August 16th, 2001

JOY

I feel like Tony Soprano

I was stricken with a touch of food poisoning last night following a delicious yet decadently fried Chinese food dinner (Sweet and Sour Chicken…how can something so good be so bad). I went to bed feeling a little queasy, but an hour and a half later, I found myself up to my chin in porcelain like it was college again. I had some trouble falling asleep again, worrying that I would have to spring out of bed once more any minute, but once I did fall asleep, I slept the sleep of the dead. Then I had the strangest dream.

I was in a bar. It was pretty divey. frockazulu, his mom, bobwhite, and coldblackncold were there. We decided to play a game of pool against some of the guys in the bar, and I agreed to be on Frock’s mom’s team. She suddenly pulls out about fifty bucks and slaps it on the table, thinking that she and I were going to win against these bar regulars. I was appalled, but figured I had the cash to cover my end if we lost, so I headed to the bathroom.

The bathroom was kinda dirty, so I was taking my time situating myself in it, wiping off the handicapped handlebar thing and generally being disgusted. Then I hear a smashedly drunken Bob outside the door, banging on it, and complaining loudly to nearby patrons that you just can’t seem to take a piss these days. I yelled that it was me and that I’d be out as soon as possible. I finished up, let Bob into the bathroom and headed back to the table.

We had already lost the game: in the time that it took me to try to sanitize the bathroom and pee, it was over. The bar regulars suddenly transformed from the average bar guys to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, and from the way Bob was carrying on with them after he got back from the bathroom, he had known them for years. The little party was breaking up, so we all left.

Then, the POV of the dream switched to an overhead shot of Bob, Jagger and Richards stumbling down the street outside the bar. Bob and Jagger were kinda carrying Keith Richards as they walked, as he was obviously impaired. Then, as if the whole thing was a commercial, the phrase:

NUMBER OF MAIN STREETS I HAVE WALKED DOWN FORWARD: TWO.

appeared across the bottom of the scene. Then I woke up.

At least Bob wasn’t being carried by Keith Richards. Then we’d know we have a problem
  • Current Mood
    sick sick