subbes -- Things to make a barbecue bearable?
Meat, mayonnaise salads, beer...what's unbearable about a barbeque?
You mean physically? Dude, most big grills have wheels and stuff you can push them around with. You don't have to carry it or anything.
Face painters, maybe one of those portrait sketch artists that draws you with a big head and a little body, a lanyard-weaving station, bocce ball, and a pool.
Find the 9 to 11 year olds with DSes and let them try to beat you at Mario Kart. Their parents will think you're involved and like their kids; the kids will think you're the most awesome grownup ever.
absolutcalm -- If there's an American Version of "The Machine Girl (NSFW)" Don't get spooked by the rating, this is fairly mild stuff. I wouldn't watch it in front of my boss (or YouTube at all for that matter) but you wouldn't get fired for it's Evil Deadesque nature. NSFW: FV. how can we take the basic concept of awesome killer school girl with robotic gun arm fighting Yakuza ninjas and suckify it to all shit?
Blow the first 74 minutes on her normal life with her normal family, how she was trying to help the ninjas before she was attacked, how ostracized she felt afterwards, and how she had to finally accept herself in order to dole out justice.
Since all races, nationalities, cultures, and ideologies can't be portrayed as villains in American films without raising a protest or other "outrage" *except* one, her hand will be removed by and she must chase down White Supremacist Neo-Nazis.
Whoever wrote the adapted screenplay didn't bother to watch the entire movie, they figured the trailer was enough to figure it out. Unfortunately, he was overly inspired by the Power Ranger shown at 1:18, and the entire mood of the piece is lost.
mac -- Long time reader, first time submitter. I'm heading to the land of misfit toys tomorrow...what crazy american tales should i tell my extended family this time?
My friends and I were all on this bar crawl, and we were going to go into this bar, but when we saw they had a cover charge, we decided not to go in after all. The bouncer yelled at us and actually tried to pick a fight for us not wanting to go in.
In America, they sell these
Not a story so much, but since you'll be having summertime weather down there, I recommend you start up a new Christmas Day Beirut/Flip Cup Tournament tradition.
It's been a pretty crazy-story free year, so maybe a few of the classics will be in order. "So there's this guy, Bob White..."
observacious -- What last minute celebrity deaths will severely screw with people's 2007 death pool results? (For deaths to date see the Dead People Server.)
Nobody is surprised to see reports of Larry King's death on the morning of Dec. 29, but when what would have been a mere blip on the scoreboards turns out to be a ritual double-suicide with James Lipton, one team is rocketed into 1st place.
Found floating face down in a toilet surrounded by downed towel racks and splashes of water, Jamie Lynn Spears is pronounced dead on Dec. 27. We all expected Britney to drive off a cliff, we didn't expect her sister to horn in on her racket.
After a Happy Christmas in the Ritchie estate, Madonna wakes up on Boxing Day for a spot of yoga. While extending out into Warrior 2, she manages to slit her throat on one of the veins poking out of her upper arm. Nobody saw that one coming.
The news hits on Sunday morning that Leonardo Cimino, the guy who played "Scary German Guy" in Monster Squad passed away gently in his sleep, benefiting no one. Who realized that guy's still alive?
renob423 -- why should i be penalized? i always have a question, usually 3 or 4. And at least two or three of those three or four are terrible and unworkable. whats the best old school sierra game? Stop reading here. is uncle Lucky the same guy as uncle Astroman? will either want dessert at x-mas? how do you spell diz-urt?, mine doesn't look right.
King's Quest games.
Liesure Suit Larry games.
Gabriel Knight games.
eideteker -- Where will you go when it all ends? And here I thought I was going to have to slam you for a bad question right before Christmas.
If I don't get destroyed by the bomb or fall in the inevitable struggle to collect supplies and escape the major cities, I'll probably hole up in an abandoned house on the coast, living off the ocean and occasionally fighting off scavengers.
Just like every other schmuck on the East Coast, I'll be getting back on 95 for a few hours of pointlessly changing lanes in an attempt to somehow get ahead of everyone else.
A sort of Valhalla where I can do all the badass things I've wanted to in my life, from telling people off to punching them square in the face with no consequences and the exact thing I need to save my ass shows up right when and where I need it.
Straight home. Our days of hitting a bar for one last beer are over, my friends. It's 12:30 and I've got stuff to do in the morning.
coldblackncold -- In the spirit of the holiday season: What is that? Some sort of massager? Warning: In-joke answers to follow:
If it was up your butt you'd know it.
Suuuuuuuure. Give a sushi set to the Asian guy.
20,000 Genuine Ass Pennies.
htothem -- Does anyone really handwash their clothes?
Christ, I don't even iron.
I found a service online where I mail my clothes to Croatia and pay a little old woman to handwash my delicates for me for eleven cents a pound. It's way less of a hassle and the clothes get washed faster than if I waited until I got around to it.
My mom. To this day, she still has a big blue Rubbermaid tub that she puts in the kitchen sink to wash her delicates with warm water and a capful of Woolite. It's no use telling her about the Delicates cycle. She's convinced it will ruin her stuff.
Why do some of my clothes, particularly those that aren't white, have that tags say "Only Non-Chlorine Bleach When Necessary"? Who bleaches colored clothes? What kind of risky shit is that?
Are you still stressing the arrival of or experiencing unpleasantness from one or more of your online gift purchases?
All online ordering has gone off without a hitch this year.
Like every year, everything has gone fine except that one pesky annoying fucked up order.
Given how much trouble I have with ordering presents online, I really have to reconsider whether shopping in a store isn't the lesser hassle.