The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

  • Mood:

It's Friday Poll Time!

Friday Poll? But I'm scared!

Poll #1258502 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

pooplord -- Jim from The Office. Actually good-looking, or no? Explain his appeal.

He's tall. For some women, topping 6' is the only mandatory requirement.
1(8.3%)
In an increasingly bitchy world enabled by bitchy technologies such as txt and picture messages, twitter and "social networking" sites, young women of today want their man to be something that no other thing in her life is: nonthreatening.
2(16.7%)
While he's handsome, there's nothing about him that qualifies as pretty, from the goofy smile to the awkwardly-endearing nose. And his hair is a silent promise he'll never take longer to get ready than you.
4(33.3%)
Most women will say it's more important for a guy to make you laugh than be attractive. Jim satisfies both this tired old line and the unspoken qualifier: "but he can't be a freakish troll or anything, I mean, come on."
5(41.7%)

haveyaseenlucky -- How can they make the Maryland ren. festival EVEN COOLER and more topical this year? (hint Barack Obama Sarah Pallin tie-ins) I try to keep the poll politics-free. I've read most of your journals and I know you're not going to like my take on political humor but you keep begging for it.

Giant turkey legs replaced with giant moose legs.
1(8.3%)
Surprise winner of the jousting competition: a knight from the icy north known only as "Sarah Paladin".
3(25.0%)
Brother Barry's Dunk-A-Hillawitch!
2(16.7%)
All of the animals in the petting zoo are sporting lipstick.
6(50.0%)

observacious -- Now that we know some men have a "commitment-phobia" gene what other bad habits will science discover are just a part of how we were born?

Men have a gene that makes them instinctively distrustful of telephones. It hampers their ability not only to carry on a conversation with friends and loved ones but causes extreme anxiety challenged with ordering pizzas or making appointments.
3(25.0%)
Certain people have an innate inability to get jokes. This chromosomal disorder causes them to point out a joke's flawed logic or the improbability of comic hyperbole.
2(16.7%)
Habitual tardiness results from a genetic flaw in one's concept of time. The brain interprets travel much like a film cuts a scene between places, signifying the travel but not showing it.
2(16.7%)
Millions of rude people across the world will be comforted to know their behavior is linked to a genetic blocker that eliminates their ability to imagine themselves on the receiving end of their actions.
5(41.7%)

coldblackncold -- I blame the lack of questions on August. What can we blame on September?

The return of the renob ramble question.
2(16.7%)
The fact that our bosses are all back from vacation, making our slackoff time more precious and valued.
4(33.3%)
The ubiquity of political news building up to the election tempts pollketeers to ask politically-themed questions.
3(25.0%)
The pending onslaught of Halloween stuff, then too-early Thanksgiving stuff, then way-too-early Christmas stuff causes an abundance of "How soon is too soon" questions.
3(25.0%)

subbes -- Cheap knockoffs of Spore parents will inevitably buy their children because "they're just the same." (You missed me, right?)

Six Days, a worldbuilding sim in which players are given six "day"-long turns to create their own environment filled with everything from simple amoebas to complicated advanced species. If you can't create it in 6 days, it's not meant to be.
4(33.3%)
Grandma found a copy of SimEarth for the PS1 at a garage sale and knows you like those video games.
6(50.0%)
Mega Germ Infection Craze: A disgusting barbarian with a cold went outside without a face mask on, and now you control of the resulting bacterial colony. Maximize the growth potential of your environment and migrate to infect new hosts.
0(0.0%)
Budding, an educational game that focuses not only on spores but on all aspects of asexual vegetative reproduction from agamogenesis to nucellar embryony, without distracting clothing design, silly personification or video posting.
2(16.7%)

eideteker -- I just spent four days in Canadia. What's the best thing about a) Canadia and b) Quebec? I've never been to Quebec. My experience with Canadia is limited to the other side.

Silly accents tempt you instruct "hosers" to "take off"; Canadians generally amenable to this request.
3(25.0%)
Canadia takes up most of the parts of North America that nobody would want to live in anyway.
4(33.3%)
Because most everybody speaks English, uses dollars, watches the same shows and listens to the same music as us, it's got the fun of visiting a different country without the complexity of the unknown.
4(33.3%)

renob423 -- why is there only like 1 cable company? doesn't that violate the clayton act or some shit? why won't the middle channels i'm paying for come up? how long will it take to rectify this bullshit? and how much longer til i'm sick of the fucking buckeyes?

Certain oligarchies remain in spite of antitrust laws because of the complications caused by infrastructure, in this case, cable lines. The cost for a company to lay cable in a new market is often not worth the risk of trying to break into it.
3(25.0%)
If the middle channels came up, they might bump the high channels out of range.
3(25.0%)
Like all matters with the cable company, sometime within a period of three hours.
4(33.3%)
If you're sick of the buckeyes, tell your mom to switch to chocolate chip cookies or something.
2(16.7%)

Email submission from bobwhite -- Is it wrong to care little about the impending doom of a major American city (Houston), because you hate their baseball team? What if I went ahead and thew in the residents as well (they also suck)? I wasn't a big fan of New Orleans either, but they gave us zombies, jazz, food and people who speak Creole (which is hot).

What about two-team cities, such as your home Chicago? How can you make sure the natural disaster destroys only the White Sox fans? Is it worth losing a Cubs fan or two for the cause?
4(33.3%)
All I know about Houston is Chloe Dao's store is there and some of my LJ friends are among the aforementioned sucky residents. By my estimation, it is a benign place that deserves no natural wrath. So how do we get a hurricane to strike Detroit?
0(0.0%)
It is wrong to be ambivalent to a city's fate because you hate their baseball team. It is right to wish Baltimore and the majority of Maryland to be erased from the map because you hate their roads and their assfuck tolls.
5(41.7%)
Charleston, SC, most of the Outer Banks, and Savannah, GA have no baseball teams and their residents have done nothing to nobody (okay, except those stupid OBX stickers). Why does god choose to level those places every few years?
3(25.0%)

SANGER, Calif. – A man suspected of breaking into the home of two California farmworkers, rubbing spices into the face of one man and smacking another with an 8-inch sausage has been set free.

The people of Sanger can expect an onslaught of visiting PETA members protesting the courthouse for letting such a vile criminal go free on a mere technicality.
0(0.0%)
Just when the Sanger Police feel like there's nothing good or interesting about their job, they get to take down the greatest. incident report. evar.
6(50.0%)
Can we Rule 34 this please?
1(8.3%)
I don't have the thyme to read something like this. The link between the victim and the assalted is weak at best. They really don't have a casing here.
5(41.7%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment