July 25th, 2001

JOY

My Miniseries Life

I really think that when NBC makes one of those six-hour long miniseries things about the 00’s like they did for the 60’s and 70’s, that I’m going to be a main character. The reality of this becomes more and more apparent to me every day.

Not only was I laid off by a pool-table having, foozball-playing, 35 hour work week, free sodas and bagels dot com, but last week, I received my letter from “Dubya” promising that he’ll be returning $300 of the dollars that the government overcharged me.

The clencher, however, came last Tuesday. While walking to the Burrito Brothers on lower Dupont Circle, I noticed a very familiar face smiling coyly back at me. On the door was a missing persons poster for Chandra Levy, stating where she had last been seen and asking for me to provide any information I had on her.

If only I had invested in the stock market and lost my ass last year, I’d have a straight flush.
  • Current Music
    Cornershop - When I was Born for the 7th Time
JOY

File that under S for Suck It

Thanks to the morons at my work opening any old file that comes their way, one of our offices got spanked big time AGAIN by ANOTHER virus. So the rest of us get an email that says how we got infected and how they are working to fix the virus.

Then at the end of the email, they said this:

2. Do not check or use any outside e-mail services from your laptop or desktop computer. This includes hotmail, yahoo mail, AOL, e-mail accounts you might have with your local ISP etc. For laptop users this applies to you whether you are using your laptop here in the office or from home. I know this is a hardship, but so is chasing down and removing viruses from our network.

Sure. I'll put that right on the top of my action agenda.
  • Current Mood
    cynical cynical
JOY

True Story

On my way from the store to the parking lot tonight, an old man was walking with a cane on the same sidewalk towards me in the opposite direction. We had not come close enough to each other yet to nod and say hello, but as we walked closer and I was preparing to make my obligatory polite nod and hello, the man speaks.

I swear to god this is exactly what he said. I recount this event with absolutely no hyperbole whatsover. These words actually left the old man's mouth:

"Oooh, la, la. That's a nice shirt."

I've never laughed so hard while walking alone in a parking lot ever.
  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly