September 21st, 2002


Actual Email sent to

Dear Comedy Central-

Crank Yankers is not funny. Puppets do not make bad Jerky Boys impersonations funny. Puppets do not make anything that wasn't funny any funnier. Please stop preempting funny shows for this crap.

Thank you for reducing the unfunny BattleBots from an unwatchable hour to an unwatchable half-hour. Thankfully, other channels put on something interesting on Tuesdays at 10.

Please do not stop showing Travel Sick. This may be the funniest show you have aired since Strangers with Candy. Please do not make the same mistake with Travel Sick.

Thank you
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    satisfied satisfied

Now that's easy!

"They're at it again! The extremist right wing has once again proposed slashing funds for fairness in order to selfishly keep more of their own money!

"These extremist actions will force our working families to work! Thank Gaia our activists have bravely blocked this brazen attempt to harass our kids!"

This speech generated with Brian Knotts' Democratic Party OneMinuteSpeechMaker v1.5

All it needs is a place to use "outraged", "offended", "celebrate", and "unify" and I think it's dead on.
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