December 17th, 2003


Let's Do Happy Hour Sometime

During last Tuesday night's class at the gym, our instructor told us that she wouldn't be in class the following week because she'd be on vacation. Two of the gals who regularly go and I had been trying to find a good night to go have a few drinks together and we figured last night, since the instructor wouldn't be there, would be as good a night as any to go. We made plans to meet at the gym at 6 and go to a martini bar one of them knew about.

I need to be a little more trusting of people. All day yesterday I just knew they were going to stand me up. I had felt kind of stupid asking them if they wanted to go hang out sometime. They have friends. Why would they want to hang out with some random person they go to the gym with?

I hate to sound like my mother and try to trace everything back to a singular life changing moment, but I don't remember feeling this way before one summer when I was temping in North Carolina. I had worked at the same place for about a month, and then left to go backpacking in Europe. They were all so nice, we all got along so well, and they threw a little going-away for me and left me with "when you get back, we should all go to lunch together!" So, a week or so after I got back I called them to see if they wanted to go to lunch sometime soon and the response I got was a mix of studders, ums, "we're really busy"s and "I really don't know when"s.

I learned that "let's do lunch/happy hour/dinner sometime" is just an empty nicety that people say. I haven't believed anyone when they say something like that, and maybe I've upset a few people by not pursuing any such offers, but I assume they're just being nice, and I don't want to bother anyone or make a fool out of myself like I did with those temp people. Needless to say, I haven't hung out with too many new people in a long time.

The girls showed, and we had a great time. They said they had both been looking forward to hanging out in a non-gym setting all week. We chatted the whole time and I had a lot of fun. I don't want to turn this into a regret thing; I'd rather not focus on regretting opportunities I was too scared to take in the past. I feel good, and I'm happy I went for it.
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