The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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It's Friday Poll Time!

akejmroafemoafkerfa stupid no poll editing areklafmeoai

Poll #933661 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

friendship7 -- Who would you rather have driving your bus on a Friday afternoon, Ender Wiggin, Victor Frankenstein, Henry Rollins, or Jackson the spades fanatic?

Ender Wiggin. I can think of a few buggers I'd like him to take down.
3(18.8%)
Victor Frankenstein. If you're going to put your life in someone's hands, best pick the one with experience playing god.
5(31.2%)
Henry Rollins. I'd rather have Henry Rollins drive my bus anytime, if yaknowhaddImean.
8(50.0%)
Jackson the spades fanatic. Of all the people listed here, he's probably the only one qualified to drive a bus.
0(0.0%)

observacious -- Live Free or Die Hard?

Aren't those pretty much the same thing? Those who Live Free tend to Die Hard, and those who don't Die Hard don't usually Live Free in the Tyler Durden sense of things.
7(43.8%)
There's no such thing as living free, man. We've all gotta pay the price someday, and that price is dying, as hard as that may be.
4(25.0%)
They're making another Die Hard movie? Sure, Bruce Willis gives me the tinglies, but come. on. I bet Kevin Smith is going to have to act his face off to play a chubby, bearded internet hacker.
4(25.0%)
Ok seriously with this new Die Hard movie. Did they make it about hackers so nerds can fantasize about going all Neo on John McClane?
1(6.2%)

sonicblue -- Beastie Boys: yay or nea?

Yay.
3(18.8%)
Beastie Boys: Yay. Preachy Causeism: Nea.
7(43.8%)
Beastie Boys: Yay. Scary vegan zombie skeletons: Nea.
3(18.8%)
Nea.
3(18.8%)

chrishaas -- Who is Anna Nicole's baby daddy?

Her dead gay son.
9(56.2%)
The regular Howard Stern.
4(25.0%)
Kimmy the Lesbian Assistant.
1(6.2%)
That scary Dracula she was boning.
2(12.5%)

absolutcalm -- Fuck, Marry, Kill, the Corpse Edition: Anna-Nicole Smith, Princess Di, Phyllis Diller?

Are you saying I can only fuck one of these corpses?
1(5.9%)
It seems I'll have to choose kill for Phyllis Diller.
5(29.4%)
Everybody would say to marry Princess Di, but I think the gal had enough marrying and could have used a good fuck. Just ask the Frog who killed her.
2(11.8%)
Fuck, Marry, Kill. Sounds like just about every relationship ever.
9(52.9%)

eideteker -- So wait, you announce the scores weekly for This or That, but who's been winning the Friday polls?

The word "cunt".
0(0.0%)
Jokes involving things going into or coming out of butts.
8(50.0%)
Racial slurs.
1(6.2%)
MISSPLED THINGS IN CAPSLOCK.
7(43.8%)

subbes -- I have my six month performance evaluation on Tuesday. Since this poll will be posted Friday: Best ways to recover/get back at them from a bad evaluation?

Begin composing your scathing retort, in which you acknowledge all of your workplace shortcomings, and expect to see the same level of scrutiny applied to your supervisor's "management skills" when the time is appropriate.
1(6.2%)
Whenever anyone asks how your day is going, answer using a scale of 1-5, but be sure not to give away too many 4's or 5's. 5's are reserved for truly outstanding days and you want to leave room for improvement.
4(25.0%)
Demonstrate your keen organization skills and ability to think outside the box by staying late and restructuring the entire filing system based upon whether or not a popular music song was written about that person's name.
3(18.8%)
Realize you just got a glowing performance review for doing little more than you would have if you were unemployed: post on LJ, doodle, maybe even a gtalk or two. All you had to do was get dressed and answer their phone the way they want.
8(50.0%)

renob423 -- where did everybody go? the poll seemed kind of short this week.

Polls tend to go through cycles of long and short based on the quality of questions and answers from the week before.
4(26.7%)
It appears the optimal poll posting time is between 11:30 and 12pm. Any earlier or later throws the whole thing off.
8(53.3%)
It must be that the more times I obsessively reload to see if new respondents or questions have come in, the more questions get written. I was on vacation that day.
2(13.3%)
Most weeks, just over half of the people who answer give a question. So really, it was just the right length.
1(6.7%)

pooplord -- Later today, I'm going to look at a 2BR/2BA apartment in Georgetown with eat-in kitchen, dishwasher, washer/dryer, restored hardwoods and crown moulding, etc. It is renting for less than $2000, some utils included. What is wrong with this apartment?

It's an eigth-floor walkup.
2(12.5%)
You're only renting half the apartment. You get one of the bedrooms and one of the bathrooms and share the kitchen and living room with the other tennant.
4(25.0%)
Considering how far from Georgetown it can be and still say the place is in "Georgetown", you may as well say I live in Georgetown.
8(50.0%)
There was that incident there about 30 years ago involving that chick choking on split pea soup or something like that. I hear the college got involved somehow.
2(12.5%)

coldblackncold -- In these trying economic times, where do the recent graduates with Bootyology degrees find work? Is it near the Philosophy Factory?

I hear Dr. Funkenstein is offering sweet internships for recent graduates.
1(6.2%)
Sure it's not what they had in mind when they chose their major, but Staples and Office Max are always looking for people to design new ergonomic desk chairs.
1(6.2%)
Yeah right. As if there's some "factory" where Philosophy majors can magically find work.
10(62.5%)
They'll do what everyone with a worthless degree and no real skills does: become a consultant.
4(25.0%)

From Evan: Why doesn't anything go right for The Dude?

The Dude's rug didn't just "pull the room together", it was a metaphor of his life becoming upheaved. All was right and balanced in the Dude's world until it was micturated upon by one of Jackie Treehorn's thugs.
6(42.9%)
He's got a rash, man.
3(21.4%)
He uses too many cuss words.
0(0.0%)
Walter is a bad influence on him. Most of the Dude's instincts are right and reactions are appropriate, but he lets Walter interfere too much.
5(35.7%)

This week, a man was arrested for charging into his upstairs neighbor's apartment brandishing a saber when he mistook the sounds of a porno for the sounds of a real live rape. Which of the following facts is most true:

Had something actually been going wrong in the apartment, the sword would only have ended up hurting him.
0(0.0%)
As he was running up the stairs he knew in his heart of hearts that this would be the moment he would be remembered for forever.
5(31.2%)
This guy rolls dice on a regular basis.
6(37.5%)
His mom still won't kick him out for this.
5(31.2%)

Also in the news, California is outlawing spanking as a method of diciplining children. Set your Future Helmets to 2019, upload the Sacramento Bee and tell me what the mom-on-the-street interview quote is in their "what should we do about these unruly teenagers" piece:

"I've put Jameson in time out for weeks now, but I still haven't gotten a Growth Report with straight smiley-faces from his Learning Environment!"
1(6.7%)
"I've had Maddie on the Flinstones Chewable Meds Morning/Noon/Night regimen and she's doing great. The Ritalin really gets her focused in the morning, the Prozac helps with the pressure and the shakes, and the Ambien lets her sleep at night."
4(26.7%)
"The government really should step in and set up a program to help these kids. They just aren't showing the proper respect for authority and I'm afraid without invervention they won't learn learning how to be responsible, mature adults."
5(33.3%)
"Even in my pre-pregnancy, I made sure to shield Piper from violence and negativity. What could have made him slap me and call me a stupid cow bitch?"
5(33.3%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

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