May 21st, 2002


The Uptown Theater

I love going to see movies at the Uptown. I was reminded of how much I love it when we saw Star Wars there on Saturday. The balcony is cool, the lobby is cool, the huge curved screen is cool, yes, but the best part about going there is leaving. You walk out from under the daylight-bright marquee onto the sidewalk and meander through pockets of people discussing the film. It's like living those 80's-style Broadway commercials where they'd show man-on-the-street interviews with people who saw the play and inevetably someone would say "Sheena Easton is a Babe!". But I guess not all of you remember those.

When I saw the re-formatted Vertigo there a few years back, it was raining when we left. A gentleman of the street was wearing a top hat, standing on the sidewalk holding an umbrealla with two bare spokes exposed. He approached me and blurted, "I'm not crazy." Damn right, I said. "Well, then you're not crazy either!" No sir. "See those people over there?" he said, pointing at the yuppie bar across the street, "THEY are crazy. They sit all day doing work they hate for a man they don't respect. That's crazy." Sure is, I said. "Hey!" he said, as if I had even considered walking away from such a gem of human being, "Do you know what the bathtub said to the toilet?"

No, I said.

"I get just as much ass as you do, but I don't take any shit."
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