September 2nd, 2005

MEJ BANNED!

The Benevolent Soarjubs grants you your weekly "poll"

Poll #563310 This poll is a breath of fresh air if you ask me

What is your favorite color?

Coral
5(23.8%)
Taupe
3(14.3%)
Kind of a Teal-ish Lavender
13(61.9%)

What is your favorite direction?

Right
13(61.9%)
Left
8(38.1%)

There is one cookie left in the cookie jar, do you:

Eat it
13(61.9%)
Punch it
3(14.3%)
Crumble it
1(4.8%)
Take out for a night on the town
4(19.0%)

You take the cookie out for a night on the town, do you:

Eat it
7(33.3%)
Punch it
3(14.3%)
Crumble it
3(14.3%)
Go see "Le Miserables"
8(38.1%)

You go see "Le Mis" with the cookie, and it talks loudly throughout, do you:

Eat it
6(28.6%)
Punch it
10(47.6%)
Crumble it
1(4.8%)
Put your hand on it's thigh
4(19.0%)

After "Le Mis" you and the cookie go out for drinks, do you:

Eat it
5(23.8%)
Punch it
1(4.8%)
Crumble it
2(9.5%)
Get it really wasted on beer
13(61.9%)

You get home to your apartment, and the cookie disrobes immediately after the door closes, do you:

Eat it
10(47.6%)
Punch it
4(19.0%)
Crumble it
7(33.3%)

I say "Toe-May-Toe", you say:

"Toe-mah-toe"
5(23.8%)
"Toe-nay-doe"
2(9.5%)
"Too-na-sam-mitch"
5(23.8%)
"Muh-Toe-Hurtz"
9(42.9%)

In your humble opinion, Jerry Seinfeld was a:

Comedian
18(100.0%)

Which smells the best?

My finger
9(45.0%)
My doctor's finger
1(5.0%)
My Grandpa's finger
3(15.0%)
Ron's finger
7(35.0%)

What is the most memorable weapon from the silver screen?

The Lightsaber: Star Wars
10(50.0%)
The Glaive: Krull
2(10.0%)
Chair: Chair [a.k.a. "Chairs"]
4(20.0%)
Huxtablaster: Cosboscide 2 - Deathflazm
4(20.0%)

You are Conan the Barbarian, what is best in life?

To crush your enemies
3(14.3%)
To see them drive before you
0(0.0%)
To hear the lamentation of the women
2(9.5%)
All of the above
16(76.2%)

Who rules Barter Town?:

MEJ BANNED!

Adios Amoebas

I have to say I'd be lying if I felt this whole thing had been a successful venture. You see, I came in here for you: The people of maeincarnate's friend list.

The simplest way to explain why I have to leave is that you are simply not ready for what I have to offer you in the way of raw, unmitigated talent. The things I, Soarjubs, can open your eyes to would scramble your tiny brains like the most tender of eggs. I give you a taste, and you bite the hand that feeds. I even tried, much to my own disgust and self-loathing, to sink somewhat near your fetid, excretory level of humor. Your poppy little album reviews, a spectacular poll (if I may self-toot), and the freedom to praise me as often as you'd like...all were thrown back in my face like a bowl of chicken soup with a hair in it. Well you know what? That damned hair was magic. It was so freaking awesome it would melt your face off and show you how things really work in this big ol' Yooniverse. You don't want that hair? Fine. You don't deserve it. You deserve poop soup (or some equivalent).

I guess what it boils down to is that I totally tried to help you all.

You deserve maeincarnate. Maybe someday you'll be worthy of soarjubs, and he will come riding back into this electronic arena on the back of his spiked robo-stallion, replete with laser lance/electric guitar combo and a really cool knight's helm with a dragon on top and a wireless mic on the inside or something (it would all be chrome).

Until then, you stink.
Here, have her back.


It's been your pleasure,
Soarjubs.

(this is what I look like)
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