July 6th, 2001


Vertically Integrating your Hamburgers for a New Milennium

I just got an email inviting me to an "Interactive Offsite Outing". What ever happened to the company picnic? Was it "phased out?"

My work day is spent with my headphones on. I need to do this because I am very social by nature and if I hear a conversation going on, I have a tendency to jump in. Adding to that, I will start tearing up the place if I have to sit through another one-sided conversation between the guy on the other side of my cube wall and his boss who doesn't seem to care whether or not the documents are faxed to him or emailed but he'll be landing at LAX at 4:30.

The only downside of this that I can see right now, at least, is that since I have my headphones on, I have no idea how much noise I make. I have been concerned in the past as to whether or not the little zooming motorcycle noises I make in my head while cutting and pasting things into excel are actually audible, but since I have been sick, I know I'm making noise. Coughing, sniffling, clearing my throat. Towards the end of the day yesterday, while listening to Abbey Road rather loudly, I pulled in the most satisfying, productive, throat vibrating, lawn-mower-sounding sniffle/snort, breathed a little clearer and went on about my business. It took me a good minute to wonder just how loud that must have been and how disgused everyone in the office must have been.

Then all I could think of was "LAX? 4:30? Sure. And you want them faxed?"
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