absolutcalm -- I waited on a guy who bought a chrismas tree from Target.com and got a toaster oven; we then burned his med-rare steak. What did this man do to Santa to deserve this life?
One year his mom thought it would be clever to give him coal in his stocking. The next year he exacted his revenge on Santa by leaving little brown lumps for him in the fireplace.
Sometimes babies have accidents when they're sitting on the mall Santa's knee. Not 13-year-olds.
He left out a plateful of oogie cookies.
It's not what he did to Santa, it's what Santa knows he did. Santa knows. Oh yes. Santa. knows.
eideteker -- How should I celebrate the new year?
Cursing and ranting about the shit that was 2006, how nobody at the party knows the first thing about European History, and wondering just what in the hell happened to your class ring.
Staring at the television thanking god you had the presence of mind not to go to Times Square.
Getting to bed nice and early on New Years Eve so you can be up early and alert for Twilight Zone Marathon Day.
Between heated debates over whether Cheetara was boning Panthro or Lion-O, make a quick post wishing a Happy 2007 to all your friends on Livejournal.
subbes -- Most overrated infomercial product (excluding the drop-ship/real estate/pyramid scheme "make money now!!!" videos)?
. The lid hooks to the pot with a tongue & groove lock: pour boiling water through the lid, and the pot & lid swell shut until the pot (and the pasta) are cold enough to unhinge.
. I don't know anyone ever to even rate this, let alone overrate it, but bigger tits in a pill? Come on.
. Those things sucked. You'd have been better off squeezing a basketball between your thighs.
. How this works is there's two spinning coils that grab your hairs and yank them out by the root one by one. They should test Marines by seeing if they can shave one leg with this thing.
TWOFER!!!renob423 -- who was your favorite street fighter 2 character For clarity: which was your favorite one to play
TWOFER!!!renob423 -- and who was your least favorite sf2 character (including kami dee jay the bruce lee guy and the one i forgot) For clarity: which was your least favorite one to play
Which one could you not beat for the damned life of you no matter what:
soarjubs -- Who farted? Seriously...that shit is nasty.
I believe the saying goes, "Whoever smelt it dealt it."
Whenever I do find out who did it I'm going to tell him something about his stinky ass.
Whoever it was, it wasn't a girl. Girls don't fart. And on the rare occasion they do, it smells like freshly baked cinnamon buns.
coldblackncold -- Why do people hang CDs from their rearview mirrow?
To fool wouldbe thieves into thinking they don't have satellite radios in their cars.
Those people are such skilled drivers they need a 5" round blind spot in order to level the playing field.
Dangling CDs, like ching-chong writing and stripes, make cars go faster.
They are powerful weapons against cutter-offers and tailgaters. Tilted properly, they can concentrate a beam of sunlight directly into the offender's eyes.
From Evan: Which holiday meal side could you have as a main course?
Stuffing. Even Stove Top, I don't give a crap.
Green Bean Casserole.
Sweet Potatoes with Marshmallows.
Today I leave to go skiing for the first time since 1995. Using your best premonition skills, summarize the entry I will compose upon my return.
Tendency to either fall big or not fall at all remains true; lip split, sunglasses missing, nose thankfully unbroken.
Skiing ability returned quickly; bravado of a 17-year-old gone forever. Safely enjoyed self on beginner slopes.
Lure of hot tub and cheap wine strong; details of actual skiing strangely absent.
Yeah right, like you're going to write a real entry. It'll be This or That on Wednesday and straight to the Poll on Friday. We still haven't even heard about the Bahamas and that was a month ago.