On this, the ten-year anniversary of my LiveJournal, I have been going back and reading my old entries. This exercise has made a few things clear, most especially that in spite of how different my life is now, some things are very much the same.
If I were able to leave a comment today for 2001 Mej that she could read, it would say:
Ya know how easy it is to just pack a bag for the weekend, hop on a plane and cruise through security? Yeah, don't get too used to that.
2(25.0%)
There's this bar in Arlington called Dr. Dremo. You don't go there much now but you should really start, especially while you can still do this "close the bar and go to work tomorrow" thing.
3(37.5%)
Two words: Chapelle's Show. Get ready.
1(12.5%)
I know you're really shocked by the absurdity that is the corporate world and can't believe it's as bad as it is at your new job. You won't have to stress it much longer - it's like that everywhere and you'll get used to it soon.
2(25.0%)
I can't believe how often and how much I wrote back then. What has changed?
I burnt myself out from all the posting.
0(0.0%)
LJ intereferes with my terrible habit of repeating stories: now I know if I have told it or can go check if I'm not sure. Hell, I still tell some of the stories I posted in 2001. I've run out.
1(14.3%)
I don't take the Metro anymore, which complaints about or tales of made up aobut 80% of those posts.
3(42.9%)
Which of the following things that I bitched about 10 years ago can I expect to be bitching about in another 10 years?
Dipshits who put walnuts in cookies.
3(42.9%)
Being annoyed by people who seem to expect praise for mundane observations or accomplishments, e.g. "OMG Godfather 2 is so much better than Godfather 3!" or "You've seen OFFICE SPACE!?! haha 'where's my stapler?' am I rite?"
2(28.6%)
As long as there are places like LJ and Facebook, I will detest vague posts made in an attepmt to seem deep, whether by simply pasting song lyrics or disabling comments.
1(14.3%)
The overall poor manners of the general public, specifically when it comes to navigating waiting lines.
1(14.3%)
And now for a question from February:  renob423 -- the fridge is leaking call the landlord or swap it with a spare one you THINK belongs to the apartment complex in the storage room?
Call the landlord. Moving two fridges around sounds a lot of work.
1(14.3%)
Call the landlord. Moving two fridges sounds like the exact kind of bullshit I pay him to deal with.
2(28.6%)
They have spare fridges? What else is in there?
3(42.9%)
Maybe this is why my old neighbors in the apartment had their fridge in the hallway that time.
1(14.3%)
renob423 -- if you swap, leave a note or let whoever figure out the fride was switched?
Leave a note. You don't want someone else who needs a good fridge to get screwed over with yours.
3(42.9%)
Right, like they give a shit. Think about this when you wonder why your "new" fridge has a broken ice maker.
4(57.1%)
renob423 -- if you leave note, leave contact info or not?
Leave a note, only if you plan to chew out the landlord for being so slow to respond that you had to do his job for him.
1(14.3%)
I can't think of any other good reason to leave a note with contact info.
6(85.7%)
Got a question? Keep it evergreen because who knows when the next poll will be.
- Mood:nostalgic
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Well, hellooooooooo, LiveJournal! Nice to see you!
eideteker -- What do you tell someone when they ask you what your new year's resolution is?
uh...check back with me in early March. My resolutions are like pregnancies - I don't like to announce them until after the first trimester.
0(0.0%)
To stop setting goals based on arbitrary societal customs and focus on what I need when I need it.
4(80.0%)
To resist giving sarcastic responses to asinine smalltalk questions.
1(20.0%)
Cut back on the compressed air huffing.
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- http://listverse.com/2010/12/26/another-10-moral-dilemmas These are too damn heavy. No thanks. - best new years scene in a movie? I can only think of two movies with New Years scenes in them:
Another movie with a New Years scene?
renob423 -- is new years usually a let down?
Yes. It gets overhyped.
4(80.0%)
No. The hype leads to effort and effort leads to hype-meeting.
1(20.0%)
renob423 -- is a memorable new years the same as a good new years? In retrospect, yes. which happens more?
What good is a New Years that you don't remember?
1(20.0%)
renob423 -- best new years you have ever had? worst new years?
1999-2000: outstanding Millennium party at the house I was sharing at the time. DJ, decorations, Beirut, the works. And that "haha nothing's going to happen at the turn of the millennium, rite...rite?" feeling we had most of the night.
2(40.0%)
2003-2004: warehouse party in New York that was sponsored by Red Bull, thus free Red Bull & Vodkas all night. The party was shut down in a chaotic scramble at 2am because of the two available toilets and consequent stairwell urine streams.
0(0.0%)
1987-1988: the first year I was allowed to stay up and to watch the ball drop.
1(20.0%)
2010-2011: engagement, natch ;)
2(40.0%)
renob423 -- worst new years?
2000-2001: the year after one of my favorite New Years Eves, I spent the following year at an exceptionally boring house party where attendees were sitting around reading magazines by 10:45. Add the guilt of having brought an out of town friend.
2(40.0%)
1997-1998: the year I was at the ball drop in Times Square. When Dick Clark says it's 5 degrees in Times Square with a wind chill of -12, imagine how much more uncomfortable that is when you've been standing around in the same spot for 5 hours.
2(40.0%)
1993-1994: the year all of my friends with balls went clubbing at the Limelight while telling their parents they were at the roller rink with me and the rest of the pussies.
0(0.0%)
Stumped. Probably one I don't remember or chose to forget.
1(20.0%)
You're in fairly dense traffic on a 2-lane road (2 lanes for each direction - I can never remember if that means 2 lanes or 4 lanes). You hear the distant whir of a siren and get visual confirmation in the rearview mere seconds later. You and your fellow drivers angle your cars onto the shoulder, pull into turn lanes, or do whatever else is necessary to allow the emergency vehicle to pass through. Once it's gone, you:
rearrange yourself back into the traffic in as close a pattern as possible as before the disruption, being particularly generous given the universal inconvenience of the situation.
4(80.0%)
take this opportunity to skunk past the dipshits who got too out of the way, rev the engine and ride the wake of the emergency vehicle to gain as much ground as possible while the dipshits play all nicey nice.
1(20.0%)
You're leaving a shopping center and need to turn left across the road mentioned above. The shopping center has one exit with a stoplight light and another without. You:
use the exit with the stoplight, wait for the light to change and turn left effortlessly.
5(100.0%)
use the exit without the stoplight, moving forward into the oncoming traffic lanes inch by inch without your turn signal on for fear of someone not letting you in because you're turning left, repeating at the median.
0(0.0%)
You notice a U-Haul crawling along in the right lane at 50mph in a 55mph zone. You:
give them as much room and forgiveness as you can. They are probably quite unused to driving a 14' truck, let alone one with all of their worldly possessions packed inside.
2(40.0%)
ride their ass, pass them as forcefully as you can and cut them off when you do. It's a fucking 55mph zone.
3(60.0%)
I:
actively watched the Super Bowl, interested in its outcome.
2(40.0%)
did not watch the Super Bowl.
3(60.0%)
happened to notice some game being played while I was at a party my friend weirdly scheduled for Sunday night.
0(0.0%)
I'm old because:
When I'm invited to a party that starts at 9pm on a Friday night, I know not to rsvp because really? 9pm on a Friday?
2(40.0%)
When I leave happy hour smashed at 10:30 and the following morning my co-workers fill me in on what I missed after I "left early."
0(0.0%)
I write ranty questions about rude driving habits.
2(40.0%)
I'm actually busy enough at work not to be devoting several hours each Friday morning to an internet poll.
1(20.0%)
- Mood:cheerful
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Started off 2011 with a nice ring and an engagement request from Evan. It's looking like a good year so far :D - Mood:engaged!
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renob423 -- you open a 2 liter of pop and the cap falls behind the fridge. lol, pop. move the fridge, macguyver a cap out of something, or let the 2L go capless?
Move the fridge.
1(25.0%)
MacGuyver a new cap.
0(0.0%)
MacGuyver a method to retreive the cap.
2(50.0%)
Let the bottle go capless. It's not worth the dollar or so to get it.
0(0.0%)
Let the bottle go capless. It's not like a 2 liter is going to last long enough to go flat anyway.
1(25.0%)
renob423 -- xmas songs: crank em or "turn the bullshit off!"?
Crank it! I love Christmas music.
2(50.0%)
Turn the bullshit off.
2(50.0%)
Christmas music is like Jimmy Buffet: it has a time and a place.
0(0.0%)
Which are your preferred genres of Christmas music: Check all that apply.
Classical/traditional.
0(0.0%)
40's-60's retro, from Bing Crosby to poppy Brenda Lee stuff.
1(25.0%)
Modern versions set to current genres, such as boy bands or trilly poptarts with rapper interludes.
0(0.0%)
Modern performers are acceptable as long as they approach it traditionally, ala Mariah Carey or Vanessa Williams.
0(0.0%)
Quirky/satirical.
2(50.0%)
renob423 -- how realistic is rocky compared to your average slasher film? I hate to say it, but I've never seen Rocky I all the way through.
The odds of a world heavyweight champion picking some local slug to fight in the biggest bout of the year is about as likely as a group of kids being harassed by the same maniac for years on end.
1(25.0%)
Adrianne and Rocky don't have sex for the whole first movie. Had the slasher flick sluts held out some, maybe they would make it to the ending like she does.
0(0.0%)
Unlike slasher films, Rocky was a low-budget movie that actually went on to not only make money but create real movie stars.
2(50.0%)
In slasher movies, the bumbling drunk lowlife usually gets killed off pretty fast. In real life and in Rocky, guys like Paulie seem to infect others' lives forever.
1(25.0%)
eideteker -- How does one "network" for business and career advancement purposes?
Be willing to talk about yourself, your needs, and what a person can do for you at a moment's notice.
1(25.0%)
Friend anyone and everyone you can think of on LinkedIn.
0(0.0%)
For all those times people say "sure, here's my card. We'll talk," you actually have to follow up with them. Often multiple times.
1(25.0%)
In summation: it involves a certain amount of douchebaggery.
2(50.0%)
renob423 -- will the hitler mustache ever make a come back?
Given the absolute absurdity of the latest hipster mustache trends, anything is possible.
2(50.0%)
If the right celebrity or anticelebrity sports the hitlerstache, it might catch on.
1(25.0%)
Then again, those who might deign to wear it probably would resist if it became mainstream popular.
0(0.0%)
Think about the reaction to Prince Harry's Hitler Halloween costume. There's plenty of stupid that can become popular, but Hitler is off limits. See also: blackface.
1(25.0%)
renob423 -- if jared leto, labron james, george cloony, al pachino, and johnny depp all grew a hitler stache in 2011 okay okay. One of these things is not like the other. would that be a big enough push to make it an acceptable style again? See above.
renob423 -- what shocking thing will kids do in 20 years that makes me say "what's with kids these days? we never pulled that kind of crap back in MY day!"
It would have to involve some sort of technology that's not yet available that they use in some way to alter their minds or expose their genitals.
2(50.0%)
Total abstinence from sex, drugs and promiscuity.
0(0.0%)
I'd like to think anything the future generations do would be met with more irritated indignance than horrified shock, but I'm sure everyone thought that at some point in their lives.
1(25.0%)
It will be some bastardization of our rebellions that pisses us off because they're doin it wrong.
1(25.0%)
renob423 -- does having "wild" hair as a teen give someone cart blanch to say whatever they want about whatever stupid haircut the youth of today has?
As long as they're insistent that their old stupid haircut was somehow more awesome than the latest stupid haircut.
1(25.0%)
I would say it's the opposite. If you had the stupid haircut then, you best keep your mouth shut about anyone else's stupid haircut.
3(75.0%)
The other week, I was watching the "Holiday" edition of the Food Network show, Chopped. The show required the contestants to cook a meal using wacky "holiday" ingredients to make a "holiday" meal. While I comprehend the rationale behind "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas", the wacky ingredients were all Christmas-oriented and the show insisted on saying "holiday". Except when one guy made a Hanukkah dish.
Sensitive move. They wouldn't want to alienate any viewers by calling it a Christmas special.
0(0.0%)
Why not have both a Hanukkah and a Christmas special and have the wacky ingredients correspond to each?
0(0.0%)
The point of "holiday" is to group all of the late-winter events together. If you're going to so obviously make it a Christmas thing thanks to the wacky ingredients being candy canes and goose, it's not generic "holiday" anymore.
1(33.3%)
Pussies. You know it's a Christmas special, you're just trying to appease the PC gods. Call it what it is.
2(66.7%)
Does your work have a Holiday Party?
If yes, what is your position on said Holiday Party?
It's a nice fun event.
1(33.3%)
Eeh. Whatever. Free drinks/food.
1(33.3%)
I would chew off my own foot to get out of it.
1(33.3%)
- Mood:busy
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Things have changed in the career life of your gal Mej. Sadly, the Friday Poll will become less regular with unannounced outages. You can always add more questions for the next poll in the comments.
renob423 -- most time spent on a video game where you lost your save game?
The near entirety of Legend of Zelda. Thank god for saves.
0(0.0%)
Long enough to have forgotten whether or not I performed some crucial task.
2(25.0%)
Not long. Fool me once...
5(62.5%)
renob423 -- was it unethical to release fallout with so many bugs and to not have a patch a month later?
If that's unethical, what is Sony?
3(37.5%)
Ethics, schmethics. They did it and we bought it anyway.
3(37.5%)
They could at least send out a patch for the radio stations. I don't ever want to hear Sinatra's Blue Moon again.
1(12.5%)
renob423 -- have rappers given up when it comes to writing lyrics? That implies they ever were all that good. Take these fine examples from the 80's:
Slick Rick, La-di-da-di: La-di-da-di, we like to party | We don't cause trouble, we don't bother nobody | We're, just some men that's on the mic | And when we rock upon the mic we rock the mic right
2(28.6%)
Kool Moe Dee, They Want Money: I'm drivin' | Benz 190| 2.5 and you know where to find me | Driving down the highway |
Girlies behind me | Jockin' blindly
1(14.3%)
UTFO, The Real Roxanne: I'm roxanne, the lady devastator | I'll make you feel hotter than it is in grenada | The r-o-x-a-n-n-e | roxanne is who i be
1(14.3%)
Kurtis Blow, The Breaks: Brakes on a bus, brakes on a car | Breaks to make you a superstar | Breaks to win and breaks to lose | But these here breaks will rock your shoes | And these are the breaks | Break it up, break it up, break it up!
3(42.9%)
renob423 -- why is my cat fascinated with the sink?
It's the alluring temptation of testing one's luck in an otherwise hostile environment. How could something so horrible come out of something so comfortable?
0(0.0%)
My cats are fascinated with boxes, as is Maru. Think of the sink as a rounded-bottom box and it starts to make sense. 3(42.9%)
It provides the soothing cool of porcelain after hours of dozing in patches of sunlight.
1(14.3%)
Given the amount of time you spend in front of it, whether washing some part of yourself or something else, I'm sure the cat is wondering why you're so fascinated with it.
3(42.9%)
eideteker -- You have no interest in holiday shopping, but you need to run to the store for something you can't wait to be shipped to you (like if you're moving). Coping strategies/battle plans?
Target. Tuesday. 10:45pm.
2(25.0%)
Better yet, Wal-Mart at 1am.
2(25.0%)
Rate the urgency of having said item on a scale of 1-10, and divide by the estimated number of minutes spent waiting in line to get a percentage. Go for it if over 10%.
1(12.5%)
Bring your DS, a sudoku or crossword, bite your lip and give it hell.
3(37.5%)
Christmas is:
A ways away. I've got plenty of time!
7(87.5%)
omg soon. I have so much to do.
1(12.5%)
This December has so far been:
the usual blur of Christmas parties and events.
3(37.5%)
Death is not an option:
6-hour Glee marathon.
2(25.0%)
6-hour Outsourced marathon.
6(75.0%)
Death is not an option:
6-hour Fishing show marathon.
5(62.5%)
6-hour Golf marathon.
3(37.5%)
Death is not an option:
6-hour home decorating show marathon.
2(25.0%)
6-hour cake decorating show marathon.
6(75.0%)
- Mood:cheerful
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eideteker -- We've already done "Springtime for Hitler." Worst karaoke songs? Generally?
Ones that are too off key screamingly awful.
1(33.3%)
Ones that are too pretentiously good.
2(66.7%)
Any song beyond the second the same person sang in one night.
0(0.0%)
Any that involves more than two drunks.
0(0.0%)
Specifically:
Sweet Caroline.
3(100.0%)
Livin on a Prayer.
0(0.0%)
Since it's probably been done to death in the past few years, Never Gonna Give You Up.
0(0.0%)
eideteker -- What's a sign your business cards are too clever/cutesy?
Any image other than a company or other professional organization logo.
0(0.0%)
An inspirational quote.
1(33.3%)
Including your Twitter or Facebook account.
1(33.3%)
renob423 -- best flavor of tea? conspiracy videos like loose change and zuiteguist- mind blowing and eye opening, complete bullshit, or bullshit...but i'll watch it? I haven't seen them and won't be able to without delaying the poll so I'll get back to this. pictures of abandoned buildings and stuff - cool and fascinating or artsy and lame?
Cool and fascinating.
3(100.0%)
popespydie -- What was so special about the 80's fashion that made it so special that it's coming back?
From leg warmers to multiple watches, no era of fashion so fully embraced the unnecessary accessory.
0(0.0%)
While douchey, a popped collar makes any shirt a little more like a superhero costume.
1(33.3%)
The people who are actively into new fashion trends are young enough to not have endured them the first time. In other words: because we're old.
2(66.7%)
In these tough economic times, we need fashion that is primarily made of cheap, easy to manufacture materials like cotton, spandex, plastic and rubber.
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- what should be done with this guy?
He will be given the benefit of spending his prison sentence in the space underneath the outhouse, Schindlers List style.
1(33.3%)
Get him a job with the TSA!
1(33.3%)
From now on, every one of his bodily fluid releases will be uploaded onto YouTube.
0(0.0%)
I have no idea. How do you punish someone for doing something that most would consider punishment? Rewards?
1(33.3%)
renob423 -- BALLS OUT AWESOME or REALLY???
"Looks like those clowns in Washington are at it again. What a bunch of clowns." (and how does it keep up with current events like that?)
0(0.0%)
How do you sleep at night? On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.
2(66.7%)
Don't cry for me, I'm already dead.
1(33.3%)
Everybody always talks about how stressful the Holiday Season is. What do you think?
I find this time of year even less stressful with so much to look forward to.
1(33.3%)
It's no more or less stressful than usual.
0(0.0%)
Sure, there's more to stress about, but it's not unbearable or anything.
1(33.3%)
I understand why the suicide jumps so high at this time of year.
1(33.3%)
Are you watching Walking Dead?
Did you get a lot of zits as a teenager?
A few here and there but nothing major.
3(100.0%)
Do you get zits now?
Christ yes. When will it end?
2(66.7%)
A few here and there but nothing major.
1(33.3%)
- Mood:Got that oncoming cold feeling
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No poll this week or next - stupid work.
If you clowns want to add new questions between now and then, use the comments. - Mood:busy
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rskipwo -- What do you want for Christmas? I'm actually kind of happy you asked. The family has requested an early start on the wish lists, and I haven't yet complied.
A high quality instant-read thermometer with probe.
0(0.0%)
Arkham Horror: Kingsport Horror Expansion.
2(50.0%)
I can always use more watches.
1(25.0%)
I hate to be so boring, but Target or Home Depot Cards, or XBLA points.
1(25.0%)
mac -- Best out of the ordinary halloween outfit (im thinking the Shamwow guy would be awesome...)
On the ShamWow tip, Zombie Billy Mays.
1(25.0%)
Some outdated pop culture icon, like a Spice Girl or Austin Powers.
1(25.0%)
A standard-issue costume wearing a costume. Like Cowboy Ghost or Vampire Construction Worker.
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- what is it with zombies all of a sudden?
Take one look at film profits from 28 Days Later through whatever turd Romero just squeezed out, the success of the Walking Dead comics and video games such as Dead Rising and Left 4 Dead.
1(25.0%)
As wisely put by my brother, a zombie outbreak is the ultimate badass fantasy. You get to beat people with bats, but they're slow so if things get really hairy you can escape. You're a survivalist, but there's still modern stuff around so it's not so bad.
3(75.0%)
The world is so hypercivilized and the average joe spends the majority of his life in no real danger. Zombies allow us to feed our savage side.
0(0.0%)
No real human can ever be a villain again lest other members of any demographic group that villian can be associated with, whether realistically or or a complete made-up stretch, cry racism.
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- what happened to pirates and ninjas?
Some people still actually care about these things. A friend of mine who is on Team Pirate says he got into a fight with a Ninja at the latest Pirate Day event he went to.
1(25.0%)
Ninjas were played out by 2002, and Pirates were always kinda lame.
2(50.0%)
Trends may come and go, but pirates and ninjas are forever.
0(0.0%)
The great thing about zombies is that they can be added to anything. Zombie pirates...zombie ninjas...zombie Billy Mays...
1(25.0%)
renob423 -- halloween by far the most over rated holiday? is the reality ever as good as the expectation of it? I don't have high expectations for Halloween, so I'm usually not disappointed. Most overrated holiday:
St. Patricks Day.
1(25.0%)
renob423 -- will rob zombie make halloween 3? will it be better than the original # 3? On a scale of 1-5, please rate your interest in this.
5 - omg I hope Rob Zombie will! He makes the best scary movies evar!
1(25.0%)
4 - I have enough vested interest in this film genre to apply some level of auteurism to it.
0(0.0%)
3 - That would be pretty cool.
0(0.0%)
2 - I just watch whatever shit they put in front of my face. It's October so a scary movie would be good I guess.
1(25.0%)
1 - The what now?
2(50.0%)
eideteker -- What does it say about me that I'm planning to try this out with some internet friends? That you're freaking paying attention, that's what. On a scale of 1-5, How badly do you want to do this?
3 - Not bad...not bad.
1(25.0%)
When you were a kid and the customary trick-or-treat bartering began after the night's hunting ended, which of the following candies did you consider the most valuable?
Which of the following measures did your parents take to ward off the possibility of razor blades or other dangerous additives being in your candy? Check all that apply:
We only went to houses we knew the owners of.
0(0.0%)
We went anywhere, but if we didn't know the person, we wouldn't eat their homemade things.
3(37.5%)
Every item had to be broken in half prior to consumption for inspection.
0(0.0%)
A cursory glace, checking for obvious tampering.
3(37.5%)
Whatever. Even way back when my parents knew that stuff was all urban legend horseshit.
2(25.0%)
Crappiest non-candy trick-or-treat giveaway:
Toothbrushes or dental floss.
1(25.0%)
Some loose change, or like that lady who lived on Calais Road, 10 pennies wrapped in cellophane.
1(25.0%)
Pretzels. If you're going to give out edible treats, do it right.
1(25.0%)
- Mood:Spooooooooooky
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eideteker -- Without the Friday Poll, my life would be __________.
Less busy from 9am-noon on Fridays.
2(28.6%)
Left to my own on important decisions without the input of at least two random people from the internet.
3(42.9%)
Without yet another of the things that make it worth living.
2(28.6%)
Pretty much the same. I mean, it's an inane little internet poll. There's always Farmville.
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- how often do you get a hair cut?
Whenever it gets so long I can't stand it anymore.
3(42.9%)
Two or three times a year.
1(14.3%)
On a regular basis.
3(42.9%)
renob423 -- do you go some place or diy?
DIY by someone other than me.
1(14.3%)
renob423 -- do you get the same haircut every time or do something new?
Always the same.
4(57.1%)
Usually the same with the occasional update.
3(42.9%)
Different every time.
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- does dye count as something new?
Only if it's at least 2 shades different than your normal color.
3(42.9%)
renob423 -- have you ever dyed your hair a "crazy" color?
Does black count as crazy?
1(14.3%)
renob423 -- have you ever shaved your head?
Yes - full bald/buzz.
2(28.6%)
Yes - only part(s).
2(28.6%)
What is the maximum standard shipping fee you will consider paying before choosing another retailer? (excluding big things like furniture and computers - standard things like clothes, games, etc.)
If the shipping ain't free, I ain't buying.
3(42.9%)
Biggest grammar peeve?
Plural/possessive apostrophe misuse.
3(42.9%)
Word confusion, such as sit/set, accept/except, then/than, etc.
3(42.9%)
FourSquare:
What a cool fun app to let my friends know where I am!
1(14.3%)
- Mood:calm
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eideteker -- I haven't dated since meeting someone online was scandalous. How does one do it? What do you need to know? What should one expect? Tips, tricks, or strategies? Based on personal experience...
Everyone dating online is apparently a wall-climbing wine enthusiast who likes fun. Make your profile stand out, but not too much. If you go the honest, witty route, you will end up with responses from nothing but weirdos.
2(33.3%)
When describing how awesome and action-packed your life is, make sure you imply that you have time for a relationship. If after describing how busy you are and the potential date asks when you could fit them in, have an answer beyond "I dunno."
1(16.7%)
Make sure you're good at carrying on an IM conversation. Frame your answers so that they lead to new questions or like responses. Do not accuse your potential date of being rude for not being engaged enough in your dead-end conversation.
0(0.0%)
Speaking of which, make a new IM handle for your online dating endeavor. You will want to be online at times when you're not being innundated with IMs from people who still want to carry on dead-end conversations with you after you called them rude.
0(0.0%)
Do not lie about your body type or use an outdated photo of when you were hotter, lie about whether or not you smoke (you look like a pussy when you admit you actually do), or brag about mundane things like the price of Coors Light cubes and Malibu Rum.
1(16.7%)
Make your first date for drinks, not dinner. If your date starts ordering water, it is not the time to suggest said Malibu Shots.
0(0.0%)
Do not suggest a movie for your first date. But if you do, do not reject standard bubblegum films (such as King Kong) on the complaint that they're "too long."
0(0.0%)
If your date calls in the afternoon before your plans complaining about a goddawful day in which she got a flat tire, a ticket and some other horseshit that has made her tired and cranky, do not pressure her into seeing you anway.
0(0.0%)
If she brings up a topic you have vested interest in, pay attention to verbal and noverbal cues to indicate you've gone beyond her understanding such as a glazed-over look or a comment like "wow, you know way more about Fantasy Football than I do."
2(33.3%)
renob423 -- why do people get so upset by not using turn signals? Check all that apply.
Because I can't read your fucking mind.
2(22.2%)
If you're going to shoulder your way into my lane, you could at least ask.
2(22.2%)
Granted, nearly everyone around me is in the running for the worst driver ever, but maybe if I knew why you were going so slow I'd give you some leeway.
3(33.3%)
So I know when your stupid ass is stopped in the left lane I should go around you.
2(22.2%)
renob423 -- do you use turn signals? do you ever not signal, like when nobody is around? do you need a signal on the freeway when nobody is close 2 u
Most of the time, but if there is nobody around or behind me, I might skip it.
2(66.7%)
On that topic, when one does use their turn signal, it means:
Lookout! Here I come! What? I used my turn signal!
0(0.0%)
I intend to turn or change lanes when the opportunity presents itself.
2(100.0%)
The other day, the first thing I did in the morning was fill a plastic tube with cat shit and deliver it to someone who was happy to receive it. Other recent examples of how nothing is quite how I expected it to be:
I impulse-bought a cauliflower.
0(0.0%)
We crossed a rubicon of nerdiness by allowing our friend to join our weekly D&D game via webcam.
0(0.0%)
A friend is having his 30th birthday party tonight. It was going to start at 10 but his earlier plans changed so it can start at 9. I am a mere 3 years older than him and the idea of having a party start at 9 on a Friday seems outrageous to me.
2(66.7%)
I'm no longer annoyed that my company makes us charge our work-related expenses on our personal cards and then submit for reimbursment. More charges means more AmEx points, and more AmEx points means more Home Depot gift cards.
1(33.3%)
- Mood:this guy has an iMac.
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eideteker -- Asking a girl out via facebook message: Total dweeb move, or the new smooth? Or?
Via Facebook message: no different than an email and neither smooth nor dweeby: neutral. Via wall post or comment? Awful.
3(50.0%)
If you know this person from Facebook, you most likely either know them for real or know someone who does. Go through the channels and do it the old fashioned way.
0(0.0%)
There never has been any smoothness to asking people out. Throughout history, all anyone ever wanted was to not seem like a dweeb doing it. The medium can neither harm nor help.
0(0.0%)
If you're going to ask her out via Facebook, go all the way and invite her to an Event called "Date with me".
3(50.0%)
renob423 -- harshest internet trolls - sports, politics, video games, or religion?
renob423 -- is the proper term troll or flamer?
Trolls and Flamers are two different internet entities. Trolls can troll Flamers and Flamers can flame Trolls.
3(75.0%)
renob423 -- have you ever trolled someone online? Every Friday morning for about 5 years now. when did you get online? Approximate year (and month if possible) and the age you were when you started regularly participating in the internet:
renob423 -- most epic troll you have ever seen? I've already pushed the envelope by putting up one write-in answer this week. ever see the movie troll 2 is it any good?
1 star - unwatchable.
0(0.0%)
2 stars - I sat through the whole thing then regretted losing those 2 hours of my life.
0(0.0%)
3 stars - A decent way to kill time on a plane or hung over Sunday.
0(0.0%)
4 stars - Great, but not the greatest.
0(0.0%)
5 stars - A modern classic; a must-watch anytime it shows up on TV.
1(33.3%)
I have never seen it.
2(66.7%)
What was your parents' position on sugary cereal?
B&. Non-sugary cereals only.
0(0.0%)
Available in moderation.
0(0.0%)
It was not an issue. We got whatever cereal we wanted as long as we ate it.
4(100.0%)
What is your favorite cereal as an adult?
Something super sugary.
1(25.0%)
Something non-sugary.
3(75.0%)
We have all seen people who even though they have a turn signal available to them, they choose not to use it but instead point their finger in the direction or lane in which they intend to turn. Does the pointing make the absence of turn signal more or less annoying?
Equally annoying.
2(50.0%)
Can you drive a stick shift?
I currently or have in the past driven a stick shift on a regular basis and am proficient at it.
2(66.7%)
I have driven stick a few times but am shaky at it.
0(0.0%)
I have been taught how to drive stick by circling an empty parking lot for a few hours on at least one occasion but wouldn't say I can drive stick.
0(0.0%)
I can not drive stick.
1(33.3%)
- Mood:chill
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October? Are you fucking kidding me? Rabbit, rabbit, I suppose.
segue -- When's the last time you were spanked on your birthday? In elementary school, there was this librarian, a sweet old Italian lady who on our birthdays would put us over her knee, spank us once for each year old we were and once again for good luck. It was, of course, all in innocent fun. What would be her fate today?
An emergency townhall meeting to discuss what is to be done about the 4' tall octogenarian predator who quietly lurks the elementary school library stacks waiting for the anniversary of her next prey's birth.
0(0.0%)
Put those reading glasses she wore on a chain around her neck to good work while she writes the requisite letters of apology to every child she abused.
1(16.7%)
Spend her summers taking minimum of 500 hours of sensitivity, sexual abuse, and proper conduct training.
4(66.7%)
Pack up her and all of the dozens of frog tchotchkes she had collected and send her ass to jail.
1(16.7%)
eideteker -- A friend of mine is making six figures. Yet he complains he has no money. Meanwhile, he's engaged to a woman who does nothing but shop on eBay all day using his account. Who do you like in the playoffs?
Her. Any guy who's dumb enough to let someone who's not yet legally tied to his money spend it wantonly isn't going to be smart enough to win this.
5(83.3%)
Six New York area figures? Let's be reasonable - nobody in or around New York is going to find someone willing to marry them unless those six figures are led by at least a 2 or 3.
1(16.7%)
She seems to be ahead of the curve on becoming a Real Housewife.
0(0.0%)
How many old tavern signs and cheap electronics accessories can she buy? At least two of those other figures must be going to someplace equally stupid.
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- redneck or green? not running the ac all summer
renob423 -- eating off paper plates to save water used in dishwashing
renob423 -- not washing bedsheets unless there is an accident
renob423 -- shooting a deer and eating it
Taking home the deer carcass you hit with your car and eating it
Re-using Cool Whip/sour cream/other tubs
At my party last weekend, I made ashtrays out of used cat food cans that I took the labels off of and put a bit of sand in the bottom.
This weekend, we're going up to the new casino in Bethlehem, PA for my brother's birthday party:
Compared to Atlantic City, there will be less posturing New York guidos and more Pennsylvanian osteoporosis-suffering slot players. This is a trade I can live with.
0(0.0%)
Expect the usual noodle bar with a dragon-themed name to be replaced with an Amish cafe featuring shoe-fly pie, pretzels and spaetzle.
0(0.0%)
While other casinos go for themes like Wild West or Hollywood, this one will feature the "Washington Crossing the Delaware" people-mover, The Bethlehem Steel Haunted Factory, and the "Don't get Munsoned" nickel slot pit.
2(40.0%)
If you really want to gamble, show up in a Cowboys jersey wearing a Mets hat.
3(60.0%)
Thinking about Real Housewives, and how the show would be more appropriately titled "The Rich Entitled Harpies of Bladdity Blah", what other show should be renamed?
Not Antiques Roadshow featuring Chumlee.
1(20.0%)
Truck Drivers Not In Actual Danger.
1(20.0%)
Omigod I Need To Clean My House Right Now.
1(20.0%)
I Agreed To Smuggle Drugs For a Stranger.
2(40.0%)
- Mood:lazy
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popespydie -- why aren't there monkeys in the US?
Clearly you haven't spent much time at Costco on a Saturday morning. There are plenty of monkeys wandering around the US in human clothes.
3(60.0%)
America already has enough of the cool stuff. Adding monkeys would be too unfair to the rest of the world.
1(20.0%)
Um, hello? Haven't you seen Planet of the Apes?
1(20.0%)
While the Monkey Gang show didn't quite deliver what I hoped for, it certainly drove home the benefit of being monkey-free.
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- best song written about rain? Funny you ask this, many of my favorite songs by a particular band are the ones about rain.
Have You Ever Seen The Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
1(20.0%)
Fool in the Rain by Led Zeppelin.
0(0.0%)
Red Rain by Peter Gabriel.
2(40.0%)
Here Comes the Rain Again by the Eurythmics.
2(40.0%)
renob423 -- how often does it rain where you live? Both frequently and infrequently enough that we're constantly under either a drought watch or a flash flood watch. if it never rained again, would you miss the rain? Ecological consequences aside:
Yes. There's something great about a rainy day or a cool rainstorm.
5(100.0%)
renob423 -- is snow better than rain?
No, I hate the cold.
2(40.0%)
Yes, as long as I don't have to drive or go to work.
3(60.0%)
renob423 -- do they have tornado warnings too often these days? They have too many CYA severe weather warnings in general these days. have you ever seen that movie twister? is it any good? I have not. If you have seen it, please rate it here:
1 star - unwatchable.
1(20.0%)
2 stars - I sat through the whole thing then regretted losing those 2 hours of my life.
0(0.0%)
3 stars - A decent way to kill time on a plane or hung over Sunday.
0(0.0%)
4 stars - Great, but not the greatest.
1(20.0%)
5 stars - A modern classic; a must-watch anytime it shows up on TV.
0(0.0%)
I have never seen it.
3(60.0%)
eideteker -- Should I bother attending the duelling Comedy Central rallies in DC next month?
You wouldn't be a very good smug hipster if you actually showed up.
1(20.0%)
Yes. You need to do your part to show the world that you think people who go to political rallies are stupid.
2(40.0%)
I wouldn't recommend it, but as a local, I avoid downtown DC anytime there's some sort of rally going on.
2(40.0%)
Yes. If two comedians who play political pundits on TV think it's a good idea, it's got to be.
0(0.0%)
Yesterday was my birthday. You know you're getting old when:
People joke that you're turning 21, 25, or 29 again.
1(20.0%)
You're no longer considered one of the "young people" at work.
2(40.0%)
When someone significantly older than you refers to someone else being "our age".
1(20.0%)
When your birthday party invitations have a clause about bringing children.
1(20.0%)
- Mood:chipper
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eideteker -- Best breakup song(s)?
Being with you is like living in a cave | You sucked the life out of me long enough | I'm the one who is going to be brave | Now get over here and pick up your stuff.
1(12.5%)
When you truly care for someone | Breaking up can be very sad | You'll find a new person just as fun | As soon as you work out the issues with your dad.
3(37.5%)
I reach for you and find you're gone | I know this feeling won't last long | The nights are cold without you in my bed | But I get better sex from the showerhead.
2(25.0%)
We knew one day it would have to end | Love like ours can't last forever | It's time to divide up our friends | But you can't have Jen because I'm fucking her.
2(25.0%)
renob423 -- when you wake up, does it take a while to get going and become fully with it, or do you wake up good to go?
Feet on the floor, ready to rock.
0(0.0%)
I'm in a daze for at least a half hour.
4(80.0%)
I'm awake and with it, but I am hypersensitive to noise, light or rigorous action for a while.
1(20.0%)
renob423 -- before bed, do you wind down gradually or just pass out going 60 to 0 in seconds?
I fall asleep right away.
0(0.0%)
I have to read or do something quiet before bed to wind down.
2(40.0%)
Either way, I toss and turn for a while before I fall asleep.
2(40.0%)
I feel like it takes me forever to fall asleep, but those who have slept with me say otherwise.
1(20.0%)
renob423 -- weekends: sleep in or not?
Get up. I have stuff to do.
0(0.0%)
I'd like to sleep in but my body/children have decided otherwise.
0(0.0%)
I'd like to be an early weekend riser but I can't pass up those few extra sweet, sweet hours of sleep.
1(20.0%)
renob423 -- sunday: hard to fall asleep or not?
No different than any other day.
3(60.0%)
Hard to fall asleep due to mental preparation for the week.
0(0.0%)
Hard to fall asleep due to two days of an altered sleeping schedule.
2(40.0%)
Beach vacation or mountain vacation?
What aspects of your college education do you use on a daily basis? Check all that apply.
I didn't go to college.
0(0.0%)
I went to college for a very specific field of study that I have since achieved a career in, so most of my study there I use daily.
1(10.0%)
Much of the content I learned during my classes comes up on a regular basis.
0(0.0%)
The occasional tidbit I picked up from a major course.
2(20.0%)
The occasional tidbit I picked up from an elective course.
2(20.0%)
The sociological lessons I learned from living in the dorms or with roommates.
2(20.0%)
The ethical lessons I learned from having to balance my school/work/life without the influence of my parents.
1(10.0%)
The general business/work lessons I learned from interacting with other students and the instructors.
2(20.0%)
Not a damn thing either way. I could have spent that time making money.
0(0.0%)
- Mood:happy
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calamine_tea -- What the hell am I going to do with these hot stones for the next 90 minutes?
Time for some Kobe!
0(0.0%)
Make a sauna for your Lego men.
3(60.0%)
Prepare for a possible career change to being a chef. Those nerve endings aren't going to singe themselves off.
1(20.0%)
Give yourself a nice perm, oldskool style.
1(20.0%)
mac -- How do the sight deprived pick up after their seeing eye dog? I feel like this deserves an 'as seen on tv' gimic....but then thats an issue too i guess. Come to think of it, I've never seen a seeing eye dog poop. They're well trained, but not that well.
The Post-Feed Bag: a sack that hangs on the dog's tail to collect what comes after you feed him.
1(20.0%)
No-No Labels: a doggy biscuit that contains a plastic tape identifying the doodie as coming from a service dog. Let the public know you're not inconsiderate!
1(20.0%)
The Boo Boo Buzzer: a pair of alarms, specially calibrated to detect dog waste odors - one for the dog's tail to alert the owner it's coming and another for their wrist to find it.
2(40.0%)
Doggie Bags: a specially scented plastic bag that affixes to your service dog's saddle bags that encourage him to pack his poop himself. Indulges your dog's natural urge to play with his own feces!
1(20.0%)
eideteker -- I keep getting misdelivered mail for someone who is working on "Edible toothpicks." I haven't alerted them to the mishap because it's hilarious to watch. What other products can I suggest to the team?
The Astro-Blood Pressure monitor: Check your beats and your vibes in one squeeze!
2(40.0%)
The Zapbrella: a shady patio umbrella with a bug zapper pole. Keep pests away from your picnic! Optional drop tray available.
1(20.0%)
Dashboard Trivia: an interactive audio game that plugs into your car stereo that reads brain-teasing questions and works with your stereo buttons for you to provide your answers. Keep your mind sharp and your eyes on the road!
0(0.0%)
Menstraware: the tampon coated with a special pH strip that tests for common STDs. Keeping you feeling fresh and knowing you're safe!
2(40.0%)
Suggested slogans for Edible Toothpicks:
Don't let that pesky pick keep you from eating your club sandwich one second longer!
0(0.0%)
Promote oral hygiene and increase your fiber intake in one stick!
4(80.0%)
A minty fresh breath and a minty fresh snack in one!
1(20.0%)
Never let chicken cordon bleu stab you again!
0(0.0%)
renob423 -- president with the coolest name?
Millard Fillmore.
1(20.0%)
Franklin Pierce.
2(40.0%)
Ulysses S. Grant.
0(0.0%)
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