November 13th, 2002

Dog Balls

Amazing Technithermal Coat

So I have this coat. It's brown with fake lambswool around the cuffs and collar--I'm sure you've all seen the type. This coat has the amazing powers of exceptional warmth...near-sweating warmth. But the unique feature about this coat is that its warming ability works ONLY when indoors. This very cuddly and cozy looking garment holds in all of the body's natural heat as soon as I step into someplace like the metro station or a deli, and locks it firmly around me like some sort of cocoon until the moment I step outdoors. And, as an added bonus, it allows any gust of wind to go straight through, allowing for maximum breathability and to replenish the supply of fresh cold air in the cocoon until I reach a new destination.

Things to Make My First Million On
1. Invisible Phone
2. Warm Inside/Cold Outside Coat
  • Current Mood
    cold cold