htothem -- So there's this guy, Bob White, and one time he...
came over on a snow day with a copy of Empire Strikes Back in hand. We all snotted that we'd seen it a thousand times before, when with a grin, he slid the tape out of the sleeve to show the real movie inside: Hollywood Hot Tubs 4.
left early in the morning after a big party we had the night before (as is his custom to do), leaving a note behind that simply read: "Bob fell out of couch".
started a daily game back at musicmaker where he would photocopy the day's Family Circus enlarged with the writing covered up and distribute copies around the office for everyone to fill in the blanks.
brought this blonde chick none of us had ever met before to a bar crawl. It seemed like a pretty bold first-introduction move for a new girlfriend-type, but it worked out pretty well - she didn't get scared off.
absolutcalm -- What's the most useless giftcard you've gotten this year?
popespydie -- Seeing as there is going to be a new Ghostbusters video game, as well as Princess Bride video game, what is the next 80's movie to cross over into gaming?
Vacation. In the style of Oregon Trail, load up your clan in the Family Truckster with all the food, clothes and supplies you'll need for the inevitable breakdown. See the World's 2nd Largest Ball of Twine and play the Hunt Aunt Edna minigame.
Grand Theft Auto: Do The Right Thing.
Innerspace. Journey through Martin Short as you solve puzzles, fight off germs and viruses, and find yourself either limited or enhanced by Short's reactions to your presence or other situational modifiers based on his behavior.
Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Follow in the footsteps of Paul "Pee Wee" Rubens as you find your way across America in search of your beloved bicycle and the basement of the Alamo.
observacious -- Lynne Spears’ parenting booking has been delayed. What nuggets of maternal wisdom is this denying the public?
Childrens' short attention spans are ironically juxtaposed with an innate ability to hold grudges. Keep the reasons why they love you fresh in their minds & avoid lingering hostility by choosing rewards & options which provide instant gratification.
Having a baby is the best gift God can give you. A mother never feels lost, alone, or unloved; she can always rely on her children for the unconditional acceptance and life-binding dependence that no other relationship can provide.
Raising your child in an insulated environment free of risk limits the child's ability to identify dangerous situations as they grow up and leaves them without the tools with which to survive the future hazards of life.
Boundaries lead to temptation. Children raised in a permissive household aren't allured by "bad" things if negativity is not assigned to or they are restricted from such behaviors. Few things are more appealing to children than "forbidden fruit".
subbes -- Crazy flyers stuck on telegraph poles by homeless people. I'll show you my "burnt slap up" tales of dystopia if you show me yours. Not so much crazy theories on flyers, but crazy theories nonetheless:
There's a lady in Georgetown who decorates her shopping cart with intricate tales of how Dan Quayle and the Armenians stole her son. The intarwebs couldn't find a photo of her for me.
The 2004 Thailand tsunami was nuclear bombs detonated by the US underwater, and Hurricane Katrina was Russia's response. You see, the Cold War is still ongoing, but we've had to be more covert about it. A cab driver told me so.
eideteker -- I really hate my job, but I adore my boss. How should I spend my last days at the office?
Creating a detailed document outlining the steps of processes that you had to invent out of necessity but nobody else in the office knows how to do or is even aware they exist. Your boss is gonna need that shit when you're gone.
Convince him/her to take an extra long lunch (including a margarita or two) to spend some quality time together. As much as you swear you'll keep in touch, you know you won't since you don't have anything else in common other than this shitty job.
Resisting the temptation to deposit little work bombs in random unmarked file folders like all unpleasant things you were supposed to do months ago but never got around to because they suck and you've known you were going to quit for a while now.
Composing a scathing exit letter explaining everything that's wrong with the company as a whole, and how it will fail miserably if they do not give a raise and more decisive power to your boss, the one person that makes the place functional.
renob423 -- why would you make king's quest an answer over police quest or space quest? kings quest was lame. who is more unlikable even when they are right bill maher or john stossell? up in flames or frozen solid? ever take a dump in a cooler? snakeskin shoes ru?
Timer vacation monkey clock duck lobster walking gentle sleetstorm tuba lotto glider jumping fish brain eyeball aluminum hinge plate dressing call table igloo square royal disappointment butt zebra cleanser.
Rubber owl wipe lily vitamin church spider measure building idea partner carpenter forest ring rock wattage fish shepherd gerbil bell July sparrow pickle rose bear.
Berry foreman clerk simmer ashen grenade bowling little soapy birdhouse drummer garden green singing ray aloe ending wily winking elephant shin glass bark.
School pill flag tiny deaf rain adding bayside Ford bridge stone knee new wading pincher spilling pipes burning lamb gill lane scabs stuck visceral ham lotion.
coldblackncold -- As part of her celebrity redemption, Jamie Lynn Spears's agent should be angling for a big Disney update of My Fair Lady. What would the advertising slogan be so it relates to today's illiterate youth? Taking the Trailer out of the Girl?
Money can't buy everything.
Reaching to get above your raising.
Class isn't always taught in school.
Nature can use some nurturing.
Which term should be retired as of Monday evening, permanently condemned to 2007, never to be uttered again:
_____busters (i.e. "doorbusters", "webbusters").
Did you or someone in your family either receive two or learn they'll have to return the digital camera frame they got someone for Christmas because someone else beat them to it?