The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

  • Mood:

Pop Culture Whore Stock Report

MTV saw a surge at the opening bell this morning when reports that they have again successfully knocked another midseason reality replacement out of the park with Surf Girls (PCW symbol: SFG), the story of 16 female surfers competing for a wildcard slot in a professional surfing competition. The surprising performance of SFG this morning may return some of MTV's losses incurred when they tried to duplicate last year's successful Sorrority Life (PCW: AEOP) with a second season of Sorrority Life (PCW: SL2) and the entirely unwatchable Fraternity Life (PCW: FRAT).

Shares of the Matrix (PCW: Mtrx) continue to plummet with the release of film tie-in ad campaigns for both Powerade and Heineken beer. Analysts believe that any losses to a Powerade commecial could have been recouped; however, stooping to Hineken, in combination with the utter lack of any creativity or effort having been put into the flying flip-kick waitress spot, has brought Mtrx its biggest low in 3 years.

Cartoon Network (PCW: TOON) continues to reap the profits of what may proove to be their smartest move since their inception: picking up what Fox was too humourless to hold on to. The Futurama/Family Guy hour has reportedly postponed bedtimes across the country, and yet shareholders are happy to lose the sleep.

Preliminary murmurings about the latest installment of MTV's Road Rules: South Pacific (PCW: RdRl) are underwhelming at best. Last year's Road Rules: Campus Crawl missed targets due mostly to pathetic storylines and a miserable cast. Eyebrows are raised across the PCW floor at early reports that one of the characters speaks about himself in the third person.

This same cast member; however, is MTV's first overweight reality cast member since 1995's Real World: London (PCW: TRW). While Bunim/Murray Productions, creators and producers of the Real World and Road Rules, has given us two fat black women in past seasons, this is Bunim/Murray's first fat black man. "We like to show that our target audience comes in all of the shapes and sizes that MTV's music stars come in. Heather B. and Sharon showed the MTV viewers that they too can look like Queen Latifah or Missy Elliot. Donell will be joining the Road Rules cast to remind everyone that you can be as much of a playa as Biggie and Fat Joe when you look like Biggie or Fat Joe! He'll certainly be shaking his belly around to prove that he's a playa!"

When asked about when the first overweight white cast member will appear, Bunim/Murray snapped, "it will be okay for white people to be fat when we SAY it's okay for white people to be fat. It's bad enough we have to deal with Kelly Osbourne and that one member of the Donnas that we keep having to crop out of the frame."

Analysts remain apprehensive.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 7 comments