December 11th, 2003

JOY

The Fake Paper

My recent disinterest in my book has inspired a new interest in The Fake Paper. I have been bothered by this thing since the first day it was handed to me, and have made the occasional offhand diatribe about its remorseless pandering to the 18-35 year-old, its barely-veiled political bent, and how its absent cost allows for total saturation and a continuation of the "normalization" of leftist media. I refused to read The Fake Paper for many months for the same reason I don't read the regular Washington Post, and it's not because it costs 10 cents more than the other papers: I don't read it because I personally, politically, and morally object to it. Why would I start ditching those principles just because it's free?

Then I bought a boring book and started taking The Fake Paper from the outstretched hands of the plucky homeless guy at my metro stop once again. Boredom: 1, Principles: 0.

I was going to make an entry on Tuesday highlighting my Favorite Blatant Liberal Bias Quote of the day, but upon searching the internet for a link to provide, I found that The Fake Paper is not published online. The first Yahoo result I *did* find was to a fellow Livejournaler who shares a similar disdain for The Fake Paper, and a few fantastic articles about it. Then I got distracted by stuff about Batman.

Favorite Blatant Liberal Bias Quote of December 9, 2003 you ask?:
"Republicans pushed a tardy $373 billion spending package through the house on Monday despite conservative objections that the measure had to many hometown projects and Democratic complaints that it would hurt workers." Tardy? For what? Dinner? When was it due? Will we be losing a letter grade for each day the package is tardy?

After a particularly outstanding gem of a photograph in yesterday's edition, I did a little more digging and found that The Fake Paper is available for download in PDF form. I couldn't let a picture like this lie. Granted, the folks at the FP decided to caption it all wrong. I'm not sure if it should be called "1000 Words on Why The Democrats Will Lose 2004" or "Young Democrat In Wool Hat Shouts At Poster". Feel free to supply your own caption.

I think it's safe to say I'm fast becoming obsessed with this thing. Last night's purchase, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, may take a little longer to read than anticipated.
  • Current Mood
    geeky geeky
JOY

Tasting My Size 9 1/2's

So tonight: I'm at coldblackncold's tremendously tame office Christmas party. I'm chatting with one of his closer work friends, and we get to one of those mmm-hmm-sip-drink-nothing-to-say moments. I turn to his friend and say:

"so...when does the pole dancing start?"

He looks at me for a second and says, "I really don't think you should make judgments on people until you get to know them"

"Who?!?!" I ask.

He says, "someone here...you know..."

"What are you talking about?"

"She's a nice girl. You should get to know her before you say things."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"I'm making a joke about how this is a lame party and when is the craziness going to start.

"Oh. I misunderstood. I thought you were talking about Lisa."

"What? Okay, let's start this joke over again. 'When's the conga line gonna start?'"

"Okay, that's better."

Then Mick's other friend asks me if the guy divulged where she strips.
  • Current Mood
    embarrassed embarrassed