January 16th, 2003


What the hell is a Jigowatt?

When I was waiting for the garage guy to get my car after going to the gym last night, I heard loud yet muffled music coming from some poor-quality source. I looked at all of the cars nearby and no one had their windows down in the 25-degree weather. No cars were rattling. A woman walked in front of my sight path as I was trying to investigate the source of this awfully rubmly P Diddy song, when I realized the music had gotten louder. She was walking around with a boom box.

I began frantically searching for further evidence of the conclusion I immediately jumped to that when I had pushed the cross trainer to 88rpms I had in fact traveled back to 1985. Sadly this theory was hard to prove on first glace, as 14th Street is a time capslue of late 70's Buicks and the CVS that time forgot. But when two super-trendy Japanese chicks passed me in 80's retro gear, I knew for sure that I was still in the 21st century.

Just earlier that night, I was wondering why on that little display thing, the cross trainers tell me how many watts are being used. Heart rate? sure. Distance? definately. But watts? What are watts measuring? The answer, my friends is that cross-trainers are time machines. DeLorian went bankrupt years ago. Time machines must now be made out of fitness equipment.

Tonight, if I can get to 88rpms and 121 watts, perhaps I can buy that Sports Almanac from the future that I've always wanted.