I apparently screwed the pooch and failed to check for updated questions before I posted last week's poll, much to the chagrin of a few regular questioners. My apologies, folks. Given the recent trend of my job requiring me to do things on Friday mornings, I've started writing the poll earlier. If I miss an updated question in the future, think of it as a bonus: you don't have to think up a new question for another whole week.
Also, there will be no poll on Friday, January 25 as I will be galavanting around Disney World all next week.
htothem -- Who is the next celeb to get preggers?
The drag queen on Desperate Housewives.
Dame Judi Dench.
Britney. It's been a while.
observacious -- Why do the some types of reality shows and their rip-offs seem to run for ever and more interesting ones (like "Murder in Small Town X") fail, never to return?
Originality? Intrigue? Who needs it. I want my reality shows to require no more thought than "oooooooooooohhh. Pretty."
This should come as no surprise. Think of the types of movie concepts that get sequel after sequel and ripoff after ripoff. Hollywood isn't betting the farm on something interesting.
It's time to face the truth: America loves watching skanks fight for the affection of gross ex-celebrities.
There are people out there who think the voting rules on Big Brother are complicated. Rather than confuse everybody, they have to keep it to simple, understandable concepts like talent shows and modified beauty pageants.
absolutcalm -- WTF? I changed my question-- gay supervillains was a placeholder! So, with Will Smith a Thetan (thus proven an alien, as I assumed he and Jada were) I want a new cult for the cooler, less ghoulish celebs-- whatcha got? You phrased this way better last week: absolutcalm -- I was about to make a question about what planet Will and Jada Smith are from when the bastards go ahead and out themselves as Scientologists. Well, fuck that: I want a cult for the cooler celebs, complete with money laundering. What should be it about?
Realizing Scientology's limitations of being based on a book, Primamorphology follows Planet of the Apes, teaching followers to instill human values in pets (dress them, treat them like children) so we can all evolve into superintelligent animals.
The coolest celebrities are usually the ones who need to replace the absent affection of thier parents. The "Mothers" and "Fathers" of the Cult of the Family provide this love at their special celebrity "home" retreats, where money is no object.
Coastal real estate values plummet when it's revealed that the Malibu Realtor's Association is behind the Antediluvian Cult, which teaches celebrities proximity to the ocean provides enlightenment from the long-deceased inhabitants of Atlantis.
Imagine a cult whose followers believe they have the power to control the world around them and that they can erase the negative impact of their existence on Earth (or "carbon footprint" as the cult calls it) if they buy "credits" from the leaders.
subbes -- Awkward conversation openers from delivery guys [I mean food delivery, i.e. chinese and pizza, but you may conflate to include UPS etc if food delivery is too restrictive]
"That'll be $24.63. Funny, your order is always more the third week of the month."
"Pleasurepalace.com, huh? Sign here."
"Sorry it took so long. My car keeps stalling out and my wife called me to say my son - you know, the one with Lukemia? - he's going to have to go back in the hospital for a few months so she'll have to quit night school again. Oh, that's $17.46."
"Yeah, Billy isn't doing deliveries tonight, he called in sick. Food poisoning."
eideteker -- Ok, fine, YOU come up with something funny. Ok, I will. Clay Aiken will be playing Sir Robin in Spamalot on Broadway. I, personally, am fer it. (In spite of his not knowing "who" Monty Python is at first). I also can't think of a better medium for ex-Idols:
Justin Guarini as the Scarecrow in The Wiz.
Carrie Underwood as Sandy Dumbrowski in Grease.
Sanjaya as Dr. Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Kelly Clarkson as Lili Von Schtupp in Blazing Saddles. You know it's coming. May as well cast it now.
renob423 -- in the new terminator show, am i older or younger than john connor (we were roughly the same age in 1991/1992 in 1999 he was 15 and i was 19 - WHAT THE FUCK???) do you think this new john connor has played brainscan? or burried a dead animal?
Confession: when I was like 13 I found a big bowie knife in my basement and carved "NO FATE" on the back of the basement stairs. True story. I wanted to be Sarah Connor so bad with her asskicking and resourcefuleness and all.
When T2 came out my next door neighbor suggested we go see it and I said I couldn't because it was an R and he gave me this look like I was the lamest person in the world.
I remember my Teen Magazine the month T2 came out doing a poll of who was hotter, Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor or Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy.
Even then did any of us believe the little redheaded kid from Diff'rent Strokes as some GNR-listening hooligan?
eideteker's question last week that I missed due to a late change was -- i don't believe Which was a YouTube of Will Smith's face being all distorted but he's changed his question to: eideteker -- Who are you, and what have you done with my question?
The hung over with nothing to do Friday Poll Writer you have come to know and love has been replaced by a 30-year-old with job responsibilities.
I'm Mej and I'm grateful you changed your question again. That link wasn't much to work with.
Man, I wish I missed this one too. You've got two weeks - use them wisely.
Who are you and what have you done to your question? Seriously, this is not good.
bobwhite -- I still hate Kate Nash. Here's a contribution for this week:
Stay on target...stay on target...
Wait for it...wait for it...
Yes, yes, it's tragic when an actor dies young and it really makes us look back at his/her career with a rose-tinted magnifying glass, searching desperately for evidence of genius that can make us lament the cruelty of fate and the harshness of Hollywood. But seriously, Brad Renfro?
Wasn't he in some movie with the kids from Home Improvement or something?
I would tell you how distraught I am by this awful tragedy, but I think my new "Brenfro" userpic speaks for itself.
Gary Coleman is selling his pants on eBay. Not a bad way to make a few hundred thousand dollars. Take a memo,
Shannen Doherty. Perhaps one of your wedding dresses? A slappin' glove?
Wesley Snipes. Just make sure you report this one.
Emilio Estevez. You could probably buy any number of Anaheim Ducks jerseys and bring their value up at least $20 if you signed them.
Nick Cage's fugly goth kid. You've got "Julian Lennon" written all over you. Think about the future, man.