The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight

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I hate because I love

Don't get me wrong. I love Television Without Pity. I love the recaps and I love the message boards. They can be a source of new perspectives on the shows, a confirmation of my interpretations, or otherwise a good laugh.

I rarely post on the message boards, however. Like my comments on LJ, I tend to reserve comment unless I have something particularly insightful, clever, or original to say. If what I'm about to say has been said five times already, I don't need to chime in. If someone said something I appreciated and I didn't have more than five words to say about it, I just let it go. I'm quickly realizing I'm in the minority in that aspect on TVWoP, and that the boards there are full of the type of posters who infect LJ with the OMG LOL, (((hugz))) and otherwise monosyllabic meaningless comments.

With that, I present:

The Top Five Most Annoying Things about TVWoP Posters

5. You owe me a new keyboard: It is common on the TVWoP forums to see at least 2 to 3 posts that quote something someone said earlier and then state that thanks to the comedic genius of that poster, they are owed either a new keyboard, monitor, computer, pair of pants, etc. Sometimes, but not always, the beverage that was "snarfed" is specified; sometimes, but not always, the word "snarf" is used.

4. Edited because... : The TVWoP forum boards will show an italicized note that a post had been edited, the date, and who did the editing. Oftentimes, the poster who did the editing will include a note at the bottom of their post that says "Edited for" or "Edited because". The most common reasons are: misspellings ("Edited because 'their' and 'they're' aren't the same thing), coding errors ("Edited for proper tags"), props distribution ("Edited to add: SnarkyQueen227, you owe me a new keyboard!"), or for brevity, usually attributed to caffeine withdrawl ("Edited because I haven't had my coffee yet and I'm rambling").

3. Garbage Pail Kids: The common TVWoP poster thinks switching a character's name around to make it sound like something mean is the funniest thing in the world. For example, Road Rules' Donell quickly became "Donut" on the boards, Emily became "Evily", Chadwick became "Chadprick". The Real World's Kyle was known as "Vyle", Ace is "Ass" or "Acehole", and Colin became "Colon". Props will be assigned to whoever thought up the best GPK name for the characters, and when a someone repeats a particularly saucy name, credit will be assigned where credit is due with a trademark ("I can not BELIEVE how much I hate Donut (TM RealityJunkie45)"). In the ongoing game of Garbage Pail Oneupping, the posters tend to go overboard and assign names to characters that are so far fetched that the original character name is barely recognizable, example: The Real World's Irulan was being referred to as "Urinal" during her season.

2. (TM me?): Aside from clever Garbage Pail name mockings, TVWoPers often think they are the first people to have come up with common vernacular. So far in my readings, I have seen individuals stake claim to having invented the terms "Asshat", "Fuckwit", "Assclown", "Spunkmonkey", and other compound words that have popularized themselves within the realm of popular culture. In a similar vein, TVWoP Posters also tend to think they were the first to have discovered such films as Office Space, Heathers, PCU, or Goonies, and take great delight when another poster expresses familiarity with such underground cult rarities.

1. The Love/Hate Train: Whenever a TVWoP poster has a character that they enjoy on a particular show, they don't just enjoy that character's antics, they get on that character's "Love Train." Conversely, a disliked character will have a "Hate Train". These trains become complex fantasies, complete with express trains ("After last night's episode, I'm on the Leah Hate Train Express!"), conductors ("Man, just call me the conductor of the Dave Love Train!"), tickets ("I'm going to trade my ticket on the Veronica Hate Train and catch a ride on the Emily Hate Acela!"), and cars ("Meet me in the dining car of the Ruthie Love Train!" or "I may not be off the Colin Hate Train yet, but I'm at least in the caboose.").

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