The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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It's Friday Poll Time!

Poll #1008061 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

Repeat question--twicketface -- What makes chili so groin-grabbingly delicious? Since I'm the wrong person to come up with reasons why someone would ever like chili, I asked the crowd for responses. Here's what we got:

htothem--I thought I was the only person that hates chili!
0(0.0%)
popespydie--The yummyness of spiced meat!
2(14.3%)
pantload--Mom's "chili" was undercooked kidney beans, burger meat and chili powder over flavorless white rice. With reflection and effort you can build your liking for chili to be about on par with cream of potato soup. I'm nearly there.
1(7.1%)
twicketface--It's like soup, but heartier. Hearty!
5(35.7%)
absolutcalm--The knowledge that something tastes so good for you now, will smell so bad for others later. Call it... gustatory Schadenfreude or Scheisenfreude?
6(42.9%)

htothem -- Now that they've built the Chipotle near my house, can I die happy?

Chipotle. We don't just fill tortillas, we fulfil lives.
1(7.1%)
You could have died happy before. Joy comes not from the Chipotle without, but from the Chipotle within.
3(21.4%)
Chipotle can't offer you happiness. But if you want guacamole, that's a $1.50
6(42.9%)
I'll die happy the day Chipotle enacts a rule where if you've been waiting on line for more than three minutes and haven't figured out which variation of "Giant Burrito" you want to order yet, you have to go back to the end of the line.
4(28.6%)

popespydie -- Movies: Are they getting better or are our standards falling?

Getting better: I can think of at least three movies that more than two of the people I know who saw them didn't think they totally blew.
1(7.1%)
Standards falling: Nobody has given me a good review of Ocean's 13 without saying it was at least better than that festering turd Ocean's 12.
8(57.1%)

pooplord -- Ren and Stimpy or Beavis and Butt-head? Before I go on a rant about the significance of each, or how wthout Ren & Stimpy there would never be the random chaos of ATHF or whatever those Tim & Eric clowns shit out; and without Beavis & Butthead we wouldn't have the blunt humor of Metalocalypse or even Family Guy, let's clarify this as Which was your favorite back in the day.

Ren and Stimpy.
5(38.5%)
Beavis and Butt-head.
8(61.5%)

coldblackncold -- It's Paris's world. We just live in it.

It's the Friday Poll. Ask a question.
4(28.6%)
Lather, rinse, repeat.
2(14.3%)
The 4th of July is on a Wednesday. What kind of bullshit is that.
6(42.9%)
It's not like I choose to eat macaroni and cheese. It's that all other times I've managed to resist it.
2(14.3%)

Let's try another "Use your other 9 fingers" write-in question! Frank Sinatra is to Old Blue Eyes as Paris Hilton is to:

pantload -- Which is worse, smelling someone else's burp or sneeze?

Burp. You're actually inhaling their stomach acids and the gasses from their digested food, and god knows what else is in people's stomachs.
6(46.2%)
Sneeze. If you're close enough to someone who sneezes to be able to smell the sneeze, just think about what other things that were just in their nose that are now in yours. In short: booger transfer.
7(53.8%)

absolutcalm -- If Paris Hilton is just PRETENDING to be stupid, what other basic foundations of reality are likely being faked?

Tom Cruise is just PRETENDING to be a raging closet homosexual alien worshipping freakbox because he knows his career can only live so much longer on the cocky-yet-hot-loveable-asshole typecast and he's got to stay in the public eye somehow.
1(7.1%)
Black people only PRETEND to like Man In Fat Lady Costume movies because they know white people won't buy tickets, so they can get together and have black people support meetings where they can discuss issues and challenges facing their community.
7(50.0%)
The Dove Campaign for Beauty is only PRETENDING to try improving girls' self esteems. In reality, they put regular women in fashion mags directly next to supermodels so girls keep thinking their normal bodies are big fat whale bodies.
4(28.6%)
The mouthbreathers who work at CVS are only PRETENDING to be incompetent as part of a nationwide plan to boost sales at the website.
2(14.3%)

eideteker -- What do I need to include for my upcoming housewarming party?

Punch & pie.
2(14.3%)
A "buy me one random dish, pot or glass from the Salvation Army" scavenger hunt-style contest.
7(50.0%)
A collection bowl for your security deposit.
3(21.4%)
A cash prize for the first person to yam in your new toilet.
2(14.3%)

renob423 -- are the monkeys trained yet? and how come there is never a this or that anymore?

We thought we trained them to do it, but they just sniff their fingers after they touch their butts on their own, and I stopped doing them months ago and nobody noticed.
1(8.3%)
Trying to get them to rub their chins in thought resulted in the monkeys chewing their fingernails or thinking if they pointed at their mouth they got a treat, and there's only so many combinations of mostly unknown things I can come up with.
1(8.3%)
Now every time that standard "da-na-na-na, da-na-na-na, da-na-na-na-NAAAAAAAAAA" ring goes off, the monkeys wave their hands in the air like they just don't care, and it was taking up way too much time.
3(25.0%)
The training is in full swing for Captain Velveteen McJoggingsuit and Lady Parasol Von Rufflepants, and people seemed like they were getting as tired of it as I was.
7(58.3%)

friendship7 -- What's the worst part of moving?

The DMV/Post Office/Local Government Tax Office.
4(28.6%)
Packing.
4(28.6%)
Unpacking.
1(7.1%)
Realizing you just paid money to move things you haven't used or looked at since you last moved.
5(35.7%)

Sent from his DingleBerry™ Wireless Handheld: soarjubs -- Stick a ___________ in me, I'm done!

cap on my head, a diploma in my hand, and congratulate the stick-to-it-iveness
1(7.1%)
bookmark in that page and get a glass of warm milk
4(28.6%)
new nameplate on my door and wish you had access to all those company secrets
4(28.6%)
few Excedrin and a gallon or so of water
5(35.7%)

From Evan: What can't I do with my XboX360?

Bring it bowling. You can't rent it shoes, or buy it a fucking beer.
4(28.6%)
Tiptoe through a meadow.
2(14.3%)
Snort lines off it's ass.
5(35.7%)
Lessee...play games, rent movies, download...um, files, and talk to your friends. As soon as it can feed you, it's all you're gonna need.
3(21.4%)

Since the world is yet again proven to be incapable of running itself, seeing as someone, somewhere thinks it's a good idea for that bleating blowhard Rosie O'Donnell to be the new host of TPIR, it is the duty of the Pollketeers to set things right and choose an actual, viable candidate for the job:

Tony Danza. Sad news, you overbid.
5(41.7%)
Ian Ziering. But his stage name will be Steve Sanders.
1(8.3%)
Sanjaya!
1(8.3%)
Will Arnett. Period.
5(41.7%)

And as much as I hate myself for perpetuating more Rosie news, two men are being considered for her View seat: Anthony from Sex and the City and Ross the less-fat Intern.

This explains why Rosie couldn't last long on the show. Clearly, the only people who can speak a woman's perspective are people who want to have sex with men. Maybe if she had the proper thirst for cock, she'd have stuck around.
2(15.4%)
It's a show where they talk about the news and relevant issues and stuff. It's not like they need a journalist or whatever, they need someone to fill the loud, overbearing and unqualified slot.
1(7.7%)
The View audience is made up of women who have only ever seen gay men on TV--they're not really men, they're women with penises! They love shopping and gabbing with their girlfriends, so they totally understand womens' concerns!
8(61.5%)
The other broads liked having someone all big and hairy next to them at the table to make them look prettier. Anthony's sure got hairy down, and if they can reverse what Ross did on Celebrity Fit Club, they'll all look nice and thin.
2(15.4%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

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