The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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It's Friday Poll Time!

Another Friday, another 10am - 2pm meeting. Oy.

Poll #1097828 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

observacious -- Sexiest Man Alive? Matt Damon looks like any of a number of guys. Explain how he is substantively sexier than, say, his near doppelganger Dylan Bruno? (See image 5 of 5)

In order to hire enough models fill the countless pages of ads in fashion magazines and Abercrombie catalogs, the national preference for male attractiveness must be set to "bland".
3(25.0%)
Because you had to image link this "Dylan Bruno" fellow but we all know who Matt Damon is. Remember: nothing is sexier than fame.
2(16.7%)
After disqualifying the freaky Scientologists, the pussy-whipped deadeyed nanny, boys younger than the average People subscribers' sons, and anyone who's been in rehab over the past 18 months, he was the only male celebrity left.
5(41.7%)
It was to make us feel better about ourselves. He's hot for sure, but in that "didn't I go to college with that guy?" sort of way. If the Sexiest Man Alive looked as unattainable as Matt Damon actually is, nobody could masturbate to him.
2(16.7%)

htothem -- What do I want for Xmas? According to the folks over at Yahoo! Answers (the UK & Ireland Edition), you want:

Nail Polish! It ROCKS!
0(0.0%)
For my family to stop fighting. Not for a day, but for the rest of my life at least. It upsets me so much to have them act like they hate each other. It would be the greatest Christmas if they would start treating each other with love & respect.
3(27.3%)
World peace, oh and my house cleaned from top to bottom!!
4(36.4%)
A year's worth of free drink and food for myself and mates at the pub of my choice. Charles, "That Cheeky Lad"
4(36.4%)

absolutcalm -- You are now in the year *2020* and you have to make up a hilarious, nostalgic Friday Poll question for 90s to 2000s sucky-to-medocrie saturday morning cartoons.... what do you do? What. Do you. Do.

Once upon a time cartoons were shown before noon on Saturday morning instead of after midnight on Saturday night. How were all the tweenage actors of old getting jobs back then?
2(16.7%)
how cum the kids on invader zim never noticed the new green kid in class? did you ever watch shows with cousin toothy? did the brian ever make a lazer wapon that worked? who thought the criptkeeper would make a good cartoon?
0(0.0%)
Alienate anyone born after 1982 participating in the poll that day by posing a Snorks/Gummi Bears slash fic scenario.
6(50.0%)
Nice try. There was no such thing as a sucky-to-mediocre Saturday Morning Cartoon from 1995-2000. They were totally immemorable (Waynehead?), ruled (Animaniacs and all spinoffs, Superhero cartoons), or weren't cartoons (Power Rangers).
4(33.3%)

calamine_tea -- Via my friend astounded: What does the phrase "succotash wish" mean? Where does it come from? I've heard it in two songs (Dee-Lite and Alien Ant Farm) but can't seem to find a meaning for it anywhere. I always thought the Dee-Lite line was "my supper dish, my supper dish waits". Whaddyaknow.

It sounds like it would be an exciting side dish, but it's just lima beans jazzed up with (delicious certainly not jazzy) corn. A succotash wish sounds good when you say it but turns out to be boring crappy frozen vegetables.
0(0.0%)
Succotash is a Native American word, so maybe a Succotash Wish is what those chodes who buy dream catchers and wolf t-shirts are doing every time they try to pass themselves off as Native American.
6(50.0%)
It's what you get to do if you meet a genie whose schtick is to only grant wishes for items that were available in the Shop-Rite frozen foods section for $0.59 in 1986.
1(8.3%)
Like other weird sayings my grandmother used, like "brown as a berry" or "happy as a clam", it only means something to members of the WWII generation, who if alive, either they forgot what it means or are incapable of posting it on the internet.
5(41.7%)

eideteker -- This is a placeholder for when I come back next week with a totally killer question for the 30th.

This is a placeholder for the most clever answer to your totally killer question for the 30th.
3(25.0%)
This is a placeholder for the turd joke answer to your totally killer question for the 30th.
5(41.7%)
This is a placeholder for the flippantly racist answer to your totally killer question for the 30th.
1(8.3%)
This is a placeholder for the answer to your totally killer question for the 30th that I didn't think was all that funny but still gets picked the most.
3(25.0%)

bfirrera -- not a question...just a suggestion. in the rice krispie treats, for however much the recipe calls for put in 3/4 rice krispies and 1/4 fruity pebbles. A friend did this last year and I wouldn't want them any other way now. Delicious! I usually add those puffy sprinkle things in little shapes, but this I'll have to try. Snap, Crackle & Pop vs. the Keebler Elf:

Snap and Crackle hold the old man down, and Pop gives him a little of his patented curb action.
6(50.0%)
The Keebler Elf would not only beat those three punks senseless, but he'd arrange their limp unconscious bodies into compromising poses before he left them to be discovered by the Cookie Cop.
6(50.0%)

subbes -- Why do the cats only sit on me when it's hot in the room, and never when it's cold and I could do with a footwarmer?

If cats gave you the sort of attention you want when you want it, they wouldn't be cats.
7(58.3%)
Think about it from the cat's perspective: when the room is hot, they're using you as a body cooler. When it's already cold in the room, why would they go and sit on the coldest thing around?
1(8.3%)
Cats are fully aware of the disparity between their limitless intentions & their limited effectiveness. Until they are able to make a hallucinogen forcing you to do their bidding, i.e. carpeting the walls, you will merely suffer foot discomfort.
0(0.0%)
You're the asshole that puts plants in the house they can't eat or climb. Tit for tat, lady.
4(33.3%)

renob423 -- how come htothem asks questions 5 days a week, but doesn't always ask a poll question? is there really a highway of souls? how are you gonna live at 40? and what the hell was wrong with joe?

It goes back to the lesson from a few weeks ago: just because there's space to write a question doesn't mean you have a question worth writing.
6(50.0%)
There's a movie called Carnival of Souls. Is that what you're babbling about?
3(25.0%)
Picture it, 2018: after I get fired for using the company thought-uplink for the Friday Poll, I go on a bender of epic proportions on Earl Grey tea, the only legal drug in the United Continents of Arabia. You may not call it a life, but it's living.
3(25.0%)
Classic victim of nature vs. nurture. As well as he was raised, as loving his parents, as thorough his schooling, there was no avoiding his destiny. A destiny that he always knew would end up catalogued on page C17 of the Las Vegas Sun.
0(0.0%)

coldblackncold -- OH NO WHY IS ANIMALS ON MY FACE?!

HALLO! REMOVE MEAT FROM FACE.
4(33.3%)
UR FACE IS COOLEST SPOT IN HOT ROOM.
2(16.7%)
IS NOT REAL ANIMALS IS CRACKERS JUST EAT THEM.
5(41.7%)
HAY I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT THOSE BERRIES!
1(8.3%)

Last night while at Target, I watched a fellow customer discuss with a sales clerk the pros and cons of a certain 2GB memory stick on sale. I chimed in and said this was quite a bit of memory, and asked him how much he thought he'd need. Unsure, he called up his friend to ask, and reported he'd need 240,000 gigabytes of memory in order to download and transfer new SOCOM maps to his PS2. Instead of assuring him that the 2GB stick would be more than sufficient for this purpose and that his friend must be mistaken, what should I have told him?

What you're looking for is a KGB stick. I think they sell them over at Best Buy. You probably want to get two just in case.
2(18.2%)
The Target over on Rt. 50 just got a shipment in from 2057. They should have the stick you need.
1(9.1%)
Just buy the 2GB one, it's cheaper. When you get home, you can expand it to the same capacity as a 240,000 gig stick if you just take a flat-head screwdriver and pry the little USB tab things a little wider.
5(45.5%)
The G on the package means it's a 2 Googlibyte stick. That's like, ten thousand gigabytes, so yeah. This is the right size.
3(27.3%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

Tags: friday poll
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