Two housekeeping items before we continue with this week:
1. The correct answer to the shirt I did not see in Busch Gardens 2 weekends ago was the big fat redneck wearing the "I may be fat but my dick is huge" shirt. That was spotted by my brother on a big fat redneck who was loitering at a gas station in West Virginia.
2. Those of you who reject Darth Cutious as a name for my adorable Sith Lord of a car are fools and she will choke you with her mind. Either that or you read "CUT-eee-ous" instead of "CUTIE-ous", and now realize the glory of the name.
popespydie -- What's worse than a Sonic Drive In with a closed sign?
Living 49.2 miles from the nearest Sonic.
An Arby's with a closed sign.
10:34 a.m. at McDonalds.
Getting to Burger King finding out they've already cleaned the milkshake machine for the night.
observacious -- I don't want to be like all the people who are suddenly afraid of bridges because of [one] major collapse. I want my own irrational fear. What improbable tragedy should I needlessly worry about?
I saw this movie about a huge snowstorm that flooded New York and everybody was hanging out in the library and then this guy had to walk from Princeton to New York in the snow to get his kid and omigod what if it snows like that?
According to scientists, the possibility of a meteor crashing into the earth has been rising exponentially since the summer of 1998. Regular people are going to have to go up in space and destroy it before it destroys us!
Now that they're teaching monkeys how to use sign language, it won't be long before they can talk and then the next thing you know people are going to use them as servants and they're going to rise up and subjugate us and take over the whole planet!
All this genetic alteration and stem cell stuff isn't going to result in anything but hordes of people screaming and yelling and running from dinosaurs.
twicketface -- Is it appropriate to yell at someone you see not 'curbing' their dog? Ya know, I can't think of any circumstance whatsoever that would make it okay not to curb your dog. The question is, what do you say to the cocksucker?
"I would ask you how you would like it if I took a shit on your living room floor and just left it there, but clearly you lack both the decency and the sense of cleanliness to even notice if I had."
"Looks like someone needs to push your face down in that."
"Hey buddy, the landscapers working for the city have to work too ya know. Don't go fertilizing the flowerbeds for them. You're taking food right out of their children's mouths.
"Poor dog. I guess he's lucky you even walk him at all."
coldblackncold -- What is the deal with couples that sit on the same side of the table in restaurants when no one is joining them? Are they waiting for a bus?
They don't want to have to look each other in the eye or enjoy their meal comfortably. They're just into public handjobs.
It's not only to point out to everyone else in the restaurant that they're totally in love, but to remind everyone he's getting a handjob.
It's a lot easier to taste delicious morsels off your lover's plate with one hand while you give a handjob with the other.
htothem -- What trashy audio book should I "read" next? (It has to be trashy or it won't distract me from the unbearable pain of running)
The Gentleman Wore Grey: With her father and brothers lost to Gettysburg, only the quiet miller's son Jedidiah Delacroix could protect Anabelle from the tireless plundering of the Union Army.
A Semester Overseas: Jackie is a Fine Arts major at Villanova. She's always been free-spirited and independent, but she never would call herself cosmopolitan. These three months in Venice will change her forever.
Venti Extra Hot: She's a great barista who always smiles and means it. But when the Double Tall Americano and the Grande Nonfat Latte both ask her out, Sarah finds herself in a conundrum more caffeinated than a quad macchiato.
Pink for Girls, Blue for Boys: Donna loves working at a day care center, and as much as she loves children, Aaron, the single father of one of her adorable charges has a thing or two to teach her about loving adults.
subbes -- 2008 coffee table books
Hollywood and Pine : a collection of photographs of the various trees smashed into by celebrity starlets.
Passed Over : the harrowing but not-cute-enough faces of the other kids in the orphanages Angelina and Madonna shopped at.
The Bridges of Hennepin County
A Day in the Second Life : a series of screencaps of the depraved, pseudosocial online world of the Lindenites.
renob423 -- whats that guy up on the ladder singin about?
Toasters, coffee grinders, travel-sized shampoo, Foreman grills, King Sized Sheet Sets, and scented candles. The Bed Bath and Beyond circular is out and boy is it awesome.
It sounds poetic, but it's really just a thinly-veiled metaphor for how he plans on ritualistically torturing and murdering the guy he found in bed with his wife last weekend.
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Panrostiloj, kafo mueliloj, vojaĝadogranda ŝampuo, Skipestro kradrost, Reĝo Granda Folio Fiks, kaj odoraj kandeloj. La Lito Banujo kaj Preter ronda estas for kaj knabo ĝi estas imponega.
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From Evan: Tell me an elementary school joke.
Mommy! Daddy's racecar is in your garage! Turn on your headlights!
She opened the lingerie box and whined, "oh, it's all pink and wrinkly!" and the husband shouts "Hey, you promised you wouldn't peek!"
The next morning, the farmer tells them to drop their pants. The 1st man drops his pants and his penis falls off. 2nd man does the same and his penis falls off. 3rd man drops his pants and his penis is fine. The farmer asks why? "eye hun how"...
When it comes to scary things (horror movies, scary games, etc), which aspect of scariness scares you the most?
Psycho genius villians.
Of the following travel-related criminals, who should get the death penalty?
Carryon Limit Pushers.
Window Seat Pisssers.
Change-in-Pocket Metal Detecter Walkers.