June 2nd, 2005

JOY

The Worst: Week 7 - FINALS!!!

Week 7 of The Worst ends today at 4pm.

The Finals. For seven weeks, we have drilled down the Dirt Devils and we are left with veritable Shop Vacs of suckage.

It's the final four. Two of these Hoovers will be left in the dust; two will go on to suck tomorrow like they have never sucked before. Who will it be? IT'S UP TO YOU.

Paris Hilton: we all know she sucks. And judging from the pictures on her hijacked Sidekick, she sucks often and generously.

Anna Nicole Smith: boy does she suck. But after a few years of sucking down painkillers and pickles, she switched to stimulants and is back to her early-90's sucking weight. She's like the George Forman of suck. Can she knock out Paris like she knocked out the fat?

Michael Jackson: I heard a great joke this weekend: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Collapse ).

Celine Dion: Vous sucez. If you think posing for pictures with cute little babies is going to make us think less about how much you suck and how cute the babies are, you're wrong. You suck alone; you suck with babies.

For the full bracket, please visit The Worst.