Thanks to everyone who submitted questions last week. Seeing as I just this morning got my shitpile at work down to one list, I certainly didn't have an entire poll in me today.
funboytim: How do I relieve the itching and burning?
Petroleum Jelly and a Heating Pad.
You must first accept that the burning and itching is from WITHIN.
Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
bobwhite: WANT TO GO HOME?
Sure, we all do. Work sucks. But as productive members of society, we must muddle through in order to perpetuate the lifestyle to which we have become accustomed.
Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me.
chaoticgoodnik: Snakefish or walking catfish?
Whatever it takes to drive all natural life forms out of Maryland.
And when there was no snakefish, we ate walking catfish.
demoninmyskull: Miracle Whip or Cool Whip?
The thought of putting mayonnaise on ice cream sickens me.
Vice versa. Although not so much because Cool Whip would even be delicious mixed in Tuna Salad.
Cool Whip IS a Miracle. Duh.
These products are all well and good, but under no circumstances can they be huffed. Give me Reddi Whip any day.
pooplord: what is your favorite type of sandwich? I like salami and gouda!
Thank you for providing a question, pooplord
, however, we will focus on the answer part.
Think you're going to pick this answer? Think again!
Both salami and gouda cheese often come wrapped in wax or plastic of some kind. Is this sandwich with or without said inedible casing?
Salami and Gouda: it's a Hickory Farms Gift basket between 2 slices of bread.
friendship7: Worst thing a significant other has ever said to you?
"That'll be $75."
"I'm sorry...um...J...Jason, right?"
"Guys, I'd like you to meet my...erm...friend."
htothem: How much does Megan need to quit her punkass job?
The job hunt is a bear. Keep looking and you'll get out of there soon.
All jobs suck. It's a matter of finding the suck you can best deal with.
No, YOU'RE out of order. The WHOLE FREAKING SYSTEM is out of order!
absolutcalm: Favorite Ghetto Resturants
[INSERT NAME HERE]'s Subs, Chinese, Burgers & More
That scary Hardees.
frockazulu: Does how a man walks count for/against him? (the answer is yes. So we will rephrase the question: which unacceptable walking style detracts more from the man?)
Too much slouch.
The pre-step heel perk.
Too short steps (too short a stride).
tarpoWhat about "Muff Diver" or "Dick Forte: When the Alamo just isn't enough"
Sir, this doesn't make sense. Nor is it a question.
Muff Diver: The Erotic Adventures of Jacqes Cousteau
"What's a Dick Forte?" (French pronunciation required)
You thought the Alamo was bad? I hear men went down by the dozens at the Dick Forte.
renob423: how old were you when you realized there was no santa?
To call it a realization is a little presumptuous. The information was thrust upon me.
I knew for years, but I held on to the elaborate fantasy until I was too big to fit on the store-Santa's lap.
There hasn't been a Santa since he was sucked into a jet engine in 1968.
THANKS, Man. Thanks a LOT.
soarjubs: Chicken, Pork, Beef or Lamb: What makes the best armor?
Chicken: It really puts the Breast in Breast Plate.
Pork: +3 vs. Jews and Muslims
Beef: Masterwork Searing provides fire resistance.
Lamb. So tender and supple, you never suffer an armor penalty!
Please give me more questions--it's going to be another very busy week for me next week, plus this was really fun for me and I hope all of you.