March 28th, 2002

JOY

Haze Clearing

Memory snippets from yesterday's trip are coming back to me. Particularly how when about an hour into the first leg of my trip (while I was seated in the middle middle seat) they started the in-flight entertainment and announced that the first segment would be an aerobics video. I thought either she was joking or I was hallucinating, so I asked the mom next to me and she confirmed, yes, we will be watching a plane aerobics video. She told me something about a woman who died on a plane from some sort of bloodclot she got from sitting still so long so they must be showing this to make us feel better about sitting down so long.

It turns out that while I was not hallucinating, the flight attendant was kidding in a sense when she announced that we will be watching plane aerobics, as plane aerobics is the BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE I have ever seen. They showed these four ethnically-diverse women sitting in a row in huge first-class style plane seats, each separated from each other by about a foot. The lead lady instructed the others to raise their elbows and stretch their hands (okay fine), then she had them roll their heads around on their necks (fine too), lift their shoulders up and down (uuuh...starting to tread into economy-class unrealistic), then she instructed them to stretch their legs straight out, lift their feet about a foot off the ground and rotate their feet around with their ankles.

I had to laugh out loud. I have since convinced myself that plane aerobics isn't really to prevent our in-flight deaths, but to allow airline executives to sleep at night. If they think we have enough room to do this stuff, they must think we're comfortable too. They're fine. They can do aerobics and stretch out. It's okay that we added more seats. They're comfortable. They've gotta be.
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