The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight

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This will come in handy in the Twenty-Teens.

When I was little, I thought being a 5th grader was the point of being old. Not in the bad sense of things are downhill from fifth grade, but in the good sense that being old meant when you were in Kindergarten: you were old enough to be cool.

After 5th grade, I thought 11th grade, Junior Year, was the point of being old.

Needless to say, I didn't anticpate the whole "I'd only be 16 Junior Year in a state where you have to be 17 to drive" thing. But I still thought it would be cool. And I guess I was kinda right. I remember my Junior Year of High School as one of my favorites.

However, when I was in 11th grade, I came up with a theory that stemmed mostly from the drudgery of waiting for my 17th birthday to roll around (which would be in September of my Senior Year): that it was going to take so long for my 17th birthday to happen that by the time it was done, I'd be 18 and have missed it. Therefore, since I will be missing an entire year of my life, how was I to know how long a year was for me? Clearly, time dimensions as we know them do not apply to a person who takes 2 years to get to their 17th birthday only to turn 18. So I figured I was as old as I wanted to be. At which point, I decided I was twelve.

A few years later, I was visiting my friends in Morristown during winter break in college. I was standing in front of the AMC in the Headquarters Plaza Mall waiting for someone to finish their shift, gazing blankly at nothing. A trio of young teenagers approch me, break my stare and ask me how old I am. Without thinking, I said "nineteen." They smiled and nodded, and suddenly the clouds clear and I realize that that was incorrect. "No!" I interrupted myself, "I am twenty-one." The children looked startled, looked at me like I was nuts, and stepped backwards away from me. Maybe it was my year progression discrepancy in effect, but I later assumed that the kids wanted me to buy R-Rated movie tickets for them, and either age I told them I was was old enough to do so. I'm not sure why they didn't want my help anymore.

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