Here it is, the last Friday Poll of 2005. I'd say it brings a tear to the eye, but who am I kidding, this crap makes me cry every week. And with that, I'm off to DCA to spend NYE in NYC with VJ.
clockwatcher -- what do you do when people try to talk to you on the airplane?
Start pounding on the Stewardess button.
What I did when I was ten and my friend and I thought we'd be all badass at the mall: pretend to speak another language.
Clear my throat and belch.
Talk back, but entirely in elaborate yet believable lies.
htothem -- What makes coffee so damn delicious?
Put enough cream and sugar in anything and it will be delicious
I have a feeling the fields in Columbia aren't necessarily segregated, if you catch my drift.
Anything that costs $45 a gallon better be.
dreaming_soul -- whoohoo
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Right back at'cha, babe.
twicketface -- Why does Maury Povich exist?
For the same reason the rest of us exist: Ass.
Mr. and Mrs. Povich, and one memorable night in the Catskills.
For all Yin there is Yang. Just who his Yin is, we'll never know.
Maury Povich is still alive?
absolutcalm -- What country should we invade NEXT year?
Belgium. It's been a while since they've been mowed over.
Indonesia. They should be good and weak from the Tsunami still.
Greece. Uzo for All!
Burkina Faso. What a shitty name for a country.
demoninmyskull -- Flu shots, are they just a scam to spread misery?
Misery, no. Pathogen-based FBI tracking devices, yes.
It was a test of the Placebo Effect to see how people would react if they were told they got injected with the flu virus when they really were injected with Caffeine Free Diet Sprite. It got out of control.
Like "old lady gives credit card number to scammer on phone" Flu Shots are an urban myth created to make old people panic.
Flu Shots are the real deal. I get one every year and I never get sick.
verymandy -- Oh my God Becky. Look at that butt. Woop. There it is! Woop. There it is! Look at that girl with the daisy dukes on. Can I see that tootsie roll?
It is so big. She looks like one of those rap guy's girlfriends. But. Who understands those rap guys.
Tag Team, back again.
Get up and roll just make that tootsie roll
soarjubs -- Is this question too "edgy"?
Give it a mowhawk and a wheelchair. We are NOT getting sued!
As soon as the question was on Vh1, it lost all the edge it ever had.
chaoticgoodnik -- This is a complete waste of a question. I got nothing.
And you will get nothing in return.
observacious -- Do you remember that clever thing I was going to write?
I do, and man it was funny.
How's that working out for you?
Cut out a few of the slurs and it should be ok.
Lady, it's the Friday Poll. Not some damn Psychic Friend.
eideteker -- I spent Christmas in Aruba. Do you a) hate me b) envy me c) want to be me d) all of the above?
Did you meet Charlie from Aruba, that adorable islander who does those clever radio commercials?
Envying you and wanting to be you are kind of the same things, aren't they?
Nothing says Christmas like a Pina Colada in one of those bars in a swimming pool.
d) all of the above
renob423 -- was 2005 a good year? (Mej note: let's do this one in classic Scale of One to Ten, with one being 1929 and ten being 1999)
Mean: 6.83 Median: 7 Std. Dev 2.68
funboytim -- What element of popular culture will be "Sooo 2005!" in 2006?
Charity Rubber Bands
Those colorblock iPod commercials and sight-gag references to them
Friday Polls (ouch!)
Is it possible to have a clean setup/punchline joke that is actually funny?
Yes, but only if a pun is involved.
Yes, but only if there's some serious innuendo.
You can post a question but it won't show up until next year (har har)