pooplord -- What's the funniest name of an actual, existing documentary about the colon? Bonus points if it starts out "The Colon: ..." or "Your Colon: ..." I can't imagine there won't be awesome names, but in case there aren't, you can make some up.
htothem -- I heard the Vern Troyer sex tape looks like "the woman giving birth." What mental image could be more disturbing? I can't possibly imagine. But what if they described her sucking his dick?
It looks like she's blowing up a pool toy.
It looks like she's drinking out of a hamster bottle.
Remember Push Pops? Yeah.
It looks like her son got bitten by a snake in his bathing suit area.
Vern Troyer and that chick decided to record themselves having sex, presumably to watch it later and either jerk off or get in the mood for more sex.
Vern gets off on feeling dainty.
Whatsherface has a Garganta fantasy.
They wanted to see how they could improve their technique on what they call "The Mountain Climber".
They just got a new wide-angle lens.
THREEFER!!! eideteker -- Don't call it a comeback: Who's been there for years, unnoticed by us, the public?
That singer/acoustic guitar guy my co-worker likes. You know he's unemployed, but his sort of hippieish but-not-in-a-dirty-or-mom-threatening way persona makes you not think about how he'd mooch off you for weeks if you dated him.
Any band that used to fill arenas that's now happy to have passers-by at state fairs.
Jerry Springer. Yes, he's still got a show.
eideteker -- What celebrity would you MOST like to be stuck in a closet with?
[celebrity MOST likely to get us out of said closet].
[celebrity I'd MOST like to have sex with].
[celebrity who seems to be funny and fun to be with, but not some overly try-y type like Robin Williams].
eideteker -- What celebrity would you LEAST like to be stuck in a closet with?
observacious -- What will the new guy in my office throw a hissy fit about next? (Hint: This is his first real job. One previous fit focused on how "it's so not fair!" that he was asked to include data on a spreadsheet but didn't know where to find it.)
"If they're gonna say we have a casual dress policy in the summer, how can they go and tell us we can't wear sandals? I mean, yeah they look like flip-flops, but they're leather. What's the point? Why even call it 'casual' dress at all?"
"I can't believe it. When the IT guy came around to do those new software installs, he started giving me shit about my chat client and the mp3s I put on the network drive. Mind your own computer, dude. It's none of your business what's on mine."
"Seriously? A 9am meeting? I don't get in until 9! If they're gonna make me come in early for this meeting, they better not give shit for leaving early, that's all I'm saying."
"They got all pissed off at me for not making a copy of the report for the CEO. Hello? I emailed it out to everybody. You could have printed it just as well as any of us. I know he's the boss and all, but it's like I have to babysit him."
ao125 -- Why are people so eager to re-capture the Clinton era with another 'crat in the 'house? It's just another huge mess that someone would have to clean up later anyway. We've been over this. You haven't participated in the poll for a while, but the no-politics rule remains. However, in the spirit of your question, please complete this sentence: I would vote for Satan himself it it meant [thing that was around when Clinton was president] would come back.
New episodes of Seinfeld, but starring Clinton-era cast and by Clinton-era writers.
Looking at Katie Holmes and not having to think "oh, that poor girl."
All the snow days. When the Federal Government shuts down, the entire DC metropolitan area pretty much shuts down as most workplaces have a "do as the feds do" snow day policy. Clinton gave us the day when there was just a threat of snow.
coldblackncold -- Why were you not involved in the new Subway "Reuben" commercial? Or, at the very least, Mr. Cuckold, The Artist Formerly Known as Chozi? (Oh, and this one will make no sense to the casual reader but feel free to answer anyway. You may get it right.) This is what I imagine renob feels like with his Uncle Pumpkin questions.
Paul Lynde would have sued the shit out of me.
Most people aren't half as drunk when they go to Subway.
Because then the sandwich would be called the "Rueben! Reuben!!"
Commercials can't handle The Funny.
absolutcalm -- What's with that guy who breaks the Urinal Rules and goes and stands RIGHT NEXT TO ME in a 5 stall set, with every single other urinal unoccupied? There should be a fucking law.
He saw the first urinal was empty, and wanted to walk as little as possible before and after his piss. It's your fault for choosing the 2nd stall instead of the 3rd.
If we make a law about urinal proximity, can we make one about stall-to-stall conversations while we're at it?
He wants to give the impression that he doesn't care about nudity or any of our square "societal rules". Pissing is pissing, man. We all do it, why should we be all territorial? In nature, animals just piss wherever they want. Humans are animals, ya know.
He really went into the bathroom to have a little bit of private time. Maybe take a nap, maybe rub one out, maybe just take a ferocious shit. Whatever it was, he did what he had to do to get you out of there as fast as possible.
renob423 -- why do classic rock stations play the same damn shit every day? did styx, steve miller, & queen all only write 1 song. and yesterday nirvana was on, when did they become "classic" enough to get on the dinosaur station? at least start with the beastie boys
Because that's what radio stations do, and it's why nobody listens to them anymore.
Hell, according to the Oldies stations, there were only about 25 songs written between 1955 and 1969.
The 80's was virtually free of music that would fit into the Classic Rock mold, causing a chasm between 1978 and 1992. Even radio stations realize the need to refresh their rotation from time to time, and Grunge was the next thing to qualify.
Speaking of Oldies stations, it bothers me when they play songs from Billy Joel's An Innocent Man
. Yes, many of the songs sound like oldies, but they're not. You gonna play Winehouse now?
Best small-step-for-man technological marvel of the past 5ish years:
You can now carry a 19" monitor in one hand.
My iPod has a bigger hard drive than my computer did 5 years ago.
I can easily email files larger than 1MB. And in case that's not enough, I can carry around 4 gigs in my pocket.
I get frustrated when a web page takes longer than a second or two to load.