The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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It's Friday Poll Time!

Poll #1605325 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

mac -- Whos sick idea of a joke is instant coffee? Really?

A coffee maker takes less than 5 minutes to brew, especially with fewer cups. If you can't wait 5 minutes, it's time to consider methamphetamine.
0(0.0%)
My grandmother used instant coffee. Maybe during the depression they had to...oh christ I don't know why she drank that shit. It always had this grey cloud skimming the top.
1(25.0%)
My other grandmother said from the 40's through the 70's, they drank pots and pots of coffee until they switched to booze at 5 so they could sleep. How the need for instant could arise when there's pots of coffee around is beyond me.
1(25.0%)
Maybe they came up with it when they thought everyone would be eating astronaut rations in the future and it seemed high-tech or something.
2(50.0%)

eideteker -- How about this creepy robot: http://pinktentacle.com/2010/08/telenoid-r1-minimalist-humanoid-robot/?

While we're aware of demon tentacle rape porn and other bizarre Japanese dalliances, it's pleasing to the touch because of lesser-known failed-superscience-experiment porn. The Japanse version of Aliens 4 is, in fact, soft core.
0(0.0%)
Because anyone with a spare 35 grand to buy a robot can't be expected to log onto Skype.
3(60.0%)
This is an elaborate scheme cooked up by the folks at AOL to try to get people using AIM again. If talking on the phone invovled staring at that freaky alien fetus, I'd never dial again.
1(20.0%)
Dr. Hiroshi Ishiguro is the living incarnation of both Victor Frankenstein and Dr. Moreau. The eventual film adaptation of his life will be outstanding.
1(20.0%)

eideteker -- What should I put in my Julian Assange-style "insurance" file?

Create a list of your ex girlfriends and estranged friends, systematically cataloging any secret or embarrassing story you have on them. Not that it's going to insure you against much, but it's all you've got.
1(25.0%)
Scour the internet for every wacko conspiracy theory around, from the anti-fluoride nutjobs to that clown who thinks the Pentagon 9/11 attack was a truck the government sent. It may not be insurance, but it would be a hell of a blog.
1(25.0%)
Establish yourself as the kind of person to have dirt on anything and name any old file "Insurance". Hell, it could be your grocery list, it doesn't matter. All you need to do is create the fear.
1(25.0%)
Dude, you got nothing. Don't even bother.
1(25.0%)

eideteker -- Wyclef's Presidential Campaign: Joke or Horrifying Possibility?

A black guy with no experience winning a presidential election with nothing other than star power and a vault of campaign cash? Never gonna happen.
0(0.0%)
If only all of the celebrities who used their status to preach whatever political whim swirling around in their head actually put more than just their money where their mouth was, it wouldn't be so irritating. Good for him.
0(0.0%)
It sounds like Haiti finally needs a less-corrupt government, but they probably need running water more. Spend the campaign funds on infrastructure and focus on the rest later.
2(40.0%)
Sean Penn disapproves. And when Sean Penn disapproves of a political figure, people...like, kinda notice it on news site sidebars or something.
3(60.0%)

renob423 -- would you rather have an exterminator show up at your apartment for preventative bug killing free of charge but with a list of dumb shit you have to do that is a major pain in the ass for prep or deal with an infestation on your own IF it even occours?

Making me take everything out of my kitchen cabinets and remove the drawers once a year helps remind me why I pay so damn much for the place. But that price should include cleaning-everything-afterwards part too.
0(0.0%)
This is another one of those garden/highrise differences. If you took a look at the trash chute after they do the extermination, you would want them to do it twice a year.
2(50.0%)
As filthy as you may be, remember, the other people in your building are way more disgusting. The bugs are there. Be grateful for the extermination.
1(25.0%)
To hell with that. If I start seeing bugs, you can be damn sure my happy ass is going to be in the management office bitching about it post-haste.
1(25.0%)

My kitten does not appear to have mastered the clean pinch and has been having some trouble keeping his butthole clean of poop. I have had to wipe his ass twice now, after snuggling with him and wondering why he smells like shit. He indignantly resists having his ass wiped, and has once done the dog ass/carpet drag (fortunately on our least favorite carpet). Suggestions?

Get a diaper for him. Cats are supposed to hate the smell of shit, but they hate wearing things more.
1(25.0%)
Blow his asshole out with a healthy dose of fiber.
2(50.0%)
Since you can't really push his nose in his own ass, try shoving his face in the shit he manages to get in the litter box.
1(25.0%)
Wave his stanky ass in the other cat's face and hope she takes care of it.
0(0.0%)

We hired contractors to install central air conditioning in our house on January 25. They're not finished. Fortunately, the air conditioning part has worked since April, but they're dragging their asses on periphery stuff. The other day on the phone, the guy bemoaned how hot it is working in our attic while it's 100 degrees outside. What I should have said was:

Guess you never expected that heat would be a problem when you took this job in January!
1(25.0%)
Hold off until it cools down again. It's not as if this job has been a priority for you before.
1(25.0%)
Remember that six weeks in March you spent waiting around for some replacement part to come in from the distributor? I bet you're wishing you were a little more proactive on that now.
1(25.0%)
I guess the heat explains why you carelessly shoved all the stuff we have stored in the attic to the sides, breaking our SpaceBags and stuffing boxes under the ductwork.
1(25.0%)

YOUR QUESTION HERE

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