bobwhite -- Where am new job
Dunno. Check the interwebs.
Job am where Bob least expect.
From the looks of that "sentence", a gas station.
WORK FROM HOME MAKE $100 AN HOUR.
twicketface -- What will be the next technological advancement for bicycles?
Nitro charge buttons to get them the hell out of the way of traffic when there isn't a bike lane to use.
Patented seat cushion technology that reacts with lamo lycra biker gear to provide the wearer with an unfortunate rash.
Electrodes that shock the cyclist when they illegally pass through a red light, ignore turning cars, or otherwise endanger themselves in a way that their wellbeing is the liability of drivers.
EnviroShield™ the world's first weightless elemental-resistance field.
renob423 -- one time 6 years ago i saw a minivan engulfed in flames and it was the coolest thing i've ever seen, have you seen something equally as cool or cooler?
In college, I saw a squirrel trying to carry an entire Taco Bell bean burrito from near a trash can into the woods.
The episode of Flavor of Love where that chick shit herself.
The bartender last night told me about when he saw Winger, some dude in the audience hocked a lugie and it landed right in Kip's mouth.
absolutcalm -- How much of a dork am I for actually wanting to see Eric Bana as Simon Belmont in a Castlevania movie?
Not a dork at all. I got excited just thinking about it.
The level of dork who'll fall into the same crap trap every time they make a new video game movie. Like all video game movies, it sounds awesome now, but man are they going to fuck it up.
More dorky than being excited for Spiderman 3; less dorky than 12:01 Lord of the Rings.
Wanting to see Eric Bana as Simon Belmont doesn't make you a dork. Posting a rant on your journal if they actually made the movie and cast someone completely inappropriate for the role (such as Ryan Phillipe) would make you a dork.
anonymous1327 -- why aren't all poles on monday to make monday suck less?
Because they're on Friday so that there's nothing else on LJ that day.
The Friday Poll is a reward for a week completed, not some sort of incentive to get started.
Unlike Friday morning, there's usually work to do on Monday morning.
Uh, huhuhuhuhuhuhuh. Suck less pole on Monday.
friendship7 -- What's the next pending disaster?
Lindsay Lohan's little sister.
Any one of this fall's new Lost-clone dramas.
The next action-movie themed Slurpee flavor.
Somebody figures out that smoking is actually good for you, and all those mommycoddlers who banned smoking in bars and make those asinine commercials will have to figure out something to protect the rest of us from.
coldblackncold -- Panthro vs. Storm Shadow on top of the Empire State Building during the historic battle between King Kong and the biplanes.
Storm Shadow. The ninja's zen calm will allow him to concentrate during the chaos, and he may even squeeze off an arrow or two to help out Kong.
Panthro. He's a ninja and a negro. A ningro, if you will. And a mechanical brain genius. And what kind of ninja wears white anyway?
observacious -- Bludgeon, stab, shoot, or strangle?
Bludgeon. From punching to the lead pipe, nothing's more gratifying than a bone-crunching thud.
Stab. It's like bludgeoning, but with the extra satisfaction of the blood splatter.
Shoot. When you want to say it right, say it with a giant steel cock in your hand.
Strangle. Nothing says you care like making something happen with your own two hands.
eideteker -- Solve for y where y = -0.4n and where n satisfies the expression "Mr. T n my balls."
y = -0.4(polished)
y = Mr. T did what to whose balls?
I pity the fool who tries to do algebra.
subbes -- Is it possible to get milk poisoning?
You've clearly never tried to sit in the same room with a lactose intolerant a few hours after pizza. Trust me. It's possible.
But I drink plenty of ...malk?
This week we learned we can get spinach poisoning, so I don't see why not. We should all stick to Pop Tarts for a while.
It's absolutely possible. The only way to avoid it is to get it directly from the source, Tom Green style.
soarjubs -- When you scratch around/upon your private parts do you ever smell your hand after?
I do, and am willing to share it with anyone willing to have a whiff. Mmmmm. Butterscotch, yo. That's the best.
Yeah, but I pretend to check my nails or something.
Of course. Anyone who says no is a liar.
If only liars say they've never smelled their own stinkpalm, let me be a liar.
The Friday Poll mania is spreading. Please welcome Jim, our latest LJ Free Submitee: How long can take-out chinese stay in the fridge?
With the proper combination of laziness and willpower, it can stay in there forever.
And what's the deal with take-out food? I mean, you don't really take it out...they should call it "bring-in" food!
3-5 days. If transferred to a Tupperware-style container, 5-9 days.
This begs the question, when you remove leftovers from your fridge that you know damn well have been in there way too long, do you smell it anyway?
From Evan: Best survial/horror/dystopian future fantasy? Let it be noted that Mr. Sass-Man added a "Costner not included" clause for his question. Bastid.
Postnuclear Scavenger. Roam the earth searching for survival. Total dependence on self from brains to brawn. E.g. Mad Max, Six-String Samurai.
Slow Zombie Outbreak. A neverending battle for your life that as long as you keep your wits about you, you may actually have a shot at winning. E.g. the original Romero zombie flicks.
Humans Dethroned. Whether by machines, aliens, or some environmental/natural disaster, humans have been knocked off the top of the food chain and must claw their way back up however they can. E.g. Planet of the Apes, 12 Monkeys.
Man vs. Multinat. The Fatcats have fooled the masses and you're the only one with the brains and the stones to infultrate the corporation and expose the secret. E.g. Soylent Green, Robocop.
Best Kevin Costner fantasy:
Robin Hood. Rob from the rich, create woodland paradise.
Dances with Wolves. Get in touch with your inner savage.
The Postman. It's like Mad Max with mail.
Waterworld: A neckload of vagina.