The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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It's Friday Poll Time!

Poll #854455 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

TWOFER!!! veejay -- In today's world of high-speed streaming video, does the internet have room for another "ate my balls" type fad?

I'm in ur blank blankin ur blank.
3(18.8%)
Isn't that essentially what Dane Cook is?
5(31.2%)
There's always room for more stupid internet crap. Just ask the dorks over at ytmnd.
4(25.0%)
There will never be anything as pure in its simplicity, that's for sure.
4(25.0%)

veejay -- Bonus Question: What the hell was that "ate my balls" stuff about?

Ball eating and the pop icons who love it.
0(0.0%)
The World Wide Web was but a babe. Our eyes were open and we were overwhelmed with opportunity. In the face of the challenge, we did what we knew was right: cockandball jokes.
4(25.0%)
Finally when we found something funny someplace, we didn't have to xerox it a thousand times for our friends to enjoy it. Pepper that with "everybody's a comedian" and you have the birth of a new genre.
3(18.8%)
What the hell else were we supposed to do with our geocities?
9(56.2%)

clockwatcher -- Why am I so tired?

With 8 hours at work, an hour or more building up to them, social obligations, quality television, chores and errands, there is practically no possible way for any of us to get the amount of sleep our bodies need.
5(31.2%)
The human brain, like automobiles and photocopiers, requires a "warmup" period. Yours may be longer than others.
4(25.0%)
It may have something to do with how you found last night's clothes in your hallway lined up like a trail of breadcrumbs.
4(25.0%)
Damned fluorescent lightbulbs.
3(18.8%)

tarpo -- Why hasn't the government renewed my work visa yet!?

Because the last thing America wants is English-speaking, upwardly mobile, self-reliant people who actually fill out the forms and follow the steps to work in the country legally.
6(37.5%)
We're sick and damn tired of Canadians coming into our country and stealing our jobs.
3(18.8%)
They're testing you. They want to see just how bad you want it, how long they can hold it over you, and what you'll eventually do.
1(6.2%)
In the area under DO NOT WRITE IN THIS SPACE, you wrote 'ok'.
6(37.5%)

friendship7 -- A friend of mine went to a tapas bar with an air cast on her foot just in case she ran into a certain "hiking guy" she saw on match.com to provide a convenient means of opening up a conversation. The male equivalent of this is?

"I work with retards. ... We've got this one kid, Mongo? He's got a forehead like a drive-in movie theater, but he's a good shit, so we don't bust his chops too much."
3(18.8%)
Dogs.
3(18.8%)
Metrosexuality. Dudes think talking about hair gel and shit will get us out of our bras.
3(18.8%)
I'm pretty sure everything men do in public is an "air cast" of some kind. Unless they're trying to lure unsuspecting women into their clutches, they're at home playing Madden.
7(43.8%)

renob423 -- what happened with the cocktail waitress at the tropicana?

After tipping and charming her all night, she invited you over to her friend's place. Hoping for a threesome, you went, listened to them bitch about their customers, and got stoned with them watching Adult Swim. You were better off at the tables.
6(40.0%)
According to the police report, a blunt trauma to the skull.
5(33.3%)
A four-hour, $175 courtship at the piano bar after her shift, 6 pumps of an awkward sexual encounter, limited post-coital conversation, and the mysterious absence of a wristwatch.
2(13.3%)
Heh. Like a cocktail waitress is talking to you.
2(13.3%)

eideteker -- Has anyone had a startling revelation vis-à-vis global politics and socioeconomics whilst listening to the incredibly relevant lyrics of Eddy Grant's "Electric Avenue"?

No.
9(56.2%)
It's clearly a comment on the blight of the poor in underdeveloped Banana Republics. Out in the street, out in the playground, they're going to rock down to Electric Avenue, but they'll have nothing to do once they get there but smoke the ganja.
3(18.8%)
It's 80's music. There's no message. Next thing you're going to try to tell me Funkytown is about the shifting racial demographics of inner cities.
3(18.8%)
There's more words than "We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue"? Whodathunkit.
1(6.2%)

ao -- If the Republicans manage to hold onto control of everything through 2008, how should I repay the Democrat asshats I've had to listen to for the past several years tell me how bad we're going to lose? If I'm going to reject political questions from the lib kids, I gotta put the kibosh on this one. I'd hate to see the currently funny poll devolve into tired 6-year old SHRUB IZ TEH HEETLER jokes. Bigfoot vs. Frankenstein's Monster.

Bigfoot.
7(43.8%)
Frankenstein's Monster.
9(56.2%)

sonicblue -- So wait, does Ikea model their design names after infectious diseases?

Nope. Infectious diseases are named after quality, inexpensive Sweedish furniture. Crazy, I know.
2(12.5%)
Considering how many Nobel prize winners are Scandanavian, I'm not surprised disease names sound so hooty.
5(31.2%)
Yeah, and Bath and Body Works names their scents after children's toys.
3(18.8%)
Coincidentally, the folks at Ikea and disease-namers take a Scrabble game and just dump it out on a table, randomly pulling letters together.
6(37.5%)

observacious -- Best Simpsons Treehouse of Horrors Segment:

Time and Punishment: "Donut? What's a donut? ... oh look, it's raining again."
2(13.3%)
Citizen Kang: "Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others!"
5(33.3%)
Clown Without Pity: "The toppings contain potassium benzoate."
2(13.3%)
The Shinning: "No TV and No Beer make Homer something something."
3(20.0%)
The Genesis Tub: "uh...but not at you, O holiest of gods, with the wrathfulness and the vengeance and the blood rain and the hey-hey-hey-it-hurts-me..."
2(13.3%)
The Devil and Homer Simpson: "So, you like donuts, eh? ... Well, have all the donuts in the world!"
1(6.7%)

subbes -- If you had $10 and 3 hours in Omaha, what would you do?

Pay somebody $10 to tell me I'm somewhere else.
3(21.4%)
I have a sinking suspicion there is more than one Go-Kart track in Omaha. $10 should buy me a spin or two.
1(7.1%)
Depending on how good a happy hour special I can find, between 3 and 5 beers.
7(50.0%)
Wait patiently for the information message that will tell me where my next clue is.
3(21.4%)

bobwhite -- Why won't the club stamp come off my hand?

I dunno, Bob. But the sign is pretty clear. Wash your hands before returning to work.
3(20.0%)
Because the only real way to get the club stamp off is by licking it.
2(13.3%)
I'd put money on you not trying really hard but wanting to have clubstamp remnants on your hand at work to remind people that you're still young and hip.
8(53.3%)
In an effort to go vegan, the club switched from chemical ink to blueberry juice. That shit STAINS, yo.
2(13.3%)

From Evan: Mulberry bush aside, would a monkey really chase a weasel?

Monkeys, like people, are always chasing tail.
3(20.0%)
No way. A monkey could nail a weasel with a dollop of poo from at least 25 feet.
4(26.7%)
Sure. I'd be willing to bet a monkey would also chase a mouse, an RC car, butterflies, frightened children, and other monkeys. No bush necessary.
7(46.7%)
If the internets are to be believed, all monkeys ever do is pee in their own mouths.
1(6.7%)

Keepin' it nerdy, folks. It's time for Star Wars Alien Race or Foreign Snack Food! Duvalin

Star Wars Alien Race.
6(46.2%)
Foreign Snack Food.
7(53.8%)

Sanyassan

Star Wars Alien Race.
5(45.5%)
Foreign Snack Food.
6(54.5%)

Nikto

Star Wars Alien Race.
8(72.7%)
Foreign Snack Food.
3(27.3%)

Torrone

Star Wars Alien Race.
4(36.4%)
Foreign Snack Food.
7(63.6%)

Weequay

Star Wars Alien Race.
8(72.7%)
Foreign Snack Food.
3(27.3%)

Kubaz

Star Wars Alien Race.
2(18.2%)
Foreign Snack Food.
9(81.8%)

Gulab Jamun

Star Wars Alien Race.
5(45.5%)
Foreign Snack Food.
6(54.5%)

Mandolato

Star Wars Alien Race.
6(54.5%)
Foreign Snack Food.
5(45.5%)

Krowki

Star Wars Alien Race.
6(50.0%)
Foreign Snack Food.
6(50.0%)

Kitonak

Star Wars Alien Race.
6(54.5%)
Foreign Snack Food.
5(45.5%)

Doraemon

Star Wars Alien Race.
8(72.7%)
Foreign Snack Food.
3(27.3%)

Ugnaught

Star Wars Alien Race.
4(44.4%)
Foreign Snack Food.
5(55.6%)

Jodekoeken

Star Wars Alien Race.
5(45.5%)
Foreign Snack Food.
6(54.5%)

Mantecol

Star Wars Alien Race.
9(75.0%)
Foreign Snack Food.
3(25.0%)

Nautolan

Star Wars Alien Race.
10(90.9%)
Foreign Snack Food.
1(9.1%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

Tags: friday poll
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