October 9th, 2003


The Oasis Spa

The Spa. Oh god, the spa.

Carla Beth and I had appointments to get massages at the Luxor's Oasis Spa on Friday morning. We were asked to arrive 1/2 hour early, and after checking in, were given robes and complimentary juice, fruit, granola bars, coffee, and cappuccino. We sat and talked, waiting for our masseurs to come get us.

Written on my card, I noticed that my masseus' name was Elmo. I became afraid that I'd be getting a very large, hairy, grunty man; but luckily, a cute, wide-faced blonde called my name, bounced up to me, and introduced herself. I told her how her name made me a little nervous, and she giggled and asked if I was expecting a red muppet. I probably should have asked what Elmo is short or different for or how in the world she got a name like Elmo, but I had other things to focus on.

The massage was wonderful. Since I had my first one this spring, I am willing to say I'm hooked, and will stand by the oath I made to Carla that I'm going to get one any time I'm on vacation at a place where I can.

The other perk of getting the massage at the Luxor was that we were given full use of the spa facilities for the rest of the day. The Rock_Godling (™soarjubs) prevented Carla from taking full advantage of this, so I was left to soak all to my lonesome. But I could think of worse problems. They had a dry sauna, a steam sauna, a still hot tub, and a jacuzzi with waterfalls and stuff. I took a quick rinse in the shower before going into the tubs; and I noticed a sign in the shower stall that said "Orange Pekoe" or something like that, but didn't pay much attention to it.

I went into the steam sauna first, hoping to blast my cold out with a nice long huff of hot steamy air. I had never been in a steam room before, and was mildly unimpressed with the level of steam and heat when I first got in. Within seconds, the pipes kicked on, and a fresh blast of steam came shooting out. I moved over closer to the pipes so I could be in the line of fire. I sat, taking deep breaths, holding the steam in my congested chest. I began to feel even more stoned than I had immediately following the massage. Between alternating from a mouth to a nose breath, I noticed my skin starting to feel prickly. Then very prickly. The feeling was identified as the feeling one gets on their hands when straining pasta or something--I began to panic that I was getting steam burns. But the pipe kept on pumping. "It can't burn me," I thought, "the pipe will stop. Gotta ride it out." So I sat. And breathed. And worried. And the second I was about to get up and leave, the second I couldn't take the heat anymore, the second I was about to give up, the pipe stopped and the steam hung in the air.

I sat in the steam room for a while longer before switching to the dry sauna and finally the whirlpool. The clock was ticking, and there was plenty of gambling to get done, so I stepped out of the pool and back to the showers. The other sign I noticed during my first shower was that I could ask for a razor from the front desk, so I picked one up and got ready for a nice slow shave. There were two women in standing the row of showers, opening the doors, and talking about how they 'tried that one before'. Suddenly, the Orange Pekoe sign made sense. I asked her if that was what the shampoo/body was scent was, and indeed, it was, and she said each stall had a different scent.

HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN, I HAVE ARRIVED. Eight showers? Each with different scents?!?! And I've only taken one?!?! I took my sweetass time picking out which scent to lavish myself in next, and the winner was Mint. I decided at that very moment that we would be taking full advantage of our day's worth spa privileges and coming back later that afternoon when it was time to get ready for the wedding reception dinner.

I left the spa in a clean and refreshed coma, wandered through the pool area and bumped into Mick. We indulged in a few choice items from the McDonalds Dollar Menu before parting ways: he wanted to return to the poker room, and I had plenty of casinos I wanted to see. I spent the day roaming around, and won about $75 at Blackjack, but all I could think about were those six untried scents. All that gambling was making me dirty and I had to have a few more showers.
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