May 2nd, 2003


All Game Weekend

I can barely stand to be here right now. And no, it's not for the usual reasons. This weekend is the AGW--The All Game Weekend. I am so excited I could just pee myself.

Tonight, at approximately 8pm, coldblackncold, my brother (referred to below as "Gamer", for those of you who do not know him), his wife, her brother and I will be heading up to Lower Gwynedd, Pennsylvania: a sleepy little burgh north of Philadelphia and the home of Kurt, Jennlynn, and the young Owen Niner. There are few reasons to go to Lower Gwynedd, Pennsylvania. The AGW is one of them. I can do little more justice to describing the weekend than Niner himself has in the rules sheet. The following are a few excerpts:

The AGW is a competitive event for Gamers only. Players will have their remaining childhood and college social skills tested to the limit with a day full of grueling contests and events. Wimps, panty sniffers, girly men and girly women are prohibited from participating. These may include but will not be limited to: All persons who think this idea is lame or stupid, think that Gamer has way to much time on his hands, own minivans (though there is a tiny bit of leeway here) or feel that we should all really grow up. Said persons will not be allowed to compete and will be expelled from the premises with as much force as Brian "Batman" Johnson may be deem necessary to use. Drinking beer is a REQUIREMENT on Saturday of the AWG. Exceptions will be given to those that are pregnant, have a signed Doctor's note, or have a pending drug test. Drinking beer while not engaged in official AGW contests is also encouraged and rewarded (See beer Points). All rules have been deemed fair for those born between 1967-1980. Complaints of "not having played this game in years" will not change the event schedule. Most people at some point have played all of the contests that make up the AGW during their lives. The skills and techniques required to play these games have been permanently engrained into everyone’s brain. Credit will be awarded for not only participating, but also for showing a level of proficiency over ones fellow competitors.

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And I'm expected to concentrate on work today.
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