Man oh Man. It's nice to be back. I'm starting to feel like myself again. FRIDAY POLL WOO!
Quick demographic check: did you or did you not have Skidz?
I did, and I loved them.
I did, and I was cool enough to be indifferent towards them.
I did not, and I coveted them.
Naw, but Dad did. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
I have come to the calculated conclusion that, with the exception of Elaine Bennes, female characters in comedies are less funny than male characters. There are plenty of funny women in the world, so why is that?
Comedy just isn't a chick thing.
Most of the writers are men and don't understand women.
Female characters are usually limited to jokes revolving around periods, relationships, and child-raising.
It's a numbers game: there are fewer female characters than male, so the per-character proportion appears more severe.
Most frustrating and/or infuriating game from the Nintendo Entertainment System library:
Last night, I saw Serenity. By the end, I wished I could replace all memories of Revenge of the Sith with it. If you could do that with one of the following pairs of films, which would you choose?
Erase all memory of Sideways
with some other mastruabatory baby boomer fantasy.
Erase all memory of Corky Romano
with stock footage of a cow chewing on hay (Okay, nobody saw that. But him singing A-Ha in the car? You'd never have to think about that shit again).
Tell me about your alarm clock
Red Light digital
Green Light digital
Some other color digital light
Good ol' fashioned hands & gears
A combo digital-hand clock
I wake up to:
Buzzer/chime/etc. alarm sound
Who the fuck is Bai Ling and why in god's name is she relevant?
Hollywood types inflate the importance of nobodies in order to fabricate the in-the-know hierarchy upon which they feed.
People love hot-bodied chicks with freakish facial features. (See also: Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz)
All those submitted questions were great. From now on, there will be a space in every Friday Poll to submit questions. Such as this space here:
And last but not least, a question from pantload: Whenever I watch one of those fake documentary movies like 'Best in Show', 'A Mighty Wind', etc, I feel like...
A. Finding every asshole who thinks these cinema turds are funny and fighting them.
B. My penis is inverting and trying to burrow into my abdomen to excape the non-funny.