If you're anything like the guy who called me the other day saying he'd be late for our 10am meeting, between the bathroom and the headaches, you just couldn't get going.
0 (0.0%)

Because if those fuckers are going to be picky about when you show up, you might start getting picky about when you leave. Your 11-hour days start when you goddamn feel like they should start.
3 (42.9%)

Golden Girls Hour on Lifetime is from 9-10.
4 (57.1%)

Because you don't really care if there's a job waiting for you there?
0 (0.0%)

Con: the anniversary of your birth has been befouled by the stench of death. Pro: At least it's not like your birthday is 9/11 or something - you'll actually have to remind people what happened on your birthday in 2009.
2 (28.6%)

Con: some people may have forgotten to wish you a happy birthday. Pro: at least the folks in your office had something to talk about while they awkwardly stood around eating the supermarket cake procured in your honor.
3 (42.9%)

Pro: you got to hear a bunch of good songs on your birthday. Con: you also got to hear about Farrah Fawcett's butthole.
2 (28.6%)

Pro: if you're one of those people who's cagey about saying it's your birthday, you were in luck. Con: most of those people wish the reason no one is talking about their birthday is because they're secretly plotting a surprise party, so not really.
0 (0.0%)

First make sure your passport is valid.
1 (14.3%)

Find a nice bed and breakfast in Asheville, NC that's maybe a quarter mile from a winery.
2 (28.6%)

What for? I'm sure there are already plenty of books written about it, most with pictures already taken.
1 (14.3%)

Go to REI and buy a bunch of expensive crap that you'll never use again.
3 (42.9%)

The incandescent lightbulb.
0 (0.0%)

The NyQuil Logo.
3 (42.9%)

The 2D diagrams of the chemical makeups of such nonos as nicotine, cocaine, or fructose.
2 (28.6%)

The broken-image red X in white box.
2 (28.6%)

Cleaning the tub. Not so much for grossness but for pain-in-the-assness.
3 (42.9%)

I hate cleaning that little area behind the faucet on the sink. It's always covered in some weird black shit and doesn't ever seem to be dry.
2 (28.6%)

[insert pet-care chore here].
0 (0.0%)

Cleaning the inside of the fridge.
2 (28.6%)

I'm a dude and I do too.
1 (14.3%)

Chick thing.
6 (85.7%)

300 years after the big war, the tables have turned: humans are the plague of gigantic insects in a world of overgrown fauna. Man makes the best weapons he can in the face of reverting technology. Millipede: the movie.
2 (28.6%)

After a hole in the bottom of the ocean floor leading to subterranean caverns in which tiny peaks of land poke up from rivers of magma. Exploration is only possible with the aid of genetically altered ostriches. Joust: the movie.
1 (14.3%)

An affable coal miner in West Virginia needs to up the ante this month to support his family now that his wife has lost her job. Pulling long hours digging deeper than ever before, Doug is faced with unimaginable perils. Dig Dug!
4 (57.1%)

A bizarre meteorite has landed in Utah. Within days, a colony of alien spores created an ever-moving patchwork of bacteria in the desert sky. Whether the Army, police, or a citizen hunter, everyone has to pitch in to fight the Space Invaders.
0 (0.0%)