October 28th, 2003

JOY

Burrito Bōl = Burrito SALAD

Upon being indoctrinated in the The Cult of Carbohydrates, my dining options were signifigantly altered. Not diminished, per se, but changed. For example, I can no longer partake in the massive Chipotle Burrito, but quite happily order the Burrito Bōl. Basically, take yer burrito innards, dump 'em in a bowl, and bingo. Bōl.

Now, what does this call to mind to the average consumer? What other pre-existing mexican food product is a lot like the insides of a tortilla-wrapped foodstuff dumped in a bowl?

That's right. A taco salad.

So why is it so goddamned hard for me to get a little lettuce in my goddamned bōl? I approach the tortilla-warmer ask for my bōl sans beans and rice, and sashay down the line. When I get to the fixin's area, I ask for salsa, cheese, sour cream, guac, and (I quote) "lots of lettuce". Salsa? fine. Cheese? fine. Sour cream and guac? no problem. But when it comes to the lettuce, the Chipotle employee inevitably sprinkles the same amount of lettuce in my bōl than they would in a burrito. I stop them politely and ask if I may have "more lettuce. A lot of lettuce, please". sprinklesprinkle "can I have some more lettuce, please? A lot of lettuce--like a salad" sprinklesprinkle. I've actually gone so far as to tell them to just keep putting lettuce on there until I tell them to stop, and they either give me this "GOD IN HEAVEN WHY WOULD YOU WANT LETTUCE IN YOUR BŌL" look, or get pissed off and mutter something.

I'm not buying it that they don't understand me either. mas lechuga and more lettuce are pretty much the same words. But every time I'm in there it's a tooth-pull. It was getting to the point where I was afraid that I would be burrito-salad-less from now on.

Until today. Stumped on what to get for lunch, I wandered around for a while and remembered having passed a Baja Fresh the last time I went wandering in that direction. I went in, ordered the tostada salad. Presto. All burrito salad; no headache. The tide of the "Fresh Mex" battle may just be turning...
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