April 30th, 2002

JOY

April 30, 2001

I think I'm going to throw up.

The realization just came crashing to me that today is my one year anniversary at this place.

I have squandered an entire year of my life here. To think, about a month into my employ, I had a gut feeling that this wasn't the place for me and I dismissed it as newbie jitters. But here I am a year later with the same gut feeling.

And now that gut feeling is making me want to vomit. I can't think of anything I have gained since I've started working here. I have learned no new skills, I have done little of note, I've really only made one new friend that I consider more than a co-worker. I've been treading water for a year now.

Well, if this isn't motivation, I don't know what is.
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    nauseated nauseated