June 26th, 2009


Chirp! Chirp!

  • 10:03 Interesting how the corpspeak terms "outside the box" and "out of the box" are so similar-sounding for such differently-intended meanings. #
  • 10:04 @kimmyz Sounds like last night's adventure sheds some light on the odd burning-plastic smell of your back alley. #
  • 14:05 Sorry to hear Farrah Fawcett is gone, but let it be written: I do. not. want the word "anal" in my obituary. No matter what I die from. #
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It's Friday Poll Time!

Poll #1421498 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

mac -- worst tattoo idea evar.

Any variation on man-pushing-lawnmower-across-pubes.
Some idiot on a Lost board got the numbers tattooed on their arm halfway through season 1. A) the numbers turned out to be bad and B) that was SEASON 1. Who knew if Lost would be just another Life On Mars? (see also: Pam Anderson's Barb Wire tattoo).
Anything on your head/neck/hands. To pull that off, you have to be a great musician, great artist or great chef, but most of the folks with tattoos there end up being little more than mediocre barristas.

pooplord -- My dad is coming to visit for a few days. How much toilet paper will he use? I'm starting to think maybe he should bring his own.

If he's anything like my mom and her kleenex fascination, you'll need at least 3x as much as usual.
He's a dude, so he shouldn't be using more than a few poop-doses of the stuff. What is he doing with all the TP?
As much as you may want to ask him to bring his own toilet paper, how on earth would you plan on broaching that subject without hurt feelings?
Steal one of those jumbo rolls next time you're at a rest stop and keep it on hand for such occasions.

eideteker -- Can't we save the poll by all asking multiple questions?

Sure, go for it, but they have to be good. This one, for example? Not much to work with.
That's so renob.

renob423 -- why is green day still relevant? they wrote maybe 3 good songs in the 15 years they have been around and there were 1,000's of other bands that sounded just like them in the 90's. so why do we have to pretend billy joe is some kind of musical genieus?

That's 3 more good songs than most of the bands that have come out since 1994.
They bravely made an anti-Bush theme album during the peak of Bush-bashing popularity, which provided a nice quickening to their punkness in the face of their fortyness.
We have to pretend they're musical geniuses in order to feel better about ourselves for following a 3-chord band for so long.
Fortunately, we're not asking why Limp Bizkit is still relevant. Let's celebrate the small victories.

So Farrah Fawcett died of anal cancer. What's most tragic about this is that while she spent her celebrity enjoying sex symbol status, nobody will ever think of her again without thinking of her butthole. To provide dignity to anyone who dies from butthole diseases from now on, the code word should be:

Mauled by a bear.
The vapors.
Caught necktie/clothing in paper shredder.
Leporacy and/or Bubonic Plague.

Michael Jackson is:

Dead for real.
Dead ala Tupac/Andy Kaufman.
In a cryogenics vault with Walt Disney.


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