absolutcalm -- Please rewrite history so that other Gold Medal Winners do their own superbowl struts, like Usain Bolt dancing the last 25 metres of the 100. That might make the Olympics watchable. It would also be better if this Bolt fellow dressed like the superhero he obviously is. I wish more Olympians had superhero names.
Brooke Swansea, Women's 400 m individual medley.
Pierce Fletcher, Men's individual archery.
Toni Roundoff, Women's floor gymnastics.
Finn Sleekwater, Men's 200 m freestyle.
observacious -- Are the new Dentyne ads trying to say that people only communicate via the Internet because of bad breath? Maybe. Or maybe to convince people if they chew gum they can have a real orgy and not just a "chatroom."
Immodium AD: Spend less time AFK or Fewer BRBs.
Band Aid Liquid Bandages: Nothing gets between you and your touchscreen.
American Express Cardholder Identity Theft Warnings: Protect your a/s/l.
Burger King: You Can Has Cheeseburger.
bobwhite -- Al Jazeera is covering the Democratic Convention LIVE! from the Buffallo Rose, a biker bar, in Golden, Colorado (my parents' current home). How will the sun-damaged, discount-cigarette-smoking, side-armed patrons will greet them? (As liberators?)
If your corporate mission statement is to make Americans look bad, then there's no better place to broadcast from than Golden, America's Semifunctional Real Life Wild West Museum Park.
Given Al Jazeera's high standards of journalistic integrity, they wanted to make sure they were stationed in a place as far away from Democrat influence as they could be.
There won't be any Buffalo Rose regulars there to greet them - the biker bar crowd skipped town to wait out the Convention.
Sun damaged? Excessive smoking? Gun carrying? I betcha the Buffalo Rose guys also hate gays and think the government should do more to inflict religion on the public. Those Al Jazeera guys are going to feel right at home.
eideteker -- Sorry. Let me rephrase that: "Is it wrong that anymore..." How do I parse a sentence that begins this way? You don't "parse" someone else's question. You're better than this. Lamer:
When you're IMming with somebody and you make an obvious yet understandable typeo and they pretend not to know what you're tlaking about. TLAKING? WHAAA?
renob423 -- will that little fucking brat in the building next door ever shut the fuck up? or will he make noise till he's an adult only then it will be noisy adult stuff. what was the answer to the things your neighbors did that make noise on the poll 2 weeks ago? The one of these loud, irritating things my neighbors don't do is to leave the door open while they argue about stuff. They only leave the door open when they have to put the fridge in the hallway for a few hours. And like I know what they argue about - I don't speak Mongolian.
Don't worry, thanks to the omnipotent vigilance of his parents, that kid is sure to get himself killed or maimed long before he becomes an adult.
Asswipes like that kid only grow up to be loud, noisy adults, whether they're loud and noisy about their shitty music taste, favorite sports team, how they're not subject to the judgment of their peers, or their recent purchases.
Once he realizes he's screaming all the time because he's starved for attention, he'll turn into a very quiet and docile emo kid.
All you need to do is go over there and calmly explain to his parents how his behavior is negatively effecting you. They will take your plea to heart, apologize for your trouble, and begin teaching the child about manners and proper behavior.
Due to an accident a few weeks ago during which someone drove off the side of the Bay Bridge, at least one lane is going to be closed for up to 10 weeks. The Maryland DOT is running radio commercials suggesting people avoid the bridge this Labor Day weekend. How do they expect people to get to the beach?
Drive about 2 1/2 hours north into Delaware, take 896 east to 301 south.
Drive about 2 1/2 hours south on 95 to 64 East through Williamsburg and then take 13 north.
Use your jetpack/hovercar.
They don't. Again, you've got to be out of your goddamn mind to go to the beach on a weekend like this.
It's that time of year again: most promising new show for the fall?
: a research scientist (described as "Frankenstein mixed with Albert Einstein"), his son, and a female FBI agent who brings them back together. A J.J. Abrams Joint.
: a guy who looks like Boromir & Farimir's lost brother is shipwrecked on a remote tropical island for 28 years encountering enemies and braving the elements.
: the fictional co-existence of vampires and humans in a small Louisiana town after Japanese-made synthetic blood – "TruBlood" – becomes available for purchase.
My Own Worst Enemy
: another classic literature interpretation, this time of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. Christian Slater, we've missed you.
The Kath & Kim Americanization:
I want it to be good, but I also know Selma Blair couldn't act her way out of a paper bag.
The 90210 remake:
I want it to be good, but the premise of a drama about vapid Beverly Hills teenagers doesn't have the same novelty it did 20 years ago.