The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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It's Friday Poll Time!

Why is there always this hugeass poll on my friends list every Friday??

Poll #1225686 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

eideteker -- Whose death would do the most to make the world a better place?

George Lucas.
7(43.8%)
Eddie Murphy. The man doesn't seem to know he should stop.
3(18.8%)
The dipshit on the Arlington County board who decided it was a good idea to put a raised concrete walk thing right in the middle of the left turn lane leading onto my street.
4(25.0%)
The Geico gecko. Yes, I know he's not real, but some sort of ceremonial funeral would be a nice gesture.
2(12.5%)

eideteker -- What celebrity would you "switch teams" for? Rather than choose between four chicks I think are hot, you can provide your own answer on this one. Ya know, if you're not too hung over to type.

eideteker -- How do you find the time?

I look at my wrist.
3(20.0%)
I have become disturbingly comfortable in a dirty bathroom.
6(40.0%)
You take the number that the little hand is pointing to and it's the hour. Then look at where the big hand is to figure out the minutes.
2(13.3%)
Inane. Not worth 4 answers.
4(26.7%)

eideteker -- What's the greatest "musical question" of all time?

eideteker -- Are multiple questions ok if they're not terribly inane?

Yes.
8(53.3%)
No.
7(46.7%)

absolutcalm -- If all the actors to play Batman battled to the death on a deserted Island in nothing but ripped camo pants, who would be the second to last to die? Assuming Christian Bale is the last to die since he obviously won the battle:

Keaton: Kilmer & Clooney are mired in a herculean wrestling match. Bale is struggling to find a chink in Adam West's freaky old man strength. Keaton, meanwhile, is standing in a menacing pose, shouting to no one in particular, "YOU WANNA GET NUTS?"
3(18.8%)
Kilmer: In the battle for the Ultimate Batman, the other four just forgot that he was even in the running. After Bale finished up with the memorable Batmen, he looks at Kilmer and says "oh yeah..."
5(31.2%)
Clooney: Keaton & Kilmer decide to team up against Bale in the in the Relevant/Irrelevant matchup. Clooney's feeling his oats after taking down Adam West, but didn't expect to find Bale in such a bloodied frenzy after tearing two has-beens in half.
3(18.8%)
Adam West: Everybody figured, eeh. I don't have to risk my starting lineup on that guy.
5(31.2%)

observacious -- Will I ever get above a the 98% Expression Potential on My Word Coach? It's been weeks!

Don't worry, you'll do gooder soon.
2(13.3%)
You can never get more than 98 or 99 percent. It's like calling for a 100% chance of rain - there's always a chance it won't rain, and there's always be a time when you're fishing for the right word but you can't think of it.
4(26.7%)
"Will I ever achieve greater than 98% Expression Potential" would have been more of a 99%er's phrasing of that question. No wonder you're lagging.
5(33.3%)
Keep playing. It's like any other trivia game. You'll memorize all the answers soon enough.
4(26.7%)

htothem -- A "millenial" at my office asked, "Why are they being so strict about the attendance policy?" So, why?

They should be working on the clusterfuck that is the Finance department, but they know that's a battle they won't win, so they focus on something easy and winnable that they can feel good about themselves for.
2(13.3%)
Because they're old and out of touch and don't realize that the world has changed since the time the 9-5 system was created. People work harder in less time, and because of emails and stuff, work on their personal time. But they just don't get it.
4(26.7%)
It's to make sure you know your place in the office hierarchy. Sure they trust you with computers and writing proposals and putting copy on the website, but you have to be reminded that you're the child and they're the parent in this relationship.
6(40.0%)
If those nosy bitches in Marketing worried about their own shit and not what everybody else is doing, we wouldn't have this problem.
3(20.0%)

pooplord -- Best sitcom theme song from any era? Fresh Prince may not count as it seems to have an unfair advantage, IMHO.

Frasier.
1(6.2%)
Golden Girls.
6(37.5%)
Cheers.
6(37.5%)
Diff'rent Strokes.
3(18.8%)

coldblackncold -- What else does Jesse Jackson want to do to Barack Obama? Were the sly winks and dropped pencils not enough to get his attention? Is "on the down low" the next fist bump? Is Barack Obama the black Nathan Lane?

Putting "on the down low" and "fist bump" in the same sentence gives me a horrible flashback of something I saw on 4chan.
1(6.2%)
Maybe he's been watching too much Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. Apparently you haven't truly enjoyed the essence of something until you've eaten its balls.
2(12.5%)
It's politics. You can't just come out and say you want to caress his flawless skin or gaze into his dreamlike eyes. Everything has to be in code. But can you blame him? That Barack Obama is one handsome fella. Edwards, schmedwards.
7(43.8%)
According to The Friday Poll Community, nearly 80% of respondents incorrectly guessed Nathan Lane's religion. Maybe you're on to something.
6(37.5%)

subbes -- Surgical "interventions" that really aren't necessary

Calf Implants.
7(43.8%)
Toe Shortening.
2(12.5%)
3(18.8%)
Any surgery that involves relocating fat from one area of the body to another.
4(25.0%)

popespydie -- What is your "crave food" that you just have to have?

Macaroni & Cheese.
7(50.0%)
Alouette spread on a baguette.
1(7.1%)
Chips Ahoys.
1(7.1%)
A bologna and American cheese sandwich on white bread with yellow mustard.
5(35.7%)

Fine, then what's your must-have crave food, smartypants?

renob423 -- how many other people are all those office workplace refferences and questions totally lost on?

They sail right over my head.
3(20.0%)
I'm either in an office now or have been in an office before. I know exactly what they mean.
12(80.0%)

renob423 -- is it really that catty and does anyone ever tell anyone else to go fuck themselves? & do yall just do whatever on the computer half the day?

Nobody ever tells anyone else to go fuck themselves. As much fun as that would be, the consequences wouln't be worth it.
3(20.0%)
If we ever told someone to go fuck themselves, we wouldn't have anything to talk about. Without the catty bullshit, it's all very boring and mundane.
2(13.3%)
Yes. I have no idea how anyone ever made it through 8 entire hours at work without the internet.
6(40.0%)
It's why LJ, Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn and all the other ones can exist at the same time. There's enough wasted office man-hours to go around.
4(26.7%)

bobwhite -- Is Jib Jab funny? Bob provided his own answers for this question, something I don't normally allow, but I'll let it slide this time:

No, it fucking sucks homeless mens' balls.
10(71.4%)
Yes, I am a goddamn retard who bites his hands when I am not constantly jerking off in bus stations.
4(28.6%)

And now: bobwhite -- Is Jib Jab funny? The Founding Fathers rap was pretty funny, but I honestly haven't thought about JibJab since 2004. This can mean only one thing. JibJab animations are created by:

The Olympics Committee.
2(12.5%)
Moveon.org.
5(31.2%)
People who's birthday is February 29.
7(43.8%)
The Nader campaign.
2(12.5%)

Yesterday, I went to Costco while I was "sick" to return some stuff. After waiting around for the two cashiers to bullshit with the guy in front of me about whatever the hell he was returning, and the third cashier, sitting around doing nothing but giving me the "they'll be with you in a minute" nod, my turn came up. Out of nowhere, this woman appears, walks right up to the desk and starts talking about something, and the two cashiers walk off with her. The third comes over to me now and asks if I've been helped. Still shocked by what just happened, I said, "that lady just cut me!" She responds:

Ugh. Some people just don't have any manners.
1(6.7%)
Oh, well, those two other cashiers will be back in a second.
5(33.3%)
Man, what a bitch!
1(6.7%)
Omigod, are you okay? Where?
8(53.3%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

Tags: friday poll
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