse. If it's nuclear, someone will probably have to take the reins for me since I don't think anyone in my neighborhood will survive that.
4(26.7%)

Another bonus question, this one from soarjubs stemming from our recent conversation about asswipes who put bad tags on mp3s. It's going to be a write-in, even though I know how much that scares so many of you guys. -- Please submit the proper file name for "Beercan", which is the 8th track on Beck's album, "Mellow Gold":

Let's play Infectious Disease or Ikea Product!(NO CHEATING). Anisakiasis

Infectious Disease.
12(75.0%)
Ikea Product.
4(25.0%)

Dengue

Infectious Disease.
9(52.9%)
Ikea Product.
8(47.1%)

Mumsig

Infectious Disease.
4(23.5%)
Ikea Product.
13(76.5%)

Pertussis

Infectious Disease.
13(76.5%)
Ikea Product.
4(23.5%)

Kaustby

Infectious Disease.
5(29.4%)
Ikea Product.
12(70.6%)

Giardia

Infectious Disease.
11(64.7%)
Ikea Product.
6(35.3%)

Kolja

Infectious Disease.
3(18.8%)
Ikea Product.
13(81.2%)

Aneboda

Infectious Disease.
12(70.6%)
Ikea Product.
5(29.4%)

Agerum

Infectious Disease.
8(47.1%)
Ikea Product.
9(52.9%)

Klebsiella

Infectious Disease.
8(47.1%)
Ikea Product.
9(52.9%)

Marfan

Infectious Disease.
8(47.1%)
Ikea Product.
9(52.9%)

Koncis

Infectious Disease.
9(52.9%)
Ikea Product.
8(47.1%)

Kuru

Infectious Disease.
7(41.2%)
Ikea Product.
10(58.8%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

Tags: friday poll
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment