Short poll this week, which turned out to be a blessing since I have a 3-hour meeting starting at 10.
Something that's been on my mind to post but I haven't gotten around to it: the Poll amazes me sometimes. Just when I think I have written the ultimate answer for something, it turns out to be the worst, or sometimes the answer I think is a total stinker runs away with the lead.
For example, subbes
's question from a few weeks ago, Wikipedia articles destined to lose their VfD (and, optionally, pithy comments from the VfD page)
. Once I wrote "Intravaginaltarsalitis", I nearly had a breakdown, wondering what in the hell I could write next that anyone would pick since this was the clear and obvious winner. I almost re-wrote "Lauren Steinmann (Vicious Whore)", which I had written first, because it would never stand up. What happened? Lauren Steinmann got 7 out of the 12 votes, and Intravaginaltarsalitis got 0. I was stunned.
Most of the time, I pick the answer that I think is the weakest, so that every answer gets at least one pity vote. There are exceptions to this rule, mostly when the question is about right and wrong and not a subjective rating of humor, i.e. Stay with Roger Brophy
which is the correct answer.
Big ups to everybody who participates in the poll each week.
observacious -- What will Thanksgiving be like in Cancun with bobwhite's family? Am I a bad future daughter-in-law for being disappointed to miss out on turkey and stuffing?
Probably a lot like Cinco de Mayo is here: lost of paper cornucopia and turkey cutout decorations, cheap beer specials and Mexicanized versions of Thanksgiving food.
If it's anything like the time I spent St. Patrick's Day in Atlantic City, or how I imagine New Year's Eve in Las Vegas would be like, you'll probably not even notice it's happening.
If I know Bob, Thanksgiving will begin with a big greasy brunch, then the 2pm viewing of Raising Arizona on AMC, followed by happy hour with burgers (turkey burgers to mark the day) and Touchscreen, then a late night bullshit session on the beach.
To appease these same feelings of loss you share with your fellow vacationers, the resort will do a special Thanksgiving-themed dinner. The effect will be opposite of the intent: the halfassed semi-holiday will make everyone wish they were home.
absolutcalm -- Everyone seems to hate Tom Brady but, seriously, how much of a prick is Peyton Manning? He pretends to be the "every man," but he's a second generation quarterback, a fucking "legacy" player who was probably rich and has way too many commercials on TV.
A quick message to the people of Boston and their fans: you are no longer the scrappy underdogs you once were. Sure, everybody wants to be the Little Engine that Could, but it's gotta start feeling as disingenuous to you as it is to the rest of us.
Tom Brady was the handsome, lovable, all-American football hunk everyman a few years ago, before success earned him the scrutiny and disdain of a public who hates a winner (see: Shipoopi). Peyton Manning can expect a similar rise and fall.
Peyton Manning hasn't singlehandedly destroyed thousands of Fantasy Football seasons this year.
Let this be a lesson to you: anyone on TV who seems like an "every man" is in fact very very different from any man you have ever come in contact with. That's why these guys are on TV.
renob423 -- if i do a friday poll on sunday, is it still a friday poll? Yes. is everything grey? No. how come i havn't seen any cornhole games this year? how come i don't care that i havn't seen any cornhole games this year. is that better or worse than hacky sack? What the fuck are cornhole games?
It's like Rochambeau, but different.
It's the annual Bar-O-Lympics at Des Moines' favorite tavern for the agricultural set.
He made it sound like they have something to do with Hackey Sack...maybe if Hackey Sack is a solitary game of soccer showboating, Cornhole games are like that but for basketball, or golf. Maybe that's what Tiger Woods was doing in that commercial!
[INSERT PRISON RAPE JOKE HERE].
eideteker -- Ho-yay or Ho-nay?
Ho-yay. It adds a few new layers of intrigue to storylines that may or may not have been all that interesting in the first place.
Ho-nay. Just because two same-sex characters are shown onscreen together doesn't mean they're putting Tab A in Slot B offscreen.
subbes -- Things to do instead of planning for retirement
Satisfying your basic needs, which for many of us means ignoring HR's patronizing suggestion of how foolish it is not to deduct the maximum for your 401K. Saving is great, but money I have when I'm 65 isn't going to feed me or pay my rent now.
Planning for a swift and premature demise.
Plan? Who needs to plan for retirement? There's NO WAY the Baby Boomers will leech up all of the social security money by the time we're ready for retirement! We'll be fine!
Work from home selling products on eBay you never see or have to store. When you make $100,000 a year from the comfort of your own home, every day will feel like a vacation - who needs to retire?
In response to observacious's second question, there's nothing wrong with being disappointed in missing out on Thanksgiving. Similarly, there's nothing worse than saddling up to the Thanksgiving table and finding things...different. Therefore: "I'm as big of a gourmet foodie as the next yuppie, but when it comes to Thanksgiving, don't you dare go and schmancy up my _________ " Please check all that apply.
Yams with marshmallows.
Can-shaped cranberry sauce.
Green bean casserole.
Straight-up mashed potatoes (homemade or instant).
Other traditional side dish made with condensed soup and/or Cheez Whiz.
I better not see any sort of macadamia-nut crust or squash coulis-infusion anywhere near that turkey.
Also on the Thanksgiving tip, I will be making an assortment of cookies for Evan's family this year. I'm trying to keep things fresh, but there will be some repeats. The Chocolate Chip will be coming back (natch) and instead of Oatmeal Craisin & White Chocolate like I did last year, I'll make Oatmeal Raisin. I got a sugar cookie gun, so that's on the list too. Which leaves room for two more varieties. Please pick the two you think would be best:
Rice Krispie Treats.
Being a holiday and whatnot, there will not be a poll on Friday the 23rd. Therefore, please submit YOUR QUESTION HERE for Nov. 30th.