While this weekend was no exception, and Tom, the walking-undead Multi-Action Blackjack dealer was very forgiving of them, my anti-math skillz showed themselves at the video poker game as well. My brother and I were playing Double-Down Video Poker, which allows you to play Hi/Lo if you win a hand to double your winnings, and to double again if you choose. I was playing the poker part of the game very well, but kept losing my money getting greedy on Hi/Lo. I had just lost my previous winnings trying to double my 8 into 16 quarters when I pulled a hand with two jacks and a joker. Held the three of a kind, pressed the deal button, then turned to consult my brother on his hand. My machine starts ringing and hemorrhaging quarters. I had pulled two more jacks: 5 of a kind. The payout for this was 400 quarters. I show my brother, he excitedly congratulates me and I was pretty happy too, but was still trying to figure out how much money I had just one. Okay, 25 cents...400 quarters, 40 divided by 25 is 1...carry 15...
I gave up and asked Mike, "so, this is like what, 17, 18 bucks?" No, he informs me, it was a hundred. I grew more appropriately excited, leaned back, smoked a cigarette and stared at my five jacks. To answer your question, no, this does not mean that I returned from Atlantic City this weekend $100 richer. This just allowed me $100 more to play with. I came out down, but not down much more than I would have spent on a busy weekend at home, so as far as I'm concerned, I didn't lose. I do want to figure out how to win though. I hear stories of people going gambling and returning with more money than they started with. I would like for that to happen.
Another consistency of the past to this weekend is my luck with the Addams Family. As I have previously mentioned, I am a Pinball Wizard of sorts. In high school, I worked over the summer at an open-air flea market harking and scooping Italian Ice. After work, calamine_tea, who worked there with me, and I would go to this arcade across the street to relax for a bit and I would play the Addams Family Pinball Game. And I am damn good at it. It is my alltime favorite Pinball game. This weekend, while waiting to meet some people at the Taj Mahal, I put $5 into the Addams Family nickel slot, and within 20 minutes, had earned $20 more. Creepy? Maybe. Kooky? Perhaps. But certainly altogether ooky.
My brother, following the same line of logic, figured if there was any slot machine he would excel at, it would be the Pac-Man one. These were very popular and very new, but we managed to find two of them buried in a corner of the Wild Wild West. Mike was unfamiliar with how the game would work, so applying my Addams Family knowledge, I showed him how to play. "You can play nine lines at a time, but I prefer three," I told him. Out of nowhere, this lady next to him chimes in, "but this is a NINE LINE GAME. It's not a three line game; you HAVE to play nine lines." I shrugged and said I found I had good enough luck with three and that didn't see any benefit to playing nine. "You obviously need to read a book about gambling. You'll never win that way." Thank you, crazy-nickel-slot lady. Really, now, who's the dumb one: us, for playing three lines at a time, or you, for putting $100 bills into a nickel-slot machine. While we walked away laughing at the deranged slot-jockey, I'm sure she was chuckling to herself about the silly rubes who only played three lines. But I do know I bought a very tasty margarita with the $5 I won from the Pac-Man game.
I also played the silliest game to ever hit a casino table. And no, I'm not talking about Casino War. It was called Table Slots. It played kind of like a bastard child of a slot machine and hold 'em poker: You're dealt 2 blind cards and three open cards. You choose the placement for the 3 open cards in the "reels", and then choose whether or not you want the fourth and fifth card to be your two blind cards or the dealer's one-open/one-blind cards. The game resulted in lots of pushes. While the dealer was confident that we were catching on to the rules, I'm not sure whether or not he really knew them either. sirrani mentioned to me after we had left that she noticed a sign that said that Table Slots was a new game in a trial period and that they were still "testing out the rules." So really, no one knows what's going on with that. It was certainly silly.
I had a great time this weekend. The hotel worked out perfectly, it seems that everyone else enjoyed themselves, and I do hope we can do it again. Even though I rarely come back with extra money, it's always a blast.
Editor's Note: It was in fact vivisectandrew that saw the sign about the Table Slot rules. Sunday morning was a shaky time of sleep-deprovation and bacon-overindulgence. Do forgive.