October 5th, 2004


Pop Culture Whore Stock Report

Due to the recent addition of the XboX Listing Qualifications into the PCW Market, investors can look forward to a strong opening season of video game holdings. The first true mover and shaker to hit the PCW Market is Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (PCW: KTR), the sort of blue chip that Lucas and Company needs to recoup the string of losses suffered since the turn of the 21st century. Pair the success of KTR and the climbing shares of the animated Star Wars: Clone Wars (PCW: SWCW) and smart money would have Lucas bail on film and focus his portfolio on his gaming and animation futures.

Another new factor in the volatility of the PCW Market is the introduction of the TiVo Index. Pop Culture investments could never before be so closely and widely covered. Holdings that had previously been relegated to pennies or failed to be listed simply because of a failure to meet viewing requirements are being listed at a dizzying rate. The results of which are not all good.

Selling high after a low buy, Airline (PCW: SWA), is delighting shareholders with a consistent return. A showcase of assholes you've seen and been, SWA is certain to guarantee dividend upon dividend. But not with paper receipts.

Sadly, too-rapid growth with no substance is often the fate of these hotshot fast-rising stocks, and Growing Up Gotti (PCW: WOP) is no exception - shares are nearly worthless after a recent reverse split. "We had the reality thing down, sure," a Soldier and Gotti Representative, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, reports: "but when you got nothing else other than a bunch of incomprehensible asswipe kids and a mother who does nothing about 'em except to threaten to call someone else, ya got nuthin. Whaddyagonnado."

And finally, Lost (PCW: SOS) is everyone's gain.
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